


Another chance

by Absy



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: F/F, Post-Season/Series 07
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:28:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 53,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25935937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Absy/pseuds/Absy
Summary: After they defeated the First, the gang settled in Cleveland, and Faith followed them. As she tries to finally become a part of their group, and make things right, Buffy doesn't seem too keen on letting her in. Especially when Faith seems to be hiding something.
Relationships: Faith Lehane/Buffy Summers
Comments: 14
Kudos: 89





	1. Chapter 1

After Sunnydale was nothing more than a big crater, Faith had thought that things would be ok, they seemed on the right path, so when Giles asked her to go with them to the next Hellmouth, in sweet old Cleveland, she didn’t really think too much about it and accepted. Something about doing the right thing, following her path to redemption or some shit like that, that Angel wouldn’t shut up about.   
Some of the girls returned home and some stayed. Robin stayed for a while but eventually left, quickly gathering that what he’d had with Faith wasn’t meant to last. As much as he wanted to believe that he could show her something special, something that she’d never experienced before, that just wasn’t her. Or maybe, that wasn’t him she imagined it with. If she ever imagined it to begin with, that is.  
Anyway, as soon as the rest of them settled, though, when it was decided that they’d turn that big castle in some slayers’ school, when they each ended with a schedule and some role and more responsibilities than Faith had ever had, Giles took off. Said that he was needed in England to rebuilt the Watchers’ Council and Faith was left alone, or as alone as you could be living with 30 other people. Problem was, the only one who’d really wanted her there to begin with had left. She quickly realized that the brief truce she’d had with Buffy during the fight against the First was apparently over. The blonde slayer was quickly back to ignoring her or picking up stupid fights with her. And when Faith wouldn’t comply, she’d huff and blame the brunette for all the bad things in her life. Talk about one step forward and a hundred steps back. As for the others, they treated her like they always did, like she wasn’t even there.  
So she mostly minded her own business, giving the classes she was asked to, drinking a beer with Kennedy, who was almost the only person who willingly talked to her, or watching Andrew cook for the girls while giving her tips. She never told him that she’d had to learn how to cook around the age of 8, her mother always being too drunk to remember - or to care - to feed her daughter.

It lasted for 3 months, before Faith started to feel restless, out of place, too lonely while being surrounded by so many people - too many people ? - , most of whom were like her, or like she had been at some point. She was starting to wonder if she wouldn’t do more good going off on her own. She could travel the world, help people around, have a purpose. Here, she felt that, aside from giving tips to the baby slayers and patrolling alone at night, her life was empty.

She didn’t really know what was missing until one by one, the Scooby gang started to come to her. 

It started with Xander, one Saturday afternoon, while they were alone in the castle. Faith had no idea of the others’ whereabouts, just that when she woke up, the place was pretty much deserted. She crossed paths with Xander in the kitchen, they just nodded at each other as usual and had breakfast in silence. Eventually, she went back to her room. She was playing some lame video game, bored out of her mind, when she heard knocking on her door. 

« Can I come in? » Xander just passed his head through the door and waited unsurely for Faith’s answer. She tried to hide her surprise and shrugged. It was the first time since they’d gotten there that one of them wanted to talk to her for anything other than business. At least, it didn’t look like a business visit.  
« Sure »  
He closed the door behind him and sat at the edge of the bed. After a while with neither of them saying anything, Faith got uncomfortable and started fidgeting.  
« So… » she started but didn’t really know what to say to him.  
« Why did you choose to come here with us, Faith? » he asked abruptly, avoiding to look at her.  
She was caught off guard by the question and it took her a few minutes to gather her thoughts enough to answer him.   
« Seemed like the right thing to do… and it’s not like I really had anywhere else to go, so… »  
He smiled a little at her words and she finally allowed herself to relax, even just slightly. « I kinda … wanted to make things right too… with you guys. Did some pretty shitty things back in the day, to you too, wasn’t cool… I guess what I’m tryin’a say is… you know… that I’m… »  
Xander chuckled softly under his breath and decided to take her out of her misery. « Sorry? » He smiled again to let her know that it was ok.  
« Yeah? » she asked rather than stated. « Yeah, I am, X-man » she said more confidently. « I know that I can’t take it all back, wish I could you know? But the Big guy says that it doesn’t work that way and unfortunately he knows his shit so… »  
« Do you realize that it’s probably the most you’ve talked to me since we met? » Xander asked gently, not wanting the brunette to close off, but pointing out the obvious anyway.  
« Yeah… well I guess we never really got the chance before. »  
« Let’s take it now, then. » He paused, trying to figure out how to tell Faith what he really wanted to, and she waited patiently, which surprised him but gave him the will to continue. « I lost the woman I love, I watched one of my best friends die, and I watched another one try to end the world… life is short Faith, you’re not the same person you were all those years ago, I’m not either. Maybe we should try this friends thing now? »  
« You hitting on me Cyclops? » she joked, trying to deflate the serious tone of the conversation, because if she didn’t, she feared she’d start to get emotional on him and that wasn’t Faith. He didn’t know what his words meant to her, and she wasn’t ready for him to see it.  
« You wish ! You had your shot with me missy, it’s too late now » he winked, or at least that’s what she guessed when he closed his good eye, and laughed with her, gently bumping shoulders. And just like that, or at least that’s how it felt for Faith, they were ok. She handed him a controller and they started to play the same video game she swore was lame half an hour before. Maybe having a friend wasn’t so bad after all. 

Having a conversation with Xander was pretty easy, Faith thought. She always knew he had a good heart, even when she threw him out after popping his cherry. They just never had the chance to really get to know each other. He was Buffy’s shadow, and she was just the dark slayer. She wasn’t in a good place at the time, and he was just a scarred kid. But now, things were different, they weren’t this closed off group they once were, and Xander seemed opened to try his hand on some friendship with her. And after various hours spent talking and playing video games, Faith realized that they had way more in common that she had ever thought. Shitty parents for starters. He let her in some of his worst memories, he talked about Anya, how he missed her, and in return, she shared a bit of her own. He started to treat her like one of the good people and it felt really good. She would never admit it out loud, but this first step was ultimately what made her stay in Cleveland.

After a few more weeks of bonding and spending a good amount of time with Xander, she started to notice the suspicious looks she was getting from Willow. Whenever they were playing pool in the common room, or reading comics and arguing over who was the better superhero, the red-head would be near, watching them with a strange, yet somewhat curious expression on her face.

Faith was doing push-ups in the gym one night, with the radio blaring some techno beats when she felt a presence in the room with her. She turned around and found Willow watching her, with the same confused expression.  
« Need something Red? » Faith asked a little out of breath from her hard session.   
« You’re different » Willow said softly, a little unsure.  
« Yeah? Well, X-man says we all change, guess he’s right then » she shrugged and started to straighten the room.  
« You know… you and me, we aren’t so different. We both had to fight the darkness… we probably always will have to… »  
« Nah Red, you’re nothing like me, don’t worry -«   
Willow interrupted her, frowning « Yes, I am. Actually, maybe I’m worse, I did try to end the world and all » she casted her eyes down, avoiding the brunette’s.  
« Because you were hurt, you were suffering, that’s different Red » Faith tried to reason.  
« And you weren’t ? »  
Faith didn’t know what to say to that. She never expected anyone, especially Willow, to understand it, to figure it out in a way. But maybe they did have more in common that she thought.   
Willow nodded gently, not needing the brunette to answer to know she was right, so she just kept going. « But we found our way eventually. I… I miss Tara… everyday… but I know that I have to keep going, she wouldn’t want me to ever fall into darkness like that again. And everyday I get out of bed for her, and I try my best for her. Don’t get me wrong, I’m really happy that I have Kennedy, but… » she trailed off but Faith already knew what was on her mind.  
« But she is no Tara? » she asked gently.  
« Yeah… I guess no one will ever be » Willow wiped a few tears that had felt without her consent. « You know… when you woke up from… your coma… and all those things happened? After you went to jail, I was so angry at you, again, and I was venting out to her about you. You know what she told me? »  
Faith shook her head, even though she knew it was a rhetorical question.  
« She said that you weren’t evil. And I was like ‘you don’t know her like we do!’ But she said that she could see you, she could see how afraid you were, how betrayed you felt, how alone… she saw you Faith, and now… now I want to see you too »  
Faith was speechless. She had been nothing but a bitch to the poor blonde witch during the short encounter they had, and here she had been, defending her from her girlfriend’s true words. She knew it was supposed to make her feel better, but it actually made her feel worse, it reminded her how heartless and cruel she had been at that time.  
Probably sensing her discomfort, Willow was quick to talk again.  
« You know, it’s funny because Tara and you are so different, but I just have this feeling that you two would have been friends. She was like that, she always looked beyond the obvious… You would have liked her too… » Willow was getting teary again and Faith didn’t know what came upon her but she put a hesitant hand on the red-head’s shoulder.  
« I’m sure I would have Red. She seemed like a good kid to me, and a cutie too » she winked, removing her hand after an awkward pat.  
« I never talk about her anymore… It makes everyone sad, so I just don’t… »  
« Doesn’t it make you sad too? » Faith asked curiously.  
« No… I mean, yes, I’m obviously still not over it, I’ll probably never be, but sometimes… sometimes it feels good to remember… » Willow looked at her, silently pleading for Faith to understand. And as crazy as it was, in a sense she did.  
« Well… I’m probably not your favorite person in this castle, but whenever you feel the need to talk about T you can still come to me, it’d be kinda cool hearing about her » Faith smiled shyly, the kind of smile Willow had never seen on the brunette. All she could do was smile too, wiping the remainders of her tears and nodding softly.  
« Thanks Faith » she didn’t say anything else as she turned around and left.

Faith actually never expected Willow to take her out on her offer, but she did. Did she ever.   
Everyday before her morning classes, Faith would find Willow on her doorstep, a cup of black coffee in one hand - Faith’s poison - and a cup of tea for herself in the other. She’d smile shyly at the dark slayer and silently ask if it was ok for her to be there. And everyday, Faith would just open the door wider and step aside to let the witch in.   
Willow mostly talked about Tara the first couple of weeks. She shared all kind of memories about their relationship, wether good or bad, and Faith listened diligently, asking a question here or there, smiling or laughing when appropriate, and trying to be comforting when necessary. The Bostonian actually didn’t know who was more surprised by her listening skills. She always thought of herself as someone who didn’t really care about others, couldn’t afford to care, her life being complicated enough without her trying to watch after anyone but herself. But she also always longed after being a part of this family, wether she admitted it or not, and Willow was the second step taken in that direction. She would have never thought that they could get there, but in a way, she should have. For all their flaws, they were good people, they wore their hearts on their sleeves.

Once the red-head felt more comfortable around Faith, she started asking her questions about her life, her childhood, her family. Of course, Faith closed off, or made some stupid joke, or changed the topic all together in the beginning. Part of her well used defenses. But Willow was patient, more than anyone had ever been with her, so she started to open up a bit more.   
Talking with Xander and Willow, she realized that most of what she always thought about Buffy’s friends was wrong. They didn’t have this easy life she had always imagined. Joyce and Giles were probably the only reliable adults they all ever had in their lives, and sadly, one of them was dead and the other… he wasn’t the father figure he once had been anymore. Not to them anyway. There was a clear gap between the watcher and the rest of them, not only physically but emotionally as well, maybe there was one between everyone now.  
Faith didn’t know if she had been blinded by her jealousy, by her own insecurities, or if maybe, she wasn’t the only one who liked to keep her shitty life bottled-up. Either way, she was starting to look at them differently, and so were they.

The next Scooby reaching to her was as much a surprise as it wasn’t, in a sense. Little Dawn, who wasn’t that little anymore, having a good couple of inches on Faith now.  
She remembered Dawn always going after her and Buffy when she first got in Sunnydale, always wanting to spend time with them, but Buffy would have none of that, and Faith actually felt bad for the kid. So she made an effort to include the younger Summers when she could, trying to teach her how to throw a punch, and suffering Buffy’s wrath for that. She played board games with the brat when her sister was too busy with her dead boyfriend to care about either of them, and maybe that’s what gave them some sort of understanding. They both knew how it felt to always be the second choice.   
But none of that had ever happened, and it broke Faith’s heart, because she always felt like Dawn was her first real friend, maybe her only real friend even. Of course, ‘real’ wasn’t really fitting seeing as those memories were all put in her head, and that broke her too, because Dawn was the only one she wanted to protect, that she didn’t want to hurt, but that was a lie, and it didn’t make sense. It didn’t, because why would the monks make her believe that she had been kinda good to one person, when all she had done was destroy anyone she had ever met?

Dawn was mad when she got back to Sunnydale for the fight against the First. Faith wasn’t really expecting anything else, after all, she did try to kill the kid’s sister a couple of times. But the dark slayer felt some kind of pride, seeing her all grown-up, defying Faith like she could take her. Faith respected her all the more for that. But she also understood that what they once had - or never had, as confusing as it was - would never return. Even if she didn’t mean to, she betrayed baby Summers when she went after her sister.

Which is why she never expected to see Dawn running after her, a helmet in her hand, as Faith was about to start her bike.  
« Hey ! Wait ! » she was out of breath when she finally got there and Faith couldn’t help but smirk. « Shut up ! I’m not as in a good shape as I thought, god. » She took a few deep breaths and Faith questioningly gestured for the helmet in her hands. « Oh yeah, that… Do you - Can I -«  
Faith only motioned for her to hop in. As an afterthought, she said « Your sister will kill me if she finds out, right? »  
Dawn bit her lip unsurely before shrugging « Probably yeah ». Faith just chuckled before taking off.  
The dark slayer rode to the Lake Erie, not going as fast as she usually did, careful of Dawn, who held her tight but didn’t seemed scared or worried.  
She found a quiet spot and they sat in a comfortable silence side by side.  
Faith was the first to break it. « Everything ok kiddo? »  
« I’m not a kid anymore Faith » It wasn’t said with the usual bratty and offended tone this sentence went with and Faith frowned.  
« I know you’re not, haven’t been for a while, right? » she eventually said.  
« Burying your mother, then your sister in a matter of weeks would do that to you » Dawn answered, but she seemed detached and that really didn’t suit well with the Bostonian.  
« Fighting against the First and surviving yet another Apocalypse probably didn’t help either »   
Dawn didn’t answer her, so Faith felt the need to push a bit. « But you’re going to college now, gives ya some sort of normalcy. Before we know it, ya’ll be bringing some cutie guy home » she joked but it didn’t have the desired effect.  
« Like I could bring a boy in this crazy place ».  
« Yeah, I get it. Too many people, not enough privacy? »  
« I don’t know what privacy is anymore. Before we got here, I had to share my room with a bunch of girls, now I have my own room, but I still have to share everything else… Including my sister » she added under her breath.  
Faith was starting to see the problem, but didn’t really know what to say. She knew that Dawn always felt left behind, too young, not good enough to be a part of whatever they were doing. She could understand better than anyone the feeling, still, she herself didn’t know how to deal with the feeling most of the time.  
« But you know the feeling, right? You always had to share my sister, she was never really yours » Dawn said after a few more minutes of silence and the dark slayer was taken aback by her words.  
« I - No, I mean -« she took a deep breath and started again. « Your sister and I, it’s different, we’ll probably never see eye to eye, we have too much history, I fucked it up with her, and now we have to live with the consequences. I have to… But it was never about sharing my time with her, or - or her being mine, whatever that means » Faith tried to hide her fluster, running her hands through her wild locks. The younger Summers just laughed softly, mirthlessly.  
« I know you better than you think, Faith. I might have been just a kid back then, but I had eyes you know. Just because Buffy is oblivious doesn’t mean that I am. » She let her words hang in the air before giving Faith a real smile for the first time in a long time « I always thought she was kinda stupid for not seeing it, they all were. And I was kinda jealous too, because I used to have this stupid crush on you when I was like 11 or 12 » she winked at the end of her words and Faith couldn’t help but laugh.  
« God, baby S, now I’m all flustered » she joked, trying to hide a blush (because damn, Faith Lehane didn’t blush ! ) and Dawn just swatted her arm, accepting that the slayer wouldn’t talk about that particular topic.  
« You’re an ass, do you know that? »  
« Yeah » she smiled and put her arm around Dawn. « I’m sorry Dawnie… I should have been there for you… when you needed it. I - I’m sorry for all this bad stuff that happened, that shitty stuff I kept doing to you guys, to your sister, to your mom… God… I liked the lady so damn much, and still screwed things up with her too… » she was now thinking aloud but Dawn let her, a few tears running down her face, her head on Faith’s shoulder. « She’s the one person I’ll never get to apologize to, and she’s probably the one I need to the most… I’m sorry Mrs S… »  
« She would have forgiven you Faith… » Dawn said softly, lifting her head and staring deeply in Faith’s eyes.  
« Will you? » Faith couldn’t help but ask, lowering her head, too afraid to look in Dawn’s eyes and see what she feared. That all the apologies in the world would never make up for what she did.  
« Someday… yeah I think I will, just… just give me some time, yeah? »  
« I’ll give you all the time you need Dawnie »

The younger Summers nodded and put her head back in Faith’s shoulder, the two of them looking over the lake, almost in peace with each other for the first time in years.

Faith felt that she was acting a bit out of character, but maybe all this time spent with Willow and Xander had, indeed, helped her open up more, and if that was the case, she was glad for it. Maybe it was time for her to stop hiding behind some metaphorical walls and just learn to be the slayer she should have been all along, the person she should be.

Dawn had the feeling that Faith wouldn’t want to broach the topic of her relationship with Buffy, but she actually didn’t expect her to rather be apologizing for all that had happened than talking about the other slayer. But it made sense, in a Faith kind of way. Buffy always would be the one conversation she would avoid at all costs, and it pained Dawn, because as mad as she had been at Faith, still was sometimes, she knew that it must hurt the brunette, even if she would never admit it, probably not even to herself. 

When they finally got home, of course Buffy was waiting at the door, hands on her hips, all self-righteous, and a pissed-off look on her face.   
Dawn looked at Faith apologetically, and thanked her quietly before running past her sister.

For all the good things that had been happening the past few months with the Scoobies, Faith knew that one of them would never truly be able to forgive her, and she was currently standing in front of her, with a look that could probably kill, that seemed like it wanted to kill.  
As used to it as she was, Faith still felt the need to straighten her posture and look defiantly at the blonde.  
« What the hell do you think you’re doing, Faith ? »  
« Hum, getting home? »  
Obviously, playing smart-ass wasn’t the way to go with it and it only infuriated Buffy more.  
« You’ll never change, will you? Everything is just some big joke to you ! » Faith didn’t get the chance to answer before Buffy turned to enter the house, throwing over her shoulder « Your stupid reformed act may have worked with Willow and Xander, but I’m not stupid. Stay away from my sister » and with that she was gone, leaving Faith uncomfortably mad. She hopped on her bike and sped away.


	2. Chapter 2

She came back in time for her morning class a couple of days later. Being responsible sucked if you asked her. She tried to get to her room inconspicuously, but of course Willow was waiting for her, two cups in hand and a frown on her face.  
« Another fight? » she asked Faith who just shrugged and motioned for her to get inside. It wasn’t the first time she took off for a few days after a fight with Buffy. The Slayer headed for the adjacent bathroom, leaving the door ajar while she undressed for her shower. Willow blushed and turned her head just as Faith was taking her shirt off.  
« The General gave me shit about taking Baby S for a ride. God the kid is in college, she’s not a child anymore ! » She hopped on the shower and had to shout for Willow to be able to hear her. « If you ask me, she needs to get laid »  
Willow chuckled and shook her head, even though Faith couldn’t see her.  
« She’s just stressed, with Giles leaving and all. She thought she would be able to have a normal life, and here she is, having to take care of 20 baby slayers. It has to be stressful ».  
She heard Faith scoff but the brunette didn’t say anything else until she was done showering, and got out of the bathroom only wrapped in a really short towel. Never the modest, she crossed the room and bended to look for some clean clothes. Willow almost spited her tea and turned as red as her hair.  
« Goodness, Faith ! »  
« Wha’? » she asked without turning around.  
« Have you ever heard about the word ‘modesty’? »  
Faith picked some underwear, tight jeans and a black tee shirt before turning to Willow. Seeing her crimson face, she just laughed and went back to the bathroom, saying « no such thing, Red ».  
Willow waited for Faith to come back, fully dressed, thank God, before handing her her coffee. « Maybe you two just need to talk… like we did? »  
The brunette seemed to think about it while sipping her lukewarm beverage before answering « I’d rather have to fight a nest of vampires with my bare hands ».  
« Well, knowing you, it doesn’t seem that bad » the witch smiled.  
« Then, I’d rather braid your hair and do you nails, better? »  
Willow laughed again and decided to let it go. The slayers were both too stubborn for their own good, and she thought it’d be better not to interfere.

They both chatted lightly, about what Faith had been up too during her short escape, about what happened in the castle in the meantime, walking towards Faith’s first class of the day.  
When they got there, Buffy was already in, explaining the dozen slayers in training how to block an attack from behind.   
Willow stoped abruptly in her tracks and glanced anxiously at Faith. The brunette sighed, bracing herself for yet another fight. It was too damn early to already be throwing jabs with the blonde, but she didn’t have that many options. She could turn her heels and go back to her room, but then, she would prove Buffy right by running from her responsibilities. Or she could go in, and inevitably get into another argument with her sister slayer. She looked over at Willow, silently pleading with the red-head for a miraculous solution, who only shrugged apologetically. Faith sighed and got in the room.  
Buffy glared at her but told the girls to keep going. She walked through the room, correcting positions in her way, and gently giving instructions for the next exercise. Faith didn’t know how to cut in without creating a new disaster.   
She approached Naomi, one of the youngest slayer in her class, who was about 15, and who currently stood alone in the corner of the room.  
« Hey Nams, why aren’t you doing your exercise? » she gently asked the young blonde.  
« Nobody ever wants to train with me… I’m a shitty Slayer miss Lehane » the girl casted her eyes down and sighed heavily.   
« There’s no shitty Slayer Nams, just shitty states of mind and please, I beg you, stop callin’ me miss Lehane ! » she laughed and shuffled her hair which earned her a slap in the hand and a cute smile. The girl reminded her of Dawn and she couldn’t help but want to make things easier for her. « Ok, get in position, I’ll do the exercise with you. »  
« Really? » she smiled big and Faith chuckled.   
But she didn’t get the chance to answer her before she felt a hand roughly gripping her arm and dragging her outside of the room.  
« First you show up late, and now you’re hitting on your students ! Really Faith ? »  
« Wha’? What the fuck are ya talkin’ about now? She didn’t have a partner ! » Faith answered bewildered. « And why the hell are ya in my class anyway? » So that was it, they were going to fight. Obviously there was no way to avoid it.  
« Taking over because you apparently can’t read a watch ! »  
« I don’t own a - «   
« I don’t care Faith ! I just don’t care about any of you excuses, I don’t care what you do or who you do on your free time, but this is a classroom, not some night club where you show up fashionably late and start hitting on the first thing with a heartbeat ! »  
« Yeah, well, that’s higher standards than some people »  
She saw the punch coming before Buffy even lifted her hand but she didn’t move, didn’t flinch, and barely reacted when the blonde’s fist made contact with her jaw. She just glared at her and waited. She knew she would get this reaction, but she just couldn’t help herself, Buffy just knew how to push her buttons in all the wrong ways.  
« Get out of my face » Buffy said coldly.  
Faith inhaled sharply and counted to ten in her head before answering.  
« This is my class, and it’ll be all yours in two hours. Until then, she gestured down the hall to Buffy and got back in the room, the beginning of a shiner throbbing under her skin. She sighed and resumed her class, silencing any question in regards of what happened and what was obviously witnessed by the girls.

The day was slow, her classes dragged on and the only thing on her mind was Buffy. Not that it wasn’t a common thing for her, the blonde had occupied her mind for the last 4 years or so, consuming her thoughts in all the wrong ways. She was a bitch. A stuck-up tight ass with no sense of fun - as she once told Spike while wearing Buffy’s skin. A self-righteous bitch who thought she was better than anyone, better than Faith. She was trying to do things right, but that was never enough for the golden girl. No matter what good things Faith tried to do, Buffy still saw her as the psycho slayer, the girl she could use whenever she needed to, and throw away as soon as she pleased. Nothing had changed much from when they first met. She still felt like Buffy’s sidekick. Except that now, Faith seemed to be closer to the Scoobies than Buffy herself. She never saw the group together anymore, aside from the meetings, and the only one Buffy seemed to really talk with was Dawn.   
Faith could understand. After everyone threw her out of her own house, the blonde had felt betrayed by the people she’d cared about and protected for all those years. That made sense. Dawn was her baby sister, she could forgive her, but as for the others, Faith could tell that the last few days in Sunnydale had created a void in their relationship, and none of them seemed to know how to fill it.  
Maybe it was why Willow and Xander had finally given her a chance. Because they weren’t as close to the person she’d tried so hard to destroy as they once had been. No matter the reason, she wouldn’t dwell on it, she was happy it’d happened. But as much as Buffy drove her nuts, she could see that she wasn’t happy.   
She wasn’t there for the all ‘return from heaven’ thing, but Xander told her how Buffy felt empty when she came back. Faith had a feeling that Buffy was going through something similar now. Was it because of Spike? The two were close, and even Faith herself had felt kinda sad when he had died, for good that is. For a vampire, he was pretty cool, Buffy sure knew how to find the funniest blood-suckers - if funny could ever be used to describe Angel.   
Maybe it was, as Willow had said, the stress from this new setup. Or maybe Faith really drove her nuts too. The feeling being mutual wasn’t anything more than the expected. But Faith also knew how to fool herself, she’d rather think that she hated Buffy as much as Buffy hated her than to question why the blonde was always on her mind. She was on her mind because she pissed her off, not because Faith cared about her. She scoffed just thinking of that and entered her room. 

As soon as she heard the door, Willow got up from her bed and shifted uncomfortably under Faith’s questioning look.  
« Are you going to leave? » the witch asked and her voice sounded vulnerable.  
« What? No, where d’ya want me to go? And why would I leave anyway? »  
Willow paused for a moment before sitting back on the bed. Faith sighed and sat next to her, gently bumping their shoulders to encourage an answer.  
« Everyone is talking about your fight with Buffy this morning… did she really hit you? » Of course the question seemed stupid, as Willow could see the remaining of a black-eye, fast fading thanks to slayer healing.  
« Don’t worry your pretty head over it, Red. That’s nothing I can’t handle. » She paused, gathering her thoughts. Sometimes, she felt like she could tell Willow anything without the fear of being judged. Perks of both being murderers, she thought. But that was a different matter. Still, who better than her best friend was supposed to know Buffy? So she took a chance and tried to explain the problem. « I… God she just knows how to push me over the edge ya know? I try not to let what she says affect me, but then she comes back for more, she’s like a dog with some stupid bone, she keeps pushing until I snap. And I can see that she’s not really herself right now, so I try to just ignore her and go on with my life, but she’s at every damn corner waiting to jump on my ass for the littlest stupid thing. Argh ! She just drives me crazy ! »  
Willow stared at her with an incredulous look before composing herself enough to talk.  
« Wow… I mean, I know you two have a complicated relationship -«   
« That’s a fucking understatement ! » Faith scoffed and shook her head.  
« Yeah, well, what really surprises me is you noticing she’s not really been our good old Buffy lately » the witch added quietly, not wanting for Faith to close off at hearing her words.  
Again the brunette sighed and put her head in her hands, scrubbing at her face as if it could make everything disappear.   
She spent almost 3 years in jail, trying to understand how she could have gone berserk like she had, how she could have went against everything she was built to be. She was the Slayer, the line ran through her, not Buffy, but she had betrayed her calling, betrayed the only other person who knew how it felt. Now they were thousands and she still felt like Buffy was the only one who could understand it all. Well, maybe not all, they had lives so different, Buffy with the house, the loving mom and sister, the alive watcher, the friends… Faith only had a fucked-up childhood, with an absent father, a drunk mother, a dead watcher, and no one to really care if she had food on her plate or a roof atop of her head.  
But she couldn’t think like this anymore, that’s what had been the catharsis of her doom the first time around. Willow had been right back then, she still remembered her harsh words - ‘boohoo, poor you, you know, you had a lot more in your life than some people, you had friends like Buffy’, ‘now you’re nothing, you’re just a big selfish worthless waste’ - while she was holding a knife to her throat… Let’s be honest, she never had Buffy as her friend. But she couldn’t think about that either, especially with said Willow sitting next to her and now looking particularly worried.  
« I never apologized to you… for threatening you with a knife to your throat I mean… »  
« Huh? I don’t even want to know how your brain came to that right now » she smiled softly, putting her hand on Faith’s knee, which was bouncing up and down. « Faith, I’m glad you’re apologizing and all, don’t think otherwise. But I forgave you a while ago. Maybe I forgave you on the ride from LA to Sunnydale all those months ago. Maybe it was somewhere between then and now, I don’t know… What I do know is that I did. We were kids back then, do you remember what you told me? I hurt you so you hurt me back, and something about you being more efficient » she chuckled to let Faith know there were no hard feelings anymore. « Maybe that’s what it was about. We were all hurt, and we kept on hurting each other instead or reaching out… I said some pretty harsh things too… And I know that it’s a bit different with Buffy… I don’t know why specifically, but I can feel it is. I thought that things were better when we went against the First? » She made it sound like a question, one that Faith had been asking herself for months now.  
« You and me both, Red… » she sighed, getting up and pacing the room. « Things weren’t especially peachy, but we’d reached some kind of… truce? An understanding? Man, I don’t know… but then, after we got here, she started pulling away again, she mostly ignored me, which kinda stung, but things weren’t so bad. Now, we can’t even be in the same room without her wanting to rip my head off »  
« Did something happen for it to get like that? » Willow inquired, eyebrows furrowed and her bottom lip trapped between her teeth.  
« Not really… I mean, we had a fight after Robin left. Can’t really remember what about. But then, she said something about me not being able to commit to anything or whatever, so I said something about her not being able to keep anyone around, then shit met the fan, as usual. Bad habits die hard and we just fell back to them I guess… » she sat back and chanced a glance at Willow who didn’t look really surprised by the harsh words exchanged.  
« Yeah, it is kind of how it works between you two… Kennedy says you should just… » Willow shook her head and laughed.  
« Yeah, she told me ‘you two should just fuck already, all this sexual tension is driving us nuts’. Your girl must have some serious problem up there ! » she laughed and twirled her finger against her temple in the international sign for crazy.  
Willow smiled a strange smile and curiously peered at Faith, fixing her with a contemplating look. Then suddenly « Oh my goodness ! You so would - yes ! How could I not see this before? All those times when Kennedy would say something like that I would just laugh it off, because that’s Ken, she just sees lesbians everywhere and all is sex for her ! » She blushed but didn’t stop. « But I can see it too now! You do want to have sex with Buffy ! » She shouted and Faith clamped a hand against her mouth.  
« Would you shut it, Red ! First, please, as if ! She infuriates me at least as much as I do her. Second, have you looked at me lately ? I can have basically anyone I want, why would I go for stuck-up-bitchy-annoying Buffy ? And third, we hate each other, there’s no sexual tension or whatever ! There’s tension ok, just not the sexual kind. » She took a deep breath when she was finally done and retrieved her hand. Willow was grinning like a fool and she sighed. « Red, seriously, drop it. »  
« Ok, ok, but can you at least be honest with me if I ask you just a little question? » she was still grinning and Faith couldn’t help but breath a quiet laugh.  
« Fine, shoot »  
« Have you ever thought about it?

Had she? She didn’t need to think to know the answer. Of course she had. When she first saw Buffy in that dark alley behind the Bronze. When they patrolled together, all synchronized and shit. When she asked Buffy to that stupid dance. When she fought her because of fucking Gwendolyn Post. When she went to her place for Christmas. When she had her tied up in Angel’s mansion. When she staked Trick on the docks and Buffy protected her from the fallen box. Even when they were fighting at her apartment, before their relationship took a more dramatic turn of events. And so many times after that. But it didn’t mean anything. Sex was pretty much all that Faith thought about, aside from slaying. It didn’t mean shit.

« It doesn’t mean shit » she repeated the words she was trying to convince herself with and got up again. « Sex is just sex, Red. I’d probably want to do you if it wasn’t for Ken » she winked, hopping like hell to move the conversation from this touchy subject.  
Of course, Willow was having none of that and tugged at her sleeve for Faith to sit back down. The brunette avoided her eyes, feeling trapped and not liking the feeling at all. Why was she even staying and having this conversation with the witch. That was the last thing she wanted but she couldn’t seem to gather the will to say so and throw her out of the room, or at least kindly ask her to leave, which was the person she was now trying to be.  
« Don’t try the flirty thingy to get out of this missy! »   
What was with this people and the word missy ? God, she felt like she was being reprimanded by some old teacher - and even Giles had never called her ‘missy’ !  
« Ok, fine. I’m gonna say this fast, and only once, and after that, you swear we’ll never talk about it again. Deal? »  
Willow grinned and nodded vehemently, showing Faith her pinky finger. The slayer raised her eyebrows then furrowed them, not moving an inch.  
« That’s how you pinky-promise ! Goddess, Faith, I have so much to teach you ! » Willow teased, grabbing Faith’s hand and linking their pinky fingers together.  
Faith shook her head and closed her eyes. She wasn’t sure if she could look at Willow while saying this. She hadn’t even acknowledged this words in her own head, and yet, she was about to say them aloud, for the first - and let’s hope the last - time ever. She took a deep breath, as baring herself from physical pain.  
« I don’t hate B. I never hated her. I sometimes wish things were different, but wishing doesn’t change shit. So that’s how things are. Gotta do with it. I’m gonna try to apologize for this morning’s shit, and then we can go back to ignoring each other, which is the highest of how our relationship could ever go »  
Faith didn’t want to look up and see pity, or even compassion or understanding, because admitting it aloud was already too much. She never minded people thinking she hated the head Slayer. She even encouraged it. But admitting it was all an act made her feel vulnerable, and that was a feeling the brunette didn’t do well with.  
But Willow didn’t say anything. She didn’t touch Faith - which was almost what the Bostonian was expecting - neither did she move. She just waited for Faith to be able to breathe normally again, and to look at her.  
When she did, Willow was trying her best to keep her expression neutral.  
« A part of me wants to tell you to say those words to Buffy, that she needs to hear them probably almost as much as you need to say them to her. But another part of me has this uncontrollable will to protect you from hurting, because I kinda have a feeling that this simple words are anything but simple for you, and I can’t be sure Buffy would have the reaction I or you hope for. So I’m just going to tell you one thing Faith. One thing you told me and that helped immensely. Whenever you feel the need to talk about Buffy you can still come to me, it’d be kinda cool hearing about her » she winked and smiled at Faith and finally put her hand atop the brunette’s.  
Faith smiled in return, feeling like a weight had finally been taken out of her chest. Until the door burst open and in came a furious Buffy.  
The two girls on the bed jumped - if asked, Faith would absolutely deny she even flinched - and got up in a hurry, as if being caught doing something they weren’t supposed to do.  
Buffy glared at Faith before turning to Willow.  
« Will, if you don’t mind, I’d like to talk to Faith, alone ».  
Willow looked unsurely over Faith who just nodded and watched the redhead leave the room, quietly closing the door behind her. Faith didn’t have time to move her eyes from the door before she saw a fury a blonde hair almost in her face.  
« I want you to leave ! » Buffy barked, her voice final.  
« Wha’? » Faith asked dumfounded.  
Her blonde counterpart laughed meanly, still glaring at her, not leaving her any personal space. « Are you really that stupid that you can’t understand a simple phrase? »  
Faith was flabbergasted. This wasn’t their first fight. Hell, try more like the hundredth since they’d gotten to Cleveland, and never Buffy had asked her to leave. Why now? Was this morning the last straw? It didn’t make sense.  
« You want me to leave? » she repeated dumbly, kinda giving Buffy ammo to keep on treating her like some dumbass.   
« Oh, so you do understand when I talk to you ! When I specifically told you this morning to have an appropriate behavior with your students, did you hear me then? »  
« What the fuck are you talking about ? » Faith asked incredulously.  
« Don’t fucking make yourself look even stupider than you are, Faith ! »  
Wow, she’d made the golden girl swore, it must be some heavy shit, except she had absolutely no idea what Buffy was talking about.  
« Ok, we’re both gonna breathe, and try this again » Faith said, trying to calm herself down enough to gather the bottom of the problem. « I did heard you this morning, and again, I repeat myself here, but what the hell, heh? I was just helping Naomi because she didn’t have a fucking partner ! And you say I’m the dumb one ! » Ok, maybe she wasn’t so calm, so sue her ! She was being attacked for no fucking reason here !  
« I saw you in the library, Faith ! » Buffy hissed and roughly pushed her shoulder. « ‘Helping’ Janet with a different kind of exercise ! » Buffy was crimson from her anger and Faith was left with her mouth hanging open. Who the fuck was Janet ? She shook herself out of it but didn’t have time for an answer before Buffy grabbed her by the collar and started to drag her to her wardrobe. « So you’re gonna grab all your stuff and get the hell out of here. I’ve had enough of you and your irresponsible ways. I don’t even know how Giles could think for a second that it would be a good thing to have you here »  
That was enough. Faith harshly freed herself from Buffy’s grasp and pushed the blonde out of her breathing space.  
« Listen crazy-pants, I have no fucking idea who Janet is, and I wasn’t fucking anyone in the library, least of all, one of my students. Now calm the fuck down and explain to me how you think it was me when I was giving classes most of the day and has spent the rest of the time with Red ! »  
« Damn, I saw you Faith ! With your stupid black shirt with the red wings on the back! »  
« I don’t even have the stupid shirt anymore ! I gave it to Ke - fuck… » Faith felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. She wouldn’t do that… would she? No… there must be a misunderstanding. Damn… poor Willow… No, don’t jump to conclusions, she had to make sure of what Buffy saw first. « You sure you saw me in that specific shirt » she asked the blonde who was looking at her like she was batshit crazy.  
« Have you lost you freaking mind? Yes I’m sure! That’s how I recognized you ! A brunette down on her knees wearing that stupid shirt ! »  
Actually, Faith had given the shirt to Kennedy after Buffy had first told her she found it stupid, but that was beyond the point. The brunette was livid. She considered Willow as her friend now, but Kennedy had always treated her like one and the two were close. She sat heavily on the bed, not paying any attention to Buffy, which only infuriated the blonde more.  
« Faith, I’m not joking around ! I want you out of this place ! The girl isn’t even 18 yet for god’s sake ! Can’t you just keep it in your pants long enough to wait and find some skank in a club like you usually do? » Buffy spitted but Faith didn’t have the heart for another fight, so she just said :  
« B ? Please, shut up for a sec » Faith sighed and closed her eyes. What was she supposed to do? Tell Willow everything ? Confront Kennedy ? Not do a thing? Take the blame and let B think it was her? Ask for Buffy’s opinion? The last one made her chuckle humorlessly. The blonde slayer was looking at her like she had sprouted a second head and she was about to burst. Or to slay her maybe. In a quick second, Faith made a decision, one she hopped she wouldn’t regret later.  
« I don’t have the shirt anymore, B »  
« Are you kidding me? Faith, I might be blonde, but I’m not -«   
« Please, don’t make it harder than it already is » Faith said dryly. « That shirt, I gave it to Kennedy… » she almost whispered but she knew Buffy heard her perfectly when she gasped.  
« Faith… please… tell me you’re making this up, trying to get out of this shitty situation by involving Kennedy into it, because the alternative… »  
For once, she wasn’t shouting at Faith, she didn’t even looked mad at her anymore. She let herself fall on the bed next to Faith and closed her eyes.  
« Trust me, I thought about it for like 3 seconds. Taking the blame, telling you it was me… but then, I thought about… »  
« Willow? »  
« Yeah… Fuck, that’s messed up… »  
« How could she do something like that to Will? » Buffy was getting angry again, but for once it wasn’t directed at her, and it was a nice change of feeling, even if the situation was a disaster in the making.  
« Dunno, B. Red’s been kinda down lately, talks a lot about T and all, maybe things aren’t that great ‘tween them » her accent was always rougher when she was stressed, and this was no exception. When Buffy didn’t answer, she turned to see her looking strangely at her.  
« Willow’s been talking about Tara? To you? » she asked incredulously.  
« Hum… yeah? I mean, we’ve been talkin’ and I’ve been like, askin’ her stuff? Look, Red didn’t wanna upset ya with it or whatever, I’m easy to talk with cause I wasn’t there, ya know? » Faith was shifting uncomfortably as Buffy scrutinized her, perplexed by Faith’s admission. When she didn’t get any answer, she asked « What are we gonna do, B? Do we hafta tell Red? Do I go and punch Ken a couple of times? Do we keep it to ourselves? »  
That was the first civil conversation they had in months and it had to be at the expense of Willow. It was officially a shitty day.  
« I… Willow and I, we… we haven’t talked that much lately… I don’t know Faith… do you think it was a one time thing? » she asked and Faith scoffed.  
« Would that make a difference? If that was just this one time, are we just supposed to act like it never happened ? »  
Buffy was at a loss for words. Was that a body swap again? Cause she could have sworn they were supposed to switch their lines. Of course, Faith was right. But breaking Willow’s heart? Just the thought of it made her cringe for different reasons. One being that, as much as things had been strained between them, she still was her best friend and she didn’t want to see her getting hurt. The other being that the last time she got hurt, she tried to end the world. That wasn’t something Buffy could forget just like that. Maybe she should let Faith punch Kennedy, maybe they could even punch the brat together.  
Buffy shook her head at the thought. There was absolutely zero things she wanted to do with the dark slayer, not even something as fun as that.  
« B? » Faith asked softly, afraid to startle the blonde.  
« I don’t know Faith… God, you and your stupid shirt ! »  
« Really now? Are you gonna find a way to make this my fault ? Seriously B, what the hell is your problem with me lately?»  
« Lately? » Buffy scoffed and got up from the bed, putting back the historical distance between them. « Faith, this isn’t ‘lately’, this is a good 4 years of me having problems with you, remember? »  
« But we were good when we fought the First… » Faith said quietly casting her eyes down, and Buffy was taken aback by the sudden vulnerability behind the words. « I… look, I know that you won’t be able to forgive me just like that… but could we just… like try? So, ok, we weren’t supposed to exist at the same time, but we do, actually now, there’s a few thousand of us that do, I know I did some messed up things back then, and I know ya said you’d kill me if I ever apologized to ya, so I’m not going to. But could we try? We’re the original ones. The kids are not that bad, but we both know they’ll never be as good as you or me. What we have is still kinda unique. A lot of shitty things happened, but here we are, we defeated the First Evil together and survived yet another apocalypse. We’re living under the same roof, maybe it’s time we stop that old nemesis shit we got goin’, throwing jabs at one another and see who will hurt the most. I… I don’t want that anymore B. I’m tired of it actually. Willow thinks I should tell ya that, so I’m gonna take a chance and I hope like hell you’re not gonna throw it back at me and make me regret having tried. I don’t hate ya B, never did... and… and I don’t want ya to hate me anymore… So… yeah, that’s pretty much it… »  
Buffy was frozen. Anger was all she knew when it came to Faith, because it was all she allowed herself to feel for her dark counterpart. But this side of Faith, the one she’d tried to reject, tried not to see, was now all but shoved in her face , and she didn’t know how to react. She could just dismiss it and keep on the act they had going, but somehow, she knew that it wouldn’t go like that. If she didn’t act the right way, she had the feeling that Faith would disappear, never to be seen again.   
But wasn’t that what she had wanted all along? For Faith to go away? Or was it just easier to fall back into their old mannerisms, using Faith to let out all the anger, the rage she felt within herself since the fall of Sunnydale? The brunette never let her down when it came to a good fight, whether it was with their fists or with their words, and Buffy had to admit that she had needed it. She needed someone who made her feel something, even if it was hate. But it wasn’t, she could try to fool herself all she wanted, but it had never been hate.  
Was she using Faith like she had Spike? Of course, it was different, much different ! There was no violent and obscene amounts of sex involved… Buffy shook the thought out of her head as soon as it entered it. What the hell was she thinking about?   
She had to give an answer, and she had to give it now, because Faith was already getting up, grabbing a duffel bag on her way to her wardrobe.  
Buffy rolled her eyes at her dramatic behavior and sighed.  
« I don’t wanna fight either, Faith… I just… sometimes I need it and you never disappoint? I shouldn’t have done that, especially considering our history… I… I don’t want us hating each other either… » she said softly, and Faith turned to look at her, to try and see how honest she was being. She seemed satisfied with what she saw because she put her bag back on the floor and ran her fingers through her long and curvy brown hair.   
« So now what? »  
They looked at each other, neither of them knowing the answer to that question, whether regarding Willow’s matters, or their own.


	3. Chapter 3

They parted ways with nothing more than a silent agreement to talk later, Buffy having a night class waiting.   
When Faith was alone again, she let herself fall head first on the bed, groaning in her pillow. When she’d woken up this morning, that’s not the way she thought her day would go. She laughed to herself thinking about the discussion she’s just had with the blonde. That was so typical. Buffy jumping to her own conclusions without any proof. In her eyes, Faith always was the bad guy, or gal, or whatever. But they managed to have a somewhat civil conversation, and even agreed to stop hating each other, so that was of the good right? That’s what Faith had secretly wanted for years now, for them to find a common ground and try to work out their differences. She could see where Buffy was coming from, she herself couldn’t decide most days if she wanted to punch the head Slayer or try to make things right with her. They weren’t used to be ok, they had only been for a really short amount of time in the very beginning, and even then, things were… full of weird tension and mixed signals. But they were adults now, they could make it right, couldn’t they?

She heard a soft knock and lifted her head towards the door. Xander had just his head showing at the door, a cringe on his face at what she guessed was the remainders of her fight with Buffy showing on her face.  
« Com’on, the path is clear » she smiled and he joined her on the bed.  
« I was kinda afraid you were lying in a pool of your own blood » he smiled sheepishly and she rolled her eyes in response.  
« B couldn’t take me even if she tried, and boy does she try sometimes ! »  
« So… you’re ok? You’re not about to hop on your bike never to be seen again? »  
If she didn’t know any better - and maybe she didn’t - she would think that Willow and him didn’t want to see her leave.  
She gently swatted his arm and pushed him down so he could lay next to her.  
« God, Faith, if we’re about to cuddle, I think I’m gonna pass out ! » she burst out laughing and pinched his ribs, making him jump and shriek.   
« I don’t cuddle Cyclops ! I may have changed, but let’s not push it, ‘k? I’m just comfy right now and I don’t wanna have to lift my head to talk to ya »  
He smiled and got comfortable next to her. They stayed silent for a few minutes before he talked again.  
« Do you think Buffy is still mad at us for the all ganging on her? » he asked quietly and she turned her head to look at him. She thought about it for a good minute before answering honestly.  
« Yeah, probably… but she’ll get over it. Things have been harsh lately. You’re kinda in a limbo right now, you’re in speaking terms, but neither of you are really talking. You should do something together, and try to dissipate the tension, avoiding it isn’t gonna solve anything, man. »  
« When did you get so wise again? » she smiled and he put his arm around her in a half-hug for a few seconds before letting go.  
« Hey, I said no cuddle, remember? » she grinned before closing her eyes and relaxing. It lasted less than 5 minutes before Willow came in the room with an eyebrow raised at their positions.  
« Hey Will, come on, it’s cuddle time with Faith ! » Xander joked, earning him another swat and a groan from the brunette. Willow just laughed and jumped on the bed, making the both of them slightly bounce.  
Faith was sandwiched between the two friends and strangely, she didn’t feel uncomfortable like she had expected. But she did feel guilty, seeing Willow smile and knowing that this smile was bound to shatter when the truth would come out. She sighed and turned around, laying on her back and staring at the ceiling.   
« So… everything ok with Buff’ ? » Willow eventually asked.  
« Meh… we didn’t share blows, so I guess that’s improvement right? I told her… what we talked about… »  
« Really?? » Willow suddenly straightened her posture and gazed intensely at Faith.  
Xander looked confused at his two friends, raising an eyebrow in question.  
« I told her I don’t hate her and that I don’t wanna fight anymore. She just said ok, and that I was just easy to fight with, somethin’ like that. I think… maybe we’re gonna be cool now » Faith shrugged and closed her eyes again, signaling the end of this conversation.  
Xander was astonished but Willow just smiled at him, and they both laid back next to Faith, the bed being big enough to accommodate the three of them . 

When Faith woke up a few hours later, she was confused and disoriented. She felt several bodies against her own, and it didn’t suit well with her. In her almost 21 years of life, she never slept - in a non sexual way- with anyone. Even after her sexy time with Robin, she had gotten up and sat on the chair for the rest of the night, not being able to lay next to him.  
But here she was, with what she counted to be 3 bodies - 3??? - near her.  
She quietly and imperceptibly raised her head to gather her surroundings. She was on her bed, she remembered Willow and Xander staying here, but there was a new addition at the bottom of the bed. Dawn was curled at her feet, using Willow’s calf as a pillow.   
But her breath caught in her throat when she lifted her eyes. Buffy was sitting on the floor facing them up, her stony eyes on them all.   
Faith gulped. How the hell did she manage to find herself in situations like that ? Was it the end of the truce already? Buffy’s gaze was indecipherable, and Faith couldn’t tell if she was pissed, sad, or indifferent. She took a shaky breath and glanced at her left. There was a small gap between Xander and herself. Was it a good idea? Buffy was probably gonna laugh at her, find a new way to humiliate her… to belittle her and drive Faith over the edge once again. But she took the chance, she looked over at Buffy and silently gestured with a movement of her head for her to come lay down with them in the little gap available.   
Buffy seemed to gasp in surprise, but Faith could have imagined it all for it was immediately replaced with a blank look. Faith didn’t flinch or tense and kept her eyes locked on the green ones she could barely make out in the dark of the room.  
And then, a miracle happened. Buffy slowly got up and headed toward the bed. Faith scooted over a little to give her more room, pressing a bit against Willow’s back, and Buffy joined them, Xander groaning a bit but not waking up. Buffy didn’t look at her, she laid her head on Faith’s stomach, the only place where she could, and they both closed their eyes, letting everyone’s breathings lull them into sleep.

-

When Faith’s alarm went off in the morning, it was a small chaos in her bedroom. Everyone was looking around in confusion, a tangle of limbs and covers around them.   
Willow had her head on Faith’s shoulder, Dawn was hugging Willow’s leg and her own legs were spread across Buffy’s. The blonde was encircling Faith’s waist and had Xander’s arm thrown around her. At last, Faith’s head was securely laying under Xander’s chin.  
What a mess, she thought, but couldn’t help but inwardly smile. They’d never be as close as they all were now and it was kinda nice.  
Xander was the first to break the silence, scrubbing his eyes with his sleeve. « Did I die and went to heaven? » he smiled sheepishly and everyone laughed. Even Buffy.   
Willow shook her head, Buffy kissed Dawn’s forehead, Faith lightly punched Xander’s arm and just like that, at least for the time being, they were ok. They all got up and started gathering the few things they left in Faith’s bedroom, making plans for some pool game later and one by one they left the room, leaving only Buffy and Faith awkwardly standing on each side of the bed. 

The brunette cleared her throat and glanced at her sister slayer. Buffy was smiling. At her. Maybe Xander wasn’t the one who died the night before. She discreetly pinched her arm and blew a relieved sighed at the slight pain. Buffy chuckled.  
« Ok, you’re freaking me out. What’s with the creepy smile? » Faith balanced on her feet while straightening her bed.  
« You’re not as much as a tough stuff as I thought. Group cuddling Faith, really? » she shook her head with humor and helped Faith make the bed.  
The brunette was taken aback by the familiarity of the scene, but couldn’t for the life of her understand why.  
She lightly groaned and shrugged at Buffy.   
« Arrh, I told Xander there would be no cuddles, and the next thing I know, I wake up with 4 people spread across me on my bed. That’s definitely not how I’m used to wake up, that’s for sure »  
« Have you ever… » the blonde paused, clearly hesitating to ask whatever was on her mind. Faith waited patiently, one eyebrow raised. « I remember you saying something about never letting anyone stay the night… I was looking for Dawn last night, and ended up in your room. I didn’t know if you were asleep, I lightly knocked but there was no answer so I -«   
« B, that’s ok, really. I don’t bring anyone here, so ya don’t hafta worry about getting in uninvited, I’m not gonna scare ya for life with witnessing some bedroom action. Well… » she thought about it and teasingly added « you do take the chance of seeing me in all my naked glory though » she winked and Buffy felt the blush spread on her face. She turned her face before answering.  
« Anyway, I got in and saw you all sleeping peacefully, I don’t know why, but I stayed. And a couple minutes later you were there, looking at me and… god, I think I haven’t slept that well since forever… What I’m trying to say, and I have to admit that I suck at it, but I want to say thanks, Faith. Things have been strained between all of us, and last night… this morning, being all together, joking and just chatting, it was good, I missed it. So yeah, thanks… »  
Buffy was thanking her. Buffy. Thanking Faith. Maybe she fell into some parallel universe? She discreetly glanced around the room to see if anything was different. But it was all the same. The only difference was a certain blonde in her room, looking at her shyly and uncertainly. Faith cleared her throat again and unconsciously started playing with the ring on her index finger.  
« Uh, yeah, no, sure. No problem. You guys should talk and make peace or whatever. You’re the Scooby gang, ya shouldn’t let some past mistakes get between ya » she shrugged. She avoided Buffy’s eyes and busied herself with finding clothes to wear for the day.  
« Yeah… we shouldn’t let past mistakes get in the way… » Buffy whispered, and somehow, Faith felt that they weren’t talking about the Scoobies anymore. Or maybe it was just wishful thinking. She shook her head before glancing at Buffy.  
« I uh… need to shower. And Willow says I have no modesty or whatever, so, just wanna warn ya, ya can stay but keep in mind what I said about my naked glory » she winked and grinned at Buffy’s new blush.  
That, Faith knew how to do. Flirting, teasing, deflating stuff. It was easier than all the heavy shit with Buffy. And it had the desired effect, Buffy stammered something under her breath and left without a glance back. Faith chuckled and headed to the bathroom for a much needed shower.

-

Faith found all the gang in the common room in the late afternoon. They were all laughing quietly, chatting together around the pool game. It was hard to believe but their night spent all cuddled in a bed seemed to have had miraculous effects. Xander was the first to notice her and he strutted to her with a big grin.   
« Faith, my girl ! We teaming up? »  
« Not fair ! Faith, you’re supposed to be with me ! » Dawn whined, making the others laugh.  
Faith glanced around and her eyes fell on Kennedy, who had her arm wrapped around Willow. She frowned but one look from Buffy and she calmed just a bit. Wrong place, wrong time for that. She took a deep breath and joined everyone.   
« Actually, why don’t you two pair up, I’ll play with Twinkie » she said grinning at Buffy who glared in return.  
If anyone was surprised, they hid it well and the game began, Kennedy and Willow not feeling like playing for now, that left Dawn and Xander against Faith and Buffy.   
Faith should have guessed that Buffy would suck at it, but it was worse than what she would have thought. She couldn’t even aim the white ball with her stick.  
« Ok, seriously B, how can you aim a stake through the heart with your damn eyes closed and can’t manage to touch that stupid ball » Faith growled throwing her arms in the air.   
« This is a stupid game ! And a stupid way to hold this thing ! » the blonde whined, avoiding Faith’s incredulous look.  
« Ok, ok, fine, here, com’ here. » She nervously got behind Buffy, holding the stick around the other slayer, instructing for her how to hold it. She glared at Willow who was wiggling her eyebrows at her and focused on Buffy. She tried hard to ignore the way the blonde’s hair caressed her face, how she smelled of fruity shampoo and vanilla body wash.   
« What now? » Buffy asked exasperated.  
« Now, you put the stick in front of the white ball and aim for the ball you wanna put in the hole. See the red one ? We’re gonna go for this one, and try to put it the right corner, ‘k? » Faith’s voice got even huskier than usual and she cleared her throat lightly, trying to defuse any awkwardness.  
Buffy slightly turned her head to look at her and their faces were barely a breath apart. They both tensed up and froze for a few seconds before Buffy nodded and concentrated her gaze on the game again.  
She took a deep breath, signaled she was ready and Faith let go on the stick, but stayed in her position behind Buffy. The older Summers girl took her aim and hit the ball, which sent the red one in the right corner hole, just as Faith had instructed.  
« Yay ! » she jumped and briefly hugged Faith who stood immobile, caught off guard. They shared a brief uneasy smile and avoided the other one’s eyes.  
The game kept going and Faith took extra care of staying as far as Buffy as she could. Eventually, they lost, but not by much and the brunette patted Buffy’s back.  
« Ya did good, next time we’ll crush them » she winked and went to sit with Willow, while Kennedy took her place and Andrew, who just arrived, replaced Buffy. The blonde kept on watching the game, standing next to Xander.  
« Ya ok, Red? » Faith softly asked while sipping a Coke and grimaced at the taste. Buffy walked to her and switched their cups, smiling sheepishly. That girl and her damn diet cokes.  
Willow smiled at the scene but didn’t comment on it.  
« I am, thanks Faith. What about you? Did you have a good night of sleep? » she grinned and Faith just stuck out her tongue in an uncharacteristically manner. Willow just laughed some more.   
A few students entered the common room, chatting about whatever, and Faith felt Buffy tensing. Their bond was weird if you asked Faith. She felt it strongly during her first weeks in Sunnydale. It had scared her and entranced her at the same time. But the more she got away from her calling, the less she felt it. When she was in prison, it was a quiet and low humming deep inside, like some reassurance that she was on the right path. But then, one day all of a sudden it had stoped. She had felt like some part of her had died when Buffy did. Nobody cared to say anything to her, but they didn’t need to. She felt it like it had happened to her, deep in her core. That was the one and only time she allowed the tears to fall while being locked up.   
147 days later the same low humming came back one night. She was laying on her bed, staring at the ceiling when she felt it. She felt like she could breathe again, it took her by surprise, the most beautiful and amazing surprise, the kind you wait for all year before finding it under a beautifully decorated tree on Christmas morning. Not that she knew of that kinda things, but that’s what she had always imagined. Just like that, Buffy was back, and so was their bond. She had no idea if the other slayer felt it too. She never asked.   
Anyway, whenever Buffy had some strong feeling, Faith could feel it under her skin as if it was her own. Usually, it was anger, disgust, contempt, all directed at her. But right now, she could feel she wasn’t the one on the receive end of it.   
She furrowed her brows trying to decipher who could be the cause of such strong emotions. She looked over at the new group on the room and caught Naomi smiling at her and gently waving. She waved back with a little smile of her own. Was it because of Naomi ? Was Buffy still going with that crazy idea that Faith was hooking up with the kid ? That was ridiculous, the girl was cute but she was like 15 for fuck’s sake !   
She didn’t have time to dwell on it before Buffy was roughly grabbing her arm and taking her away from hearing shot.   
“Truce over?” Faith sighed and Buffy just furrowed her brows in question.   
“What? No, why d’you say that?”  
“Uh, ‘cause you’re manhandling me like I kicked your puppy?”  
Buffy looked at the arm she was still holding quite forcefully and Faith raised a brow. The blonde seemed a bit self conscious but released Faith and shrugged.   
“I guess that’s just how I’m used to be with you?” Faith smirked but didn’t comment. “Anyway, see that girl over there, with short brown hair and the sassy attitude?”  
Faith considered the group and noticed the girl in question.   
“Not my type B. And why the hell are you checking out the baby slayers ? I thought we weren’t supposed to do that?”  
Buffy slapped her behind the head and Faith watched her incredulously.   
“God Faith ! You’re an ass ! That’s Janet ! And look at Kennedy almost drooling over her ! Willow is still in the room for God’s sake!”  
Faith’s eyes narrowed and she felt a new wave of anger flow through her. She quite didn’t care if it was Buffy’s or her own.   
She took a step but Buffy stoped her - this time with a more gentler hand on her shoulder and shook her head.   
“Don’t. We can’t do that to Willow now, not with everyone around.” She sighed and Faith noticed she hadn’t withdrew her hand. It felt strangely warm and she could feel Buffy’s thumb on her bare skin where her shoulder met her neck. She suppressed a shiver and gawked at Kennedy. The New-Yorker was unabashedly checking out the young slayer.   
“I’m so gonna kick her ass!” Faith grunted. Buffy’s eyes softened and she seemed to realize where her hand still was because she abruptly moved it back at her side.   
“I thought she was your friend?”  
“So is Red ! And that is just plain asshole behavior. She coulda just broken up with Red first, instead of being a jackass and breaking her heart”   
Buffy seemed surprised and did nothing to hide it.   
“For someone who could usually care less about other people’s feelings, you sure are acting passionate about this”  
“What the hell are ya talking abou’ ? Red’s been through enough as it is. Just don’t wanna see her go down again...” Faith ran her hand through her hair in irritation. “We were never friends before. She hated me and I kinda gave her lotta reasons to do so. But... things are different now. And as much as I like Ken, she’s acting like some skank-shit right now. We can’t let that keep going B.”  
Buffy exhaled and nodded. It was a strange sight to see, Faith getting upset because Willow could get emotionally hurt, but inwardly she was glad. Maybe they could try this civil thing out after all. It seemed to work pretty well for now. The problem with Faith was that it usually didn’t last. She shook the thought away and asked Faith what their plan should be.   
“Well, if you’re ok with it, I’m gonna manhandle Ken a bit myself, and tell her to shut her mouth about what she did and just gently let Willow down?” Faith asked unsurely.  
“So we lie to Will about what we know? What I saw?”  
“Man I don’t know B... does she really have to know the whole story?”  
“What if it was just a one time thing and Kennedy wants to make it better with Will?”  
“Really? With the way she’s looking at the girl?”  
Buffy didn’t answered and reluctantly nodded again. She left Faith there and went back to sit with Willow. 

Damn, how did I get involved in so much drama, Faith thought before joining the others at the pool table. She whispered at Kennedy to go outside for a smoke and the brunette nodded not suspecting a thing. 

When they were alone outside, Faith took a deep breath and didn’t beat around the bush.   
“What the fuck were you thinking about?” She hissed.   
“What?” Kennedy looked confused and it further infuriated Faith.   
“ Buffy saw you with your head between Janet’s legs you dumbass ! Seriously Ken, what the hell? What about Red?”  
Kennedy at least had the decency to look embarrassed.   
“I know...”  
“You know?” Faith told incredulously. “You fuckin’ know shit Ken! Damn... how long?”  
Kennedy casted her head down and Faith had a feeling she didn’t want to know the answer.   
“You’re gonna end it, and end it quick Ken”  
“I will, I am. I don’t know, maybe it’s a slayer thing, Faith, it was like I couldn’t help it...”  
“Don’t wanna hear your bullshit. And I wasn’t talking about what’s-her-face. I was talking about Red. End it with her, and she doesn’t need to hear about it. Feed her whatever bullshit you want, but don’t fucking hurt her!”  
“What? No! I don’t want to break-up with Will. I made a mistake ok? I’m gonna fix it. Things have been complicated between us lately but we’ll make it through...”  
“Ken, you don’t have that many options here. You can be honest with her and try to work things out or you can break up with her and spare her the pain of knowing that you can’t keep it in your pants. Buffy will tell her otherwise”  
“Buffy should mind her own fucking business!” Kennedy replied angrily and Faith matched her tone.   
“It became her fucking business when you fucked a student in the library!” She took a deep breath and paced in front of the other slayer. “Look, you and me, we’re friends. You didn’t treat me like shit back in Sunny D, and I kinda like ya, in an annoying little sister kinda way. But you fucked up, and if life has taught me anything, it’s that there’s always consequences to face. Just make things right, one way or another.”  
She squeezed her shoulder before going back inside and headed straight to her room. She hoped like hell she wouldn’t have company tonight.


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning was nothing like the previous one. Instead of warm bodies and light chatting, Faith was awaken by shouting coming from down the hall and she didn’t need to hear what was being said to know that Kennedy finally made a decision. She scrubbed her face and sat up in her bed. Her door opened and closed quietly and in came Dawn, a sad look on her face.   
“Hey baby S, what’s going on?”  
“Kennedy has been fucking around and Willow is about to turn her into a horrible toad. At least I hope so” she sighed and laid next to Faith, putting her head down on the slayer’s shoulder. Faith hesitantly stroked her hair, trying to comfort the obviously upset teenager.   
“God I miss Tara so much...” Dawn sighed and Faith felt a few tears soak her shirt. She stayed silent until the door opened again, this time to reveal the other Summers girl.   
“Do you have some room for me?” She asked shyly.   
Faith clearly wasn’t expecting the question but she gestured for the other side of the bed.   
“As you know, my bed can accommodate 5 persons, so I’m sure you can squeeze in” she smiled which earned her a timid one in return.   
“I feel bad for Will” Buffy said when she was sitting next to Faith, arms holding her knees. “What did Kennedy say last night?”  
“Wait, you knew?” Dawn lifted abruptly her head and glared at Faith who elbowed Buffy in return.   
“We discovered it yesterday D. Things were heavy” she told Buffy. “She said she made a mistake and that she didn’t wanna break up with Red. Told her she had to tell her the truth then. I guess that’s what she did... how long have they been going at it for ?”  
Dawn put her head back on her shoulder and shrugged.   
“My room is next to their’s. I guess it started when they woke up... a hour ago maybe...” Buffy answered and laid down next to Faith. The 3 girls were laying silently, their eyes on the ceiling, the loud cries in the corridor the only sounds being heard.   
After a good 10 minutes, Dawn got up and straitened her clothes.   
“I should get going. I have a class at 10. Can I take your car Buff? Don’t feel like riding the bus”  
“Sure” the blonde answered quietly before Dawn left with a sad smile.   
When they were alone in the room, Faith finally realized the weird position they found themselves in. They were lying in a bed, alone. Together. She awkwardly coughed and started to get up but Buffy put her hand on her arm, halting any further movement.   
“Stay... I promise I’m not about to murder you in your sleep” Buffy smiled gently in what she guessed was trying to be reassuring. Faith exhaled and slowly laid back down.   
She couldn’t hear clearly what was being said outside the door, despite her enhanced slayer hearing. But bits of conversation flowed into the room and Faith shut her eyes tight, feeling her body tense up. It just hit a little too close to home. Her whole childhood had been filled with yelling, and beating.  
She felt Buffy’s hand slip in her own lightly and her eyes snapped open. She couldn’t bring herself to turn her head but she could see in her peripheral vision that the blonde’s eyes were shut.   
She just squeezed Buffy’s hand, happy that for once, they seemed ok. And that’s how they both fell back asleep. 

-

When her alarm went off a couple of hours later, Faith opened her eyes to a blurry of blonde hair. She was confused for a second before she felt the body next to hers shift to reveal the peaceful and sleeping face of Buffy, head spread on Faith’s chest, arms and legs intertwined with her own limbs. She stoped breathing altogether, frozen in spot. What the…? Faith couldn’t figure out how they ended up like that. From holding hands to basically cuddling. God, she didn’t cuddle. That just wasn’t her. She let out a shaky breath, trying to move without waking the blonde up. The yelling had stopped outside and the only sounds she heard was her labored breathing and Buffy’s peaceful one.  
She tried to disentangle herself from Buffy’s grip, but the older girl was having none of it, she tightened her hold and huddled against Faith some more.  
Ok, this was clearly not going as planed.   
Faith didn’t know what was scaring her more, her own reaction or the one Buffy would without a doubt have when she’d wake up.  
With a sigh and bracing herself for a freak out show, she gently shook Buffy’s shoulder.  
« Hey sleepyhead, classes will start soon, wakey wakey… »  
Wakey wakey? God, what was wrong with her.  
Buffy barely stirred, causing Faith to sigh again. Without thinking the brunette stroked the wild blonde hair covering her torso, her thumb lightly brushing Buffy’s jaw. She thought she saw a slight smile appear on Buffy’s face but the head slayer didn’t move.  
« B, come on… we have to get up, and we should probably check on Red… »  
« Hum… comfy… » was the only whispered answer she got. Well, at least Buffy was slowly coming back from slumber.   
« Not that I’m not enjoying this sudden side of our new slightly-kinda-maybe beginning of what could one day sorta be of the friendshippy side of things, but… B, that’s me, Faith, who you are currently cuddling with » Argh, she sounded like Willow. She inwardly groaned but her words had the desired effect. Buffy shoot up from the bed and ended with her ass on the floor. Faith stiffened a laugh and raised a brow.  
« Wow, now that was a skilled move ! No wonder you’re the head slayer » she winked and got the usual Buffy signature glare, the one she probably mastered thanks to the brunette.   
Buffy glanced at the clock on the nightstand and swiftly raised from the floor.  
« Damn I’m late ! Thanks for the… whatever. Later ! » and just like that she was gone.  
And Faith knew she was just avoiding her. How she knew? Two reasons. First one being that Buffy taught the class after Faith’s one, so there clearly was no rush. Second reason being that the blonde carefully avoided her for the rest of the week.

-

Willow was a wreck. She took residence in Faith’s room, who chose to use the small couch situated under her window for the time being. Not that she had a problem with sharing her bed, but enough awkwardness had occurred to last her a lifetime. Why the witch didn’t go to Buffy she had no idea, and she couldn’t really ask, because that would ensure a conversation she so didn’t want to have.  
Willow had tearily related what happened with Kennedy. The slayer had confessed her infidelity and begged for Willow’s forgiveness. But the redhead said she just couldn’t. That maybe they were never meant to be.   
Dawn was busy with school, Buffy was nowhere to be seen, so that left Xander and Faith to try and cheer up the broken witch. It was definitely no easy task.

When the school was finally over for the week, Faith asked Xander to come patrolling with her.  
« I thought the week would never end » he groaned, swirling a stake in his hand.  
« Man, tell me about it! The all thing is so fucked up. I wish I could do something for Red. She’s so heartbreaking with the pout and the teary eyes… »  
Xander smiled kindly and nudged her.   
« But she’s strong… like an amazon… that’s what Tara used to tell her… » his smile became sad and he wiped the beginning of a tear.  
« Tara… » Faith whispered. « How come she couldn’t be brought back like B was? » she asked curiously.  
« Something about her death being natural or whatever » he shrugged. « She was killed with a gun by a human » His voice took an edgy note and she just nodded.  
« Hum… »  
« What? »  
« Nothing, just, Tara was her soulmate. It sucks that she’s been taken away » Faith released a heavy breath and entered their first cemetery.   
The night was mostly calm, just a group of three vamps and a couple of newbies that she let Xander stake. He smiled proudly at her and she winked and gave him the thumbs up, chuckling under her breath at his childlikeness.   
On their way home, she couldn’t take Willow out of her mind, or more specifically, Tara. Maybe if she’d been there… maybe if she hadn’t fucked up so bad in the past, she would have been with them and could have prevented Tara’s death. There were so many things she could have done differently… Sometimes, it was all that was on her mind. Changing the past, changing her rocky path for a righter one. She wished… No, don’t wish, not on a Hellmouth, she shook her head as if pushing the thought away. Angel was right, wishing didn’t change shit. Nothing could ever change what happened.  
« What’s on your mind, oh former dark one? » Xander grinned and she pushed him a little.  
« Call me that one more time and I’ll show you darkness, Cyclops! »  
He laughed but shut up when she glared at him.   
« Kidding ! Anyway, I know it’s not just the Willow stuff. How are things with the Buff? » he chuckled and she shook her head at him.  
« God Harris, you’re something else ! »  
« Which so doesn’t answer the question »  
« I don’t know man… Haven’t seen her for a few days. You know how it is with us, one step forward… »  
« And some miles back? »  
« Right » Faith kicked a rock and heard a glass shatter in the distance. « Oops »  
« She said the both of you were fine, though »  
« Really ? When? » she glanced at him, trying not to appear too eager.  
« This morning. We had breakfast together. She said you too had found some middle ground and that she was happy you did. And with the Buffster, that could mean anything, really. But she did make it sound like a good thing, so… that brings the next question : why does she seem ok and you don’t ? »  
« I’m ok ! » she exclaimed. « If she’s cool then we’re cool! » He looked at her dubiously but didn’t push matters.

They got home and separated ways in the hall, Faith feeling hungry, and Xander feeling in a need for a shower.   
She started to fix herself a sandwich when she felt like little needles were dancing on her neck, signaling the presence of a slayer. Not any slayer, this was her Buffy spidy sense on high alert. She didn’t turn around though, acting like she didn’t know she was being watched.  
« Could I hope for a sandwich or are you gonna eat it all? » Buffy teased from the entrance of the kitchen.  
When Faith turned around, she held a plate with two sandwiches and handed one to Buffy.  
“So... you done ignoring me ?” Faith asked casually before taking a bite of her food.   
“I wasn’t av- it was a crazy week, ok? It’s not the first time we haven’t seen each other for a few days. What made you think I was ignoring you?”  
“Well it is the first time since we’ve been on speaking terms, so it kinda felt avoid-y” Buffy snickered and Faith raised a brow. “Wha’?”  
“First, please don’t talk while chewing, that’s all kinds of ew. Second, I think you’ve been spending way too much time with Will. Avoid-y, Faith? Really?” She chuckled and the brunette flushed a bit.   
“Yeah, well, ya got the idea. So... how come?” She inquired, making sure she swallowed before talking.   
“Nothing comes. At least I hope not... but we haven’t had a good challenge in a while, so maybe we should be prepared. God, I just jinxed it, didn’t I?”  
“So you’ve been avoiding me and now you’re avoiding talking about it?” Buffy averted her eyes and busied herself eating her sandwich. “Fine, whatever.”  
Faith started to walk away but a hand on her arm stopped her. She glanced back and Buffy just sighed.   
“I wasn’t avoiding you, per se. I just... I’m not used to us being like that. I didn’t know how you’d react after the other morning...”  
“B, it wasn’t the first time we woke up together in a bed”  
Buffy blushed furiously and took great interest in some thread on her shirt.   
“How do you make everything you say sound dirty?” She eventually said, trying to make it sound like a joke but actually genuinely impressed.   
“Meh, that’s a gift, what can I say ! And I know what you mean, but really, we’re cool. Don’t want things to be awkward for no reasons. Ain’t like we woke up naked or somethin’”  
“Gee, thanks !” Buffy laughed stiffly but relaxed. Faith was right, there was no reason for it to be awkward. Except for the fact that the blonde couldn’t help but think about that morning and the way they woke up together. But it was only because that was weird ! How could they be throwing blows at each other one day, and cuddling a couple of days later ? If Faith wasn’t bothered, she wouldn’t be either, though. She cuddled with Willow all the time, it wasn’t weird. Ok, she didn’t. But she could, so no biggie.   
“You’re right, I overreacted. We’re good. And actually... it’s kind of ... nice, to be civil with you I mean” Buffy smiled, which earned her a full dimpled grin.   
“Well if that’s you being civil, I can’t wait for us to be friends!”  
Faith dodged the spoon thrown in response with a laugh and a wink and left the room, purposely giving an extra sway in her walk. Buffy couldn’t help but chuckle. Yeah, things would be ok. 

-

Buffy had indeed jinxed them and Faith swore under her breath as she fell on her ass from a big purple demon’s blow. The brunette took a glance around her, seeing her blonde counterpart barely managing to hold her own against the second similar demon.   
That had been a long time since they fought side by side. Since the First actually. And it felt good, Faith could feel the blonde’s power coursing through her own veins, and with a swift jump she got back on her feet.   
They didn’t know much about the two demons, aside from the fact that they were about 8 feet tall, purplish, really strong and that they obviously wanted the slayers dead. Nothing really original with that.  
They’d been fighting for what felt like hours without gaining any ground. The brunette launched at big-and-ugly again, trying to take the upper hand, without success. She threw a series a punches and kicks, but she lost her focus for just a second when she heard Buffy yelp. The demon took advantage of it and went for her left side. Faith felt a throbbing pain in her shoulder and when she glanced at it, she saw a deep gash, blood steadily pouring out of it. Well, that’s not good. Her eyes travelled down and another cut, just under her ribs, was heavily bleeding. The demon snarled and jumped at her again. She barely avoided it and used its sudden unsteadiness to wave her sword at its neck, cutting it clean.   
She fell on her knees, exhausted, but saw in the corner of her eyes that the second demon was running away, leaving Buffy grumbling.   
“Really? I wasn’t even tired yet !” The blonde complained, walking toward Faith. “You saw that ? Talk about some big bad ! Running from the fi - Faith? You ok?” She finally asked when she saw the brunette kneeling on the ground, her head down and her breathing labored.  
“Five by five… Maybe three by three. But I’ll live” she lifted her head and gave a weak smile. She saw the worry in Buffy’s eyes and winced. « Do I look that bad? »  
« N-no, you’re right, you’ll live. Come on, let’s get you home and patched-up. »  
Buffy felt a bit shaky, helping Faith up, and threw the brunette’s arm around her neck, instructing the injured slayer to lay on her.  
When they finally got home, Buffy yelled for help, dragging an almost unconscious Faith to the infirmary. The Bostonian was too pale, eyes darting around without focusing. Buffy just then realized how serious her injuries were.  
« Stay with me Faith. Don’t you dare die on me, we’ve just started to get along. We still have things to work out, there’s still things I never got the chance to say, so don’t you dare leave m- us ! If you die, I swear I’ll bring you back just to kill you myself ! » Buffy was on the verge of hysteria and she didn’t even understand why. It felt like something was wrenching her limbs, their slayer connection weakening, and for the first time in a long time, she was scared. Faith couldn’t die, could she? Not like that, not because Buffy dragged her along to confirm some stupid rumors of a couple demons looting mausoleums. Was it some kind of guilt that was tearing at her? Faith was a slayer, she risked her life everyday. They all did. But she was one of the chosen two. She couldn’t die at the hands of some stupid purple demon. Buffy wouldn’t accept it.  
« You almost… sound… like… you care… B » Faith whimpered, grimacing.  
« You’re an idiot » Buffy muttered, holding Faith’s right hand in both her owns, growing impatient at not seeing anyone coming.  
« So… tell me… what you still… have to say to me… »  
« Nuh uh, it doesn’t work like that. First you get better, then I kick your ass for getting hurt, and only after that we’ll see if I feel like talking » Buffy weakly smiled. It seemed that Faith was trying to give a smile of her own, but she was growing weaker by the second. « Will ! » Buffy shouted again.  
« Jeez, B… tune it down… some people are tryin’a rest here. » Faith coughed, blood dripping from her lips. « It doesn’t look… like there’ll be… a happy ending tonight… »  
« Shut up, Faith ! Willow will be here in a sec, she’ll fix you.You’ll be ok, you’ll be ok » she repeated more for herself than for the brunette.  
« Seeing as… I’m pretty sure… you’re not gonna kill… me… right now… I wanna say… -»  
« Shh, Faith, don’t talk, I don’t want to hear it, not now, ‘k? I’ll let you say anything you want as soon as you’re ok again »  
« ‘K, B… » Faith closed her eyes, feeling all the pain and exhaustion take over her body and Buffy felt her heart clench in her chest.  
Fortunately, Willow choose that moment to come barreling through the door, in her pajamas and with eyes red from sleep.  
« Oh my Goodness ! What happened? »  
« Help her, Will, do something ! »  
Faith wasn’t moving anymore, she was barely breathing and Willow ushered Buffy out of the room. The blonde protested and tried to fight her but the witch’s answer didn’t leave room for any argument.  
« You want me to save her, or you want to get in my way? »  
Buffy left the room shaking, her hands bloodied. Faith’s blood. She went to the closest bathroom and scrubbed her hands under burning water, the dark crimson slowly turning into a fading pink until there was nothing more than clear water falling down the sink.   
It triggered too many bad memories. Her hand holding a knife. The knife plunging in Faith’s abdomen, the surprise in the brunette’s eyes. The shock and instant regret in her owns. And the blood… Usually there never was blood when she slayed. But this hadn’t been a slay. It had been a murder. You did it B, you killed me. She didn’t realize she was crying until everything around her was a blur. She shook the memories away, wiping her eyes with her sleeves and went back to pace in front of the infirmary.   
After what felt like hours, Willow came out, quietly closing the door behind her.  
« Is she gonna be ok? » Buffy shakily asked.  
« I… I don’t know Buffy… she lost a lot of blood. I did everything I could. I stopped the bleeding and tried to do a healing spell, but I can’t really know how well it worked. We’ll have to see if- when she wakes up » She paused and took Buffy’s hand in her own. « You can go in if you want. I’m sure she’ll be happy to hear you yell at her when she regains consciousness » She weekly smiled and Buffy squeezed her hand in a thanks before entering the room.  
Seeing Faith laying there, so weak and beaten, took her down memory lane again, to a hospital where she had brushed her lips against the brunette’s forehead, what felt like a lifetime ago. The girl had been in a similar state, one she had put her in. They hurt each other so badly back then, and now, after everything they went through, Buffy only wanted for them to have a chance at being more than enemies. She wanted a chance at friendship, she wanted a chance at getting to know the real Faith, not the scared and angry teenager, but the responsible and likable woman she became, the one her friends and sister saw before she got the chance to. She wanted that chance. She wanted to cuddle with Faith and for it to be awkward in the morning again… She didn’t know where the thought was coming from but she didn’t even want to run from it. Right now, she didn’t care about anything but having Faith wake up.  
So she took a sit in the chair next to the dark-haired slayer, grabbed her hand and waited.


	5. Chapter 5

People came and left all day long the next day. Dawn missed her morning classes to stay with Buffy, bringing her food, and breaking the heavy silence with telling a still unconscious Faith stupid stories about college, and about some guy Buffy had never heard about. But for once, she wasn’t even jealous about the strange bond her baby sister seemed to have with Faith. She remembered how close they were before Faith had gone evil, or at least that’s the memories the monks had put in her head. She just listened to Dawn telling Faith that she was right about whatever advice she’d given her, which made her raise her brows. The dark slayer giving advice to her baby sister, maybe that was the sign of impending doom, she smiled inwardly. 

Xander was next, he kept on talking about some new video game that the brunette would love, and that he couldn’t wait to kick her ass in it. Buffy watched him scratching his eye patch, fighting tears.

« How did you two become so close? » she asked him curiously, rearranging the covers on Faith while he opened the window to let some fresh air in.  
« I don’t really know. One day it was just the two of us here, I was feeling down, thinking about… Anya… and stuff. I couldn’t take the thought out of my mind that she’d been a well-feared demon for thousands of years, and that she’d died trying the fight evil. It made me realize that everyone could change. Even Faith. I know she did horrible things, I haven’t forgotten than she got happy-choky with me but… In the end, she was there, risking her life for us all. And Will tried to end the world but she got better. And … Spike… spent close to two hundred years killing and maiming but, as much as I disliked him, he died a hero, saving us all. So I went to talk to her, asking why she was here with us. You know Faith, she shrugged it off, saying something about the good fight and not having anywhere else to go. But even just with one eye, I could see it all Buff. Maybe we never really looked before, but that day I saw it clear as day. She just wanted to be accepted, to be a part of what we have. So I took a chance, because life’s too short to hold a grudge » he shrugged and sat back next to Faith, squeezing her hand.  
Buffy was taken aback by the whole thing. How come all her friends could so easily get over everything Faith had done, and she still struggled with it every minute of the day? Why did the betrayal felt so much stronger for her than for the others? Was it because of Angel ? Was it because Faith slept with Riley ? Truth was, it wasn’t about a man, no matter which one. It was because they were supposed to be in all of this together, and Faith had bailed. She abandoned her, left her to deal with all the pain, and death by herself, while the brunette just took the easy way out, joining sides with the mayor, because it was easier than to deal with her mistakes.   
Allan Finch had been an accident. Even Buffy knew that. And maybe she hadn’t handled the thing so good, but Faith took it to another level, trying to put the blame on Buffy, then trying to remove Angel’s soul. After that, everything had been a series of bad decisions, the mayor, the professor, Willow’s kidnaping, the poisoned arrow, their fight in Faith’s apartment… Buffy had genuinely hoped for things to get better when Faith had awoken from her coma. But things were never simple with the brunette, and again, it was just angst, and hate, and fighting. The body swap had been the last straw, Buffy had snapped, refusing to hear any apologies, it was just too late back then. But what about now? She desperately wanted for things to get better between them two, yet, every time she thought about getting over their history, a new memory invaded her thoughts, and she just couldn’t shake the fear of Faith betraying her again. How many chances could she give the dark slayer before enough was enough ?

All that thinking was pointless though, if Faith didn’t wake up. And that was the problem, really. She wanted for it to be her choice, whether she gave the girl a chance or not, and she didn’t want it taken from her before she could make that decision.

« I thought you said things were good now between you two? » Xander eventually asked, seeing the conflicted emotions on Buffy’s face.   
« They are… I mean, we’re not really buddy-buddy, but I guess we could get there… If… » Buffy couldn’t finish that sentence and she just sighed and closed her eyes.  
« She’ll wake up Buff. That’s Faith we’re talking about, she’s strong and stubborn. She won’t give up without a fight. You just need to have a little… faith? » He smiled kindly before getting up and made his way to the door. He paused and turned around, a thoughtful look on his face. « You know… I didn’t thought that you would… care? But I’m happy you do. She’d be happy too… » and that being said, he quietly left the room, living Buffy alone with her thoughts and the reason for them laying unconscious in front of her.

-

Faith knew she was dreaming. Everything was too bright and too colorful for it to be real. She didn’t recognized the place, it looked like a dorm room, but she’d never been in there before, that she was sure of. She glanced around, noticing some books about magic, a few strange plants, some weird crystals scattered around and a heavy smell of incense. It actually smelled a bit like Red, she thought. The place was dark and a few little Christmas-like lights hanged around. She jumped when the door opened and a blonde girl with a startled look blinked at her. It couldn’t be…  
« Tara? »  
« You’ve b-been thinking a-a lot about me l-lately… that’s a bit d-disturbing » the blonde smiled shyly, closing the door behind her and taking a sit on the bed. She patted the spot next to her and Faith bewilderedly joined her.  
« Wow… are ya real? Imma dead? » she poked Tara’s shoulder and jumped in surprise when she came into contact with warm flesh. Tara giggled and casted her head down.  
« No, y-you’re not dead, Faith » she quietly answered.  
« But you are… » Faith exhaled, confirming all too well why this was likely to be a dream.   
« I am… it h-happened a l-long time ago, though. You seem almost s-sad about it » Tara flashed her a timid smile before averting her eyes again.  
« Well, a lotta stuff happened since you last saw me. Sorry about that, by the way. Was a jerk to ya, didn’t mean to… »   
« I know… I’ve been w-watching… y-you listening to Willow t-talk about me » Tara smiled at saying the name of the girl she loved and it broke Faith’s heart a little more. It was unfair. She wished Red was here, she should be the one having the chance to talk with her dead lover, not her. « You s-said b-beautiful things. I know it h-helps her a lot. And I d-don’t hold it against y-you anymore. You’re not the s-same person. I c-can see it in your a-aura » Tara added before hiding a bit behind her hair.  
« Ya see it in my what now? No, never mind, I don’t get anything of that creepy mojo you and Red have goin’. But thanks, anyway. So… » Faith looked around once more before casting her eyes on Tara’s deep blue ones. « Actually I have a question »  
« Just one? » Tara jokingly asked, chuckling under her breath. Faith snickered and shrugged.  
« Well, maybe not, but this one is buggin’ me. Red said you didn’t stutter anymore, and now you’re all… well… stutter-y? » she cringed at her own words. The last thing she wanted was to upset the blonde witch. She had made fun of her because of that when she met her, wearing Buffy’s body, which had been a jerk move. She didn’t want Tara to be remembered of that too.  
But the girl just kindly smiled, not being affected in the slightest.   
« I’m j-just a projection of how y-you remember me »  
« So you’re not really here? »  
« I am, it’s j-just the way I l-look or the w-way I talk, my c-clothes, m-my smell, it appears t-to you the way you r-remember it. But it’s really m-me. » Tara softly explained.   
« So, where am I? Why are ya here? Usually, B’s the one with the weird dreams. Man, she’s gonna be pissed at me. She said that if I died, she’d bring me back just to kill me herself. She’s still the same crazy-pants » Faith laughed, shaking her head. Tara gave her another small smile before telling her what she knew.  
« I don’t r-really know where we are, I m-mean, we are in m-my room, my o-old room, in college, but it’s also j-just a projection. I’m here be-because apparently I’ve b-been in your th-thoughts a lot. That’s what brought m-me here » she paused for a while, watching Faith nod thoughtfully but not commenting on it. « Buffy isn’t m-mad… she’s s-s-sad, actually. I can f-feel it. But you didn’t - didn’t asked me the more important q-question… »  
« I didn’t ? Hum… let me think… do I still look hot in death? » she grinned and Tara blushed.  
« You’re not d-dead Faith » and at Faith’s insistent look, she muttered « and you look fine »  
The brunette scoffed teasingly « I look fine? Sucks…But well, seeing as I’m probably covered in bruises and shit, looking fine isn’t that bad. If someone can pull off the look, it’d be me, right? » At Tara’s blank stare, she shrugged. « Ok, fine, the important question, I’ll bite. But only because you asked kindly » Faith winked and the witch rolled her eyes in a way she thought only was outmatched by Buffy. « So… why Imma here? ». This finally earned her a real smile and Tara nodded her head.  
« You’re here b-because you have a question t-to ask me »  
Faith seemed surprised for half a second, her eyes growing wide.  
« Is it…? Is it possible? God… Tara look at me, you know what I want to ask »  
Tara had been looking away and slowly brought her gaze back to Faith, eyes teary.  
« You can’t d-do anything Faith »  
« Really? I don’t think so, I wouldn’t be here if I couldn’t. Gimme somethin’ T, you’re the powerful witch, tell me how to help ya » Faith all but begged.  
« Willow is the powerful wi-witch, and even she c-couldn’t bring me b-back »  
« But I’m a powerful slayer, that has to count for somethin’, right ? What if… what about a trade? »  
« A-a trade? Faith wh-what are y-you talking about? »  
« Your life for mine. You’re way more valuable than I’ll ever be. Maybe that’s my destiny, maybe that’s why I’m here today. To help you out. I know Red did some pretty fucked up shit, but she doesn’t deserve the pain. She deserves to have you by her side, you’re her soulmate T »  
Tara had a secret smile on her lips, like she knew something beyond Faith’s knowledge.   
« Your t-time hasn’t come, Faith. You s-still have unresolved b-business waiting for you, your d-destiny is waiting for you » Tara shook her head vehemently and Faith grabbed the blonde’s hand, holding it in hers, slightly squeezing.  
« I would, T, I would give my life in a heartbeat, it isn’t worth much, anyway… I’m still trying to redeem myself, but… I don’t know how… maybe that’s the way to do it. »  
« It-it isn’t Faith… I know y-you want to do right, but that’s n-not the way to d-do it. It doesn’t work that w-way. »  
« Then, tell me how it works. Tell me what can I do, how can I bring peace back to Red, to B… » Faith sighed, running her hand through her wavy long hair.  
Tara beamed, pleased to see a side of Faith few had the chance to witness.  
« You’ll w-wake up soon » the witch warned but was cut off.  
« Will I remember this ? Will… I remember you? » Faith worried.  
« Y-yes, you will. This and m-much more. It will all m-make sense, and you will know ». Tara briefly hugged Faith, the brunette starting to feel a pull, a strange sensation coursing through her entire body. 

She tried to cling to the blonde witch but her vision blurred and suddenly she wasn’t in the dorm room anymore, and after she blinked, the vision of Tara was replaced by the one of another blonde, asleep in the chair next to the bed she was laying in.  
Faith was hurting everywhere, her left side felt like it was on fire and her thoughts were troubled, visions of her dream coming back to her. She’d been with Tara, and Tara had said this it would make sense, but it didn’t. Did it mean that there was a way to bring her back? Was it even possible after so much time? She felt like she shouldn’t tell anyone what she’d seen, she would have to sort this out on her own, she didn’t want to be giving false hope, especially to Willow.   
She tried to move but groaned when the pain shoot through her. Buffy abruptly opened her eyes, jumping up and hurrying at Faith’s side. For a second, Faith thought that the blonde was about to hug her, but instead she slapped her hard on her right side.  
« Aoutch ! » The dark slayer growled, frowning at Buffy. « In case you haven’t noticed, B, I’m not at my best right now, that’s a low blow, even for ya. » her voice was hoarse, and her throat felt dry but she kept going « If you wanna give it another try, at least let me get outta this bed, see who lands on top » she winked, which earned her another slap, this one lighter.   
« Argh, you drive me nuts, do you know that ! How can you be so careless about your own life ? I thought you were going to die ! » Buffy shouted angrily.  
« And I thought you wouldn’t care. See, we both were apparently wrong » Faith tried to get up but fell right back on the bed, the pain too strong to bear. Buffy helped her lay back down comfortably, arranging the pillow behind her head. Faith looked strangely at the blonde, seeing her fumble around, mumbling incoherent words under her breath.   
« You have to stay still, Will healed your wounds as best as she could, time and Slayer healing will do the rest » Buffy kept avoiding her eyes after her little outburst, and it quickly got on Faith's nerves.  
« How long have I been uselessly laying here? » she asked coldly and only received a glare as an answer.   
“ You’re really something else ! We’ve all been watching you day and night for 3 days and that’s all you have to say when you finally wake up ? And your wonder why I can’t stand you !” Buffy was about to bolt but this time, it was Faith who gripped her hand, flinching at the slight pain that the movement caused.   
“Wait B. I didn’t mean to snap, ok? Guess Imma bit grumpy, and maybe a bit hungry too, and -...”  
“I swear to god, Faith, if you say horny...” Buffy warned, glaring.   
“AND I shouldn’t have taken it all on ya” Faith ended, brows raised at Buffy’s interruption. “Someone should take her mind outta the gutter” she grinned and was rewarded with the famous eyes rolled she’d almost missed.   
“Fine... it’s ok. I guess I’m a bit grumpy too... someone has been keeping me awake the last few days!”  
“ New boyfriend?” Faith grinned and Buffy groaned. There, their relationship was back on the right tracks.   
“ Don’t forget I promised you a beating up when you’d feel better so... get well soon” she falsely smiled and left the room, this time not being stopped by the brunette. 

Faith learned by Willow that Buffy didn’t leave her side the all time she was unconscious and it actually warmed her heart, in a strange kinda way. The witch also explained that her magic not being what it once had been, she couldn’t completely heal Faith, which explained the 3 days blackout. However after a couple of more days of rest, she was good to leave, and actually couldn’t wait to sleep in her own bed again. Problem was, Willow was still sleeping there. As much as she liked her, she also craved some alone time to think about her weird dream and the possibility of bringing Tara back. It seemed like wishful thinking though. She wished she could bring her back, and Joyce, and Anya. Make her friends happy again. But it didn’t work that way, Tara had said so. So why had she seen her ? The question that had been on her mind for weeks now was how could she bring Tara back, and the blonde had known that even before she asked. It had to mean something. Unfortunately she’d never been good with research, she didn’t want to involve anyone in the castle either, and Giles would probably either say it was impossible or that it was a really, really bad idea. She could almost hear his voice. “The sacred powers of life and death are not ones to be taken lightly Faith, this is serious matters, ones that I believe you shouldn’t get involved with”, with his British accent that always made her smile. She sorta missed him. But she couldn’t dwell on it, right now, there were more important matters at end. Like finding a bed she could sleep in, aside from the one in the infirmary. Giles’ room was now taken by Xander who had to share with Andrew before the Watcher left for England. The 6 bedrooms on their floor were currently occupied, aside from hers and the boys’, by Dawn, Kennedy and Buffy. Her only choice was finding an empty bed in the baby slayers floor. Right. Faith sighed and laid on the common room’s couch, staring at the ceiling and trying to make sense of what had happened in her dream. She didn’t stay alone for long though, as Buffy entered the room and, true to herself, glared at her.   
“Where the hell have you been?” The blonde asked, hands on her hips, in a perfect picture of Buffy-talking-to-Faith.   
“Uh... here? My bed is kinda occupied right now and I wanted to be alone. What’s wrong ?” Faith sat up straighter and curiously watched Buffy.   
“Nothing... you should be in a bed, Faith. You’re still recovering” Buffy sighed, not moving from her spot a few feet away from the brunette.   
“I’m a slayer, B. I’ll be just fine. I’ll be ready to kick your ass in no time” she grinned and again, the head slayer just rolled her eyes.   
“I’ll tell Willow to stay in my room so you can get yours back, just rest, ok?” She said more softly and Faith got up, walking to her.   
“Nah, let her keep the room. It has been a rough week for her, she could use the rest and the calm”  
“Then come to mine, I’ll take the couch”  
“Not gonna throw you outta your own bed” she shook her head but Buffy just caught her hand and dragged her upstairs.   
“Why do you always have to be so difficult is beyond me”

When Buffy closed the door behind them, Faith stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, balancing her weight on her feet.   
“What’s wrong?” Buffy asked while retrieving her nighttime attire, some new ridiculous pajamas with green bears on them. Faith chuckled under her breath, and couldn’t help but think about the sushi pjs the blonde had once worn. “Are you making fun of my pajamas?” She pouted and Faith outwardly laughed this time.   
“Nah B, was actually wondering what I’m gonna sleep into. And before ya offer, don’t even think about it. There’s no way in hell I’ll wear one of your more than debatable choice of pjs”   
“You’re really testing my hospitality you know?” Buffy said while ruffling through her drawer, before walking back to Faith with a simple white tank top and some grey shorts. “You can use the bathroom first, there should be a spare new toothbrush under the sink” she handed her the clothes and watched Faith smile in thanks before entering the bathroom, not bothering to close the door. When she saw the brunette beginning to undress, she averted her eyes.   
“Will is right, zero modesty” Buffy muttered under her breath.   
“You said something B?” Faith asked from the bathroom.   
Buffy didn’t answer and stared out her window. The night was pitch black, her view on the little park behind the castle darkened. She sighed, placing her elbows on the window sill and closing her eyes.   
“Bathroom is all yours, B.”   
The blonde slayer turned around and gave a little nod and a smile before walking to the bathroom, closing the door behind her.   
When she came back, Faith was laying on the couch.   
“Faith, the all point of you coming to sleep here was to NOT sleep on the couch” she rolled her eyes and looked pointedly at the brunette.   
“And I told ya I wouldn’t steal your bed. I’ll stay here, that way you can keep an eye on me and see that I’m perfectly fine sleeping on a couch”  
But Buffy was stubborn. Faith almost expected to see her stamp her foot like a kid who was denied a new toy. Instead of that, though, the head slayer just walked to Faith, ripped her cover off and dragged her to the bed. Maybe she’d been a bit too rough though, because she heard Faith groan in pain when she landed.   
“God Faith, did I hurt you?” She didn’t let the girl answer before growling “see ! This is why you have to sleep in a comfy bed and not on some hard ass couch”  
“So you can manhandle me? That’s selfish B” Faith put her hand on her left side and Buffy bit her bottom lip when she saw a line of blood appear. “Shit B, think I ruined your shirt”   
Faith frowned and her expression was mirrored by her sister slayer.   
“Stay still, I’ll go get the first aid kit”  
She retrieved it from the bathroom and when she came back she sat on the bed next to Faith. The dark slayer was lifting the top, revealing a deep cut which had mostly healed but was now reopened about an inch long.   
But Buffy’s eyes weren’t on this injury. They were on a white line on Faith’s stomach, a clashing contrast to her tanned skin. They were glued to it, she couldn’t tear them off the faded scar which had never fully healed. She had never seen it before. She had pointedly avoided it when she’d worn the brunette’s skin during the body swap, and she had hopped to avoid it for the rest of her life. But here it was, thrown right at her face and she was frozen, she couldn’t move, she almost felt like she couldn’t breathe, the harsh reality of their past staring right back at her.   
“ Hey don’t worry B, ya didn’t hurt me, it just reopened the stitches. Hand me the bandage, yeah?” When Buffy didn’t answer and kept her stare on her stomach, she frowned. “B?”  
“Why do you never call me Buffy?” the blonde finally asked, tearing her eyes off the scar and plunging them in the chocolate ones that held a touch of worry, almost immediately hidden behind the usual mask of indifference.   
“‘Cause I like nicknames? Dunno, does it bother ya? D’ya want me not to?” Faith’s brows furrowed even more, the question taking her by surprise and she struggled to decipher how she had managed to offend the blonde this time around.   
“No... I was just wondering...” she whispered and pushed Faith’s hand away when the brunette tried to get the first aid kit. She took out what she needed and started to patch up Faith’s wound in silence.   
The Bostonian was feeling uncomfortable, not used to being taken care of and started fidgeting.   
“Stay still Faith” Buffy muttered and Faith smiled. “There, all done. Almost as good as new. I’ll get you another shirt, try not to bleed on this one, yeah?  
“Try not to hurt me on this one” Faith grinned and didn’t wait for Buffy to turn around before lifting the shirt off her head. She snickered at the deep blush it caused and was surprised Buffy didn’t get whiplashed seeing the speed in which she turned her head. A shirt was thrown vaguely her way and Buffy stayed resolutely turned, her back to Faith.   
“You can turn around, I’m decent” Faith said, the teasing clear in her voice.   
“You better be, Faith, or I swear you’ll be...”  
“Sleeping on the couch?” Buffy turned around and glared, which didn’t lessen Faith’s grin. The blonde sighed and shut off the lights before joining Faith on the bed, facing away from the dark slayer.   
“What’ya doin’?”   
“Shut up Faith. Just sleep. And keep your hands to yourself”  
“Jeez, B, are ya suggesting pleasuring myself with ya in the bed? Kinky !” Buffy blindly slapped at her, not bothering to turn around and Faith just chuckled. Most of the time, she had no idea what to make out of their relationship, but she was really starting to enjoy it.   
Still, this position they found themselves in, again, was a bit uncomfortable. For all her bravado, she wasn’t used to people caring. Sure, she was close with the Scoobies now, but it was different with Buffy, it probably always would be.  
« Faith… stop fidgeting… » the blonde mumbled.  
Faith sighed, and turned toward Buffy.  
« B… It’s kinda weird… »  
« As you so elegantly pointed to me last time, it’s not the first time we are together in a bed »  
« Last time it was morning and we just kinda fell asleep, and the time before that there was like 3 other people with us » Faith grumpily answered.  
« What’s the matter Faith? » Buffy sighed, turning so she was facing the brunette.  
« I just… I’ve never slept with anyone before… I mean, you know, like the all night where there’s just sleeping involved. I… I just don’t like it… »  
Buffy just stared at her, trying to see something behind those chocolate eyes that were always so guarded.  
« Do you want me to go sleep on the couch? » she eventually asked and Faith just shook her head. The blonde took a big breath and reached for Faith’s hand under the cover, startling the dark slayer. « It’s ok Faith. It’s just me. Just close your eyes and think about something peaceful… »  
So Faith did just that, but she didn’t have to think about anything but Buffy’s hand holding hers.


	6. Chapter 6

A few days passed, Faith started to teach her classes again, and she was no closer to understanding the Tara dream thing. She got her room back after the night she spent with Buffy. When she’d woken up, the blonde had already left, therefore escaping the morning awkwardness of the last time. And if she was honest, she was as much disappointed as she was relieved. 

Faith was sprawled out on the couch, feet on the backrest, disinterestedly watching the gang play some card games and chat about some new patrol schedule. Right now, she could care less. Not that she usually did, she was more of a tell-me-what-to-kill kinda girl anyway.   
She mentally checked everything that she knew so far, which wasn’t much. If only she could talk to Tara again and ask her where she could begin her researches. But she hadn’t dreamt of Tara since the demon attack, which made her think that it had been triggered by her almost death.

« Hey Faith, come play with us! » Xander called at her and she just shook her head.

Maybe she could fake a ‘on the verge of death’ condition with a spell or something. But she knew shit about magic and it could be dangerous to try it on her own. There was no way she’d involve Willow, though, she’d have to find another way.

« You’ve been awfully quiet lately » Buffy startled Faith when she sat next to her on the couch, putting the brunette’s legs on her lap. Faith raised an eyebrow at the action. « Is your wound still bothering you? »  
« Nah, don’t feel a thing » she dismissed the question, not feeling like talking.  
« Is that supposed to be a good thing ?» It was Buffy’s turn to raise a brow. Faith just shrugged. « Did I… Did I upset you ? You’ve been distant all week… »  
It was probably one of the last thing she’d ever expect Buffy to say, along with ‘I’m bored, we should have sex ». She snickered at the thought and the blonde sighed and pushed Faith’s legs off of her, trying to hide her hurt.  
Faith stopped her and put her legs back on Buffy, gently pushing her back on the couch.  
« You didn’t upset me, B, and I didn’t mean to be distant. Just have a lot on my mind, and stuff to catch up on, ya know, ‘cause I spent a few days asleep and all » She paused, breathing heavily before saying some words she didn’t say often if ever. « I’m sorry, B. »  
Buffy tried to hide the surprise on her face but it was evident and Faith couldn’t really blame her. She couldn’t remember a time when she’d said the words to her blonde counterpart.   
« Oh… ok, then. Have you been sleeping alright ? Happy to have your bed back? » Buffy grinned and Faith chuckled at the clear amusement on her face. Apparently, it wasn’t a taboo topic, good.  
« Why, did you miss me in your bed, Blondie? » Faith wriggled her eyebrows and she got a slap on her leg for her troubles. Strangely, Buffy’s hand remained there, playing with the fabric of Faith’s jeans.   
« Sure, I missed you kicking then clinging to me like some -»  
« Don’t you dare finish that sentence, B. I don’t cling, you must have been having some wicked dream to think that » she flashed the blonde a naughty smile.  
« Whatever Faith. I’ve already discovered that you’re a cuddle-monster, so no surprise there » Buffy offered an exaggerated sweet smile.  
« Please! » Faith scoffed, making Buffy laugh.  
« And now you’re begging, really Faith, where is that tough girl act I’ve seen you display for years? Is Faithy turning into a big softie? »  
Faith mumbled under her breath, quickly getting up, swatting Buffy’s hand away when she tried to reach for her.  
She could still hear Buffy’s laugh when she went up the stairs.

When she got in her room, she scoffed again, shaking her head just thinking of the blonde’s words.  
« A softie, I’ll give you soft ! »  
She let herself fall heavily on the bed, getting back to more important thoughts. A crazy idea was emerging in her head and she would need to check if it was even achievable.  
She immediately got up and quietly headed to the library. There must be some book in there that she could use. She let her fingertips run along the covers, stopping at what she thought could help.  
This library reminded her of the one in Sunnydale, where she used to meet with the gang during those short months she worked with them. They’d never really treated her as one of them though, they were this close group, almost impervious, and she was the wild chick, mysterious, dangerous, free. And once the novelty of it all had faded, they had just treated her like the side-kick.   
But things were different now. She wasn’t a Scooby, not yet, maybe not ever, but she was finally a part of this dysfunctional family and it felt good. Even if it was just as the crazy cousin or something. 

-

She was absorbed in her reading, finally having some semblance of the beginning of a plan. She would need a few things, but Willow probably had them, the thing was managing to get her hand on them without the red-head noticing.

« Never pegged you for a reader » Faith jumped a foot high. « Nor for a jumper » Kennedy raised a brow and took a sit next to Faith, who subtly put the book away, acting nonchalant, and put her feet on the table.   
« Was bored. How are ya doin’ Ken? Red still givin’ ya the cold shoulder? »  
« She isn’t giving me any shoulder, she’s just ignoring me » Kennedy sighed. « I can’t really blame her… »  
« You sure can’t. What about the gal you were with? »  
« What about her? »  
« Ya still foolin’ around? »  
« No, ‘course not! »  
Faith just stared at her intently and Kennedy lowered her eyes.  
« I… It happened once… I was feeling like shit and she was there… »  
« God, Ken… don’t let her know, ‘k? She went through enough as it is, no need to rub it in her face » Faith shook her head, running her hand through her hair.  
« I know… god I’m such a fucked up… I know I said I wanted to make things right but… Damn, I like her, Faith, I really do… »  
« But you’re not in love with her » Faith finished for her and Kennedy nodded sadly. « It’s ok Ken, I get it, and Red probably would too, if you were honest with her instead of fucking some random chick behind her back »  
Kennedy put her head in her hands, exhaling heavily.  
« I just… I felt at the top of the world, when I got my powers and we defeated the First. And I guess I felt that I owed it to Willow… »  
Faith didn’t say a word, just nodded and patted the other slayer’s back. She didn’t know what to say. Ken was the first to give her a chance, and she was grateful for that, for their friendship, but damn the girl messed it up pretty bad, and Faith knew it’d be a while before things got back to normal. She’d already witnessed all the Scoobies ignoring the new Yorker, glaring at her when they’d crossed paths, and it had to be tough for her. But she also kinda asked for this.   
« Look, whatever you need, I’m here, ‘k? You fucked-up, but it’ll get better. Give it time and lay low for a while. Just… talk to Red, yeah? Tell her the truth. She deserves as much »  
Kennedy didn’t answer, she got up, squeezed Faith’s shoulder and left the room.

-

A few more days passed and Faith was feeling conflicted. She had managed to gather the ingredients she needed, picking them while Willow was shopping with Dawn. Now, she needed some information in order to put her plan into action, and for that, she needed Tara. But Tara wasn’t there. And Faith wasn’t in whatever place she’d found herself last time. She felt like some crazy girl with an unhealthy obsession. And that’s probably what she was, because the only way she could think of was to get injured and hope for the best. She was certifiably insane, she realized that, but seeing Willow and her sad eyes was taking a toll on her. Why she cared, she had no idea. Maybe… maybe she wanted for one of them to have a happy ending, maybe she needed that too, to see that it wasn’t impossible, that they could have a little control over things in their lives. 

And lately, when she wasn’t thinking about how to bring Tara back, she was thinking about Buffy, and that frustrated her to no end. It felt so weird to be in somewhat good terms with the blonde, she would never admit it out loud but she had missed it. Still, it was like walking on eggs, she was always scared that a little thing would happen and push them back to square one. If she was honest with herself, though, she enjoyed the time she spent with Buffy, it felt good to be with her without drama, without fighting, without all the angst that usually followed the two of them when they interacted together. Maybe she wasn’t as closed-off as she’d once been, Buffy wasn’t either. That helped. But it also brought back some weird feeling in the pit of her stomach, a feeling she had tried to ignore for years. It was pretty easy when they were trying to kill each other, it didn’t make it vanish but she could tune it down then. Now, it was back full force and with a vengeance. And that scared her. It was too easy to fall back into their playful banter, the lingering looks, the useless touching. She was just asking for pain and she knew it. She didn’t really know what she wanted, but what she knew was that no matter what it was, she would never get it. That’s just how things were with Buffy. She was beneath her, the blonde had told her that once.   
She sighed, the painful memory always depressed her. 

She felt a soft hand on her bare arm and lifted her eyes to see the reason for her tormented thoughts watching her with worried eyes.  
Buffy kneeled down in front of Faith, placing her hands on the brunette’s knees for balance. Faith involuntarily shivered. She kept her eyes on the green ones in front of her, waiting for Buffy to speak.  
« You seem… troubled… » she eventually whispered and Faith averted her eyes. She wasn’t sure she could do this right now, she had to stay focused, they would have plenty of time to talk about everything that had happened between them. At least she hoped so. So she focused on the anger, she repeated Buffy’s words in her head, again and again to avoid the depth of her real feelings. You’re beneath me. You’re beneath me. You’re beneath me…   
« Nah, that’s just my face » Faith answered flippantly but Buffy clearly wasn’t buying it.   
« What’s wrong Faith? » Buffy frowned, trying to get the brunette to look at her but failing. When she didn’t get an answer, the worry morphed into anger and she stood up. « You know, you had a somewhat similar look on your face before you went to work with the mayor, so, is that what it is? Are you about to betray us again? » She cruelly asked, hands on her hips and Faith was stunned. She opened her mouth and closed it a couple of times, not able to utter a single word. She wanted to get mad, to be outraged, to yell, maybe even to punch her, but she just stayed frozen, not believing the words Buffy had just said. Where the hell was this coming from? She didn’t feel angry like she wished she did. She felt a heavy weight on her chest, where she swore her heart was just a minute ago. Buffy didn’t trust her. She probably never would.   
Here it was, that little thing that would throw them back to square one. Maybe even further than that. She hadn’t expected for it to happen so soon, to happen like that. But she had to see the bright side of things. Here was her opportunity to set her plan up. Stay focused, Faith. She had to, because she could feel a sting in her eyes, and there was no way she’d let Buffy see how much she’d just hurt her. She put on her mask of indifference, the one she spent all her life perfecting. She got up and didn’t look at Buffy once as she left the kitchen, not looking back, not even when she heard the blonde call her name.

She went straight to her room and grabbed her duffel bag, throwing clothes, a couple of stakes, a knife, the book she had taken from the library and the few ingredients she’d stolen from Willow in it. She hesitated a second before grabbing the picture that was laying on her nightstand. Andrew had taken it the previous week during a night with the gang. They were all siting together on the couch, Xander on the far right, sitting on the armrest with a goofy smile, Willow was snuggled against him, his arm thrown around her. Then there was Dawn, a big grin on her face, knees against her chest. Buffy was sitting next, her famous little half smile adorning her face, one arm around Dawn, the other resting on Faith’s knee, who was on the other armrest, wearing a bored look, hands behind her head. She looked at the picture for a moment before putting it with the rest of her stuff and walked to the bathroom to retrieve her toiletries. When she got back in the room, Dawn was standing there, tears running down her face.

« Please Faith… she… she didn’t mean it… don’t leave… » she cried harder and Faith let the bag fall on the floor, walked to the teenager and wrapped her arms around her. She didn’t even question how Dawn knew what had happened.  
« Shh, don’t cry Dawnie… Ya know I hate seeing ya cry »  
« Then stay » she backed off just enough to look into Faith’s eyes. « I know you didn’t turn bad again, Buffy knows it too, don’t leave us… not again… »  
Faith just put Dawn’s head back on her shoulder and patted her head. Those Summers women were going to be the death of her. But she had to stay strong, As much as Buffy had hurt her, she also gave her the opportunity to leave for a while without anyone questioning it. She’d been looking for a way to do so and it’d been offered to her on a silver plate. A bitter silver plate.  
« ’s okay Baby S, if ya need anything, you just call me. I need to get away for a while. You understand right? »  
« If you go, you’ll just prove her right » Dawn got off her arms and crossed her arms in that Summers’ way.  
« Seems like that’s what she’s been waitin’ for. I won’t stay here and be treated like shit when she feels the need to let off steam. I won’t be anyone’s punching bag, Dawnie, not even B’s. » She sighed, running her hand through her head and grabbing her bag from the floor. « I’d get it if you’re mad at me, but I just want ya to know I’m here if you need me »  
« No you won’t be… » Dawn murmured and Faith’s heart clenched in her chest. She kissed the baby Summers head, lingering for a second before leaving the room.  
She paused in the hall, writing a quick note for Xander, Willow and Kennedy. God, they were going to be so pissed at her for leaving like that… But if everything worked out in the end, they’d understand and maybe even be glad she did. Well, maybe not Ken, but that was another problem altogether and she’d deal with it when the time would come.  
She grabbed her leather jacket, her helmet and her keys, looking around one last time before leaving the castle.  
Of course Buffy was waiting for her outside, leaning on her bike.  
Faith sighed, she so didn’t want to have to deal with this right now. She wished the hurt would turn into anger so she’d know how to react, but she was still feeling that pang in her chest, and the feeling was numbing and left her speechless.

« So that’s it? You don’t like what I say so you pack and leave? » Buffy had her arms crossed, a defiant look on her face.   
Faith got around the blonde and tied her bag to the bike, making sure it was secured before putting the key in the ignition. She avoided Buffy’s eyes, but the head slayer roughly grabbed her arm.  
« Look at me Faith, damnit ! Why don’t you talk to me ! »  
Faith scoffed and pulled her arm back.  
« I think you said it all. ’s ok. Guess it was never supposed to work out between us, after all. » She finally looked into those beautiful green eyes, for once not hiding a damn thing from them. She wanted Buffy to see the truth that laid behind them. When she saw the beginning of a tear though, she put on her helmet, getting on her loyal Triumph.  
« Faith… don’t go… » she heard Buffy whisper, but she fought the will to just get off the bike and take her in her arms. Instead, she twisted the throttle and sped off, leaving all she ever wanted behind.


	7. Chapter 7

She spent a few days in some crappy motel close to Pittsburgh. It brought back some memories she’d rather forget, but it was necessary. She didn’t want to go too far in case something happened, but she still needed to be far enough for the first part of her crazy plan.  
She read the spell one more time before disposing everything she needed around her, and sat in the middle of the sand-made circle. It wasn’t really sand, it was some weird stuff with a name she’d already forgotten, but it kinda looked like sand.  
She sighed before reading the spell aloud, hoping her shitty pronunciation wouldn’t mess it. She saw a green light that made her squint her eyes, accompanied by a heavy smoke, and only when it started dissipating she realized the spell had worked. In front of her, in all its monstrous glory, purple skin, horns and all, was D’Hoffryn.

« Slayer, what an interesting surprise » he surveyed the room and squinted his nose in disgust. « I thought you were living in some classy castle now? »  
« Took a vacation » she shrugged, still surprised, and a bit amazed it had worked.  
« I see. May I ask why you summoned me? » He was clearly already bored and ready to leave, so Faith had to be quick and concise.  
« Anya… Anyanka or whatever you call her »  
« My poor Anyanka… she was one of my best vengeance demon, what a pity to see her die like she did » he shook his head sadly.  
« So? You’re a vengeance demon, like the chief or whatever, bring her back »  
He scoffed, « It doesn’t work like that young lady, Anyanka was a human when she died, and I can’t resurrect anyone, that’s not part of my powers »  
« Yeah, ok, but you grant wishes, right? »  
He didn’t let her finish and grinned. « Would you like to make a wish, Slayer? »  
She laughed, rolling her eyes. « Nah, ‘m pretty sure I wouldn’t like it »  
« So what’s your point? » he asked impatiently.  
« Well, bring her back as a vengeance demon, it’d be like granting a wish to your kind or whatever » She shrugged, acting nonchalant. She had researched for hours in order to make sure it was something he could do. The only way would be for Anya to come back as a vengeance demon, granted by the wish of all their group, but that was a small price to pay, really. He seemed to think about it.  
« And why would I do that? It would ask a lot of power »  
« ‘cause she was your best? And she was killed by the first evil, how unfair right? »  
« Well she was fighting by the side of the good » he raised a brow, or what should have been a brow but only was crunchy purple skin.  
« I know for a fact that you vengeance demons weren’t on his side, right? So she wasn’t against you »  
He looked at her intently. « Why would you want Anyanka back? » D’Hoffryn asked suspiciously.  
« ‘cause imma scorned woman? » she grinned and he huffed. But after a few seconds of staring at her, he finally relented and she softly breathed a relieved sigh.  
« Hum… I guess I should have thought about it myself, really. Having a Slayer telling me how to bring my Anyanka back… » He shook his head, scratching his chin. He mumbled some incoherent words, apparently trying to figure if it was really achievable. Faith crossed her arms and tried to stay patient. All of her plan would be for nothing if she couldn’t bring Anya back first. After Tara, she was probably the only one with enough knowledge to make it work. And well, it wouldn’t hurt to see Xander’s goofy smile either.  
« Fine, what do you want in exchange of that information? »  
« Oh, D’Hoff’ please, it was no info, you already knew that » she played it off, a fake friendly grin on her lips. « We’re just havin’ a good chat. But if you could send me Anya-nka once you bring her back, that’d be cool to say hi and have a drink with her, ya know? »  
He sighed, crossing his arms. « Granted ».  
And with that, he was gone.

She probably should have asked how long it would take, but it didn’t really matter. She’d done it! Anya was coming back ! She had a huge smile on her face and started humming while cleaning up the things she’d used for the spell, incantation, summoning, whatever.   
She’d just sat on the bed when her cell phone rang. Trans-continental call…  
« Hey G, what’s up? »  
She heard him fumbling for a bit before answering.  
« Yes, hello Faith. I hope I’m not calling at a bad time? »  
« Nop, was cleanin’ a bit. You ok? »  
« Quite, yes. Actually I thought maybe I should be the one asking you that …»  
Great… She sighed, pinching her eyes between her thumb and forefinger.  
« I’m fine, G. Dunno who called ya, but no need to worry, just took a little vacation, ya know, I kinda needed to get outta there for a while »  
« Last time we spoke, you were doing well in the castle. What happened Faith ?» He used his concerned voice that got to her every time and she had to fight herself not to cave in and spill it all.  
« Just the usual. Blondie likes to talk outta her ass. Things got heated, I thought it’d be better if I left for a while »  
« Dare I ask what quarrel you two had this time ? »  
Faith bit her lip, she didn’t really wanted to reminisce their fight, and Giles would probably get all frown-y and stuff. God, she did talk like Willow now.  
« Nothing special » she eventually said. « Ya know, stupid shit. I’ll go back soon, just enjoying myself for a bit. What about ya G, coming back soon or are ya too busy drinking tea with your uptight friends? » she teased, changing the topic.  
« I believe I should be offended but seeing as I have a cup of tea currently sitting on my desk, I will let it go. As for me coming back, I still have important matters to attend right now, but I will be back as soon as I can. And I sure hope you’ll be back too by then »  
« Gotcha. Take care G, bye »  
« You too, Faith »  
She hanged up and laid down. She missed Giles. Before he left, they had talked for a long while, about her past mistakes, about his, he told her about his days as Reaper, she told him how hard it was to face what she had done. He’d told her he should have been to her the watcher he’d been to Buffy and she hadn’t realized until then that was what she had needed. They had developed a close relationship, she followed his training schedules, read the slayers diary and whatever soporific book he’d instruct her to read. By the time he had left, he was the only one really acknowledging her aside from Kennedy and it had been hard. Now things were better, not perfect, if what had happened with Buffy was any indication, but they were getting there. But still, she couldn’t wait for him to come back. She just hoped he wouldn’t be too mad about what she was currently doing.

-

She’d been in Pittsburgh for a little over a week. She was laying in her bed, watching tv, bored out of her mind. She had patrolled every night, only encountering a few vamps. She had received a phone call from each Scooby - minus Buffy. Dawn had cried and begged her to come back, Kennedy had growled, complaining about Faith leaving her alone during a hard time, Willow had sympathized, telling her to take her time but that she wanted her back eventually and Xander had joked about silly things, before telling her he kinda missed her. Even Andrew had called ! Something about a new receipt that she would love and should come back for. But she realized the one phone call she didn’t get was the one she needed the most. It was stupid really. Buffy had said some really harsh things, she should be pissed, but still, she grasped that whether she liked it or not, she missed the blonde. She really was a sucker for pain, especially when Buffy was the one inflicting it. She didn’t understand where the accusation had come from and that was what really threw her for a loop. They were doing fine, Buffy had even seemed worried about her, and suddenly, she had snapped and turned into bitch-mode. It didn’t make sense. And why would she ask her to stay after telling her stuff like that? Was she bipolar or something? Faith shook her head and sighed. There was no sense in pinning over it. 

She was about to go take a shower when she saw some weird vortex in the corner or the room, and suddenly, in front of her was none other than Anya.  
« The psycho Slayer? » she asked surprised. « When D’Hoffryn said the Slayer was the reason I was brought back, I thought he was talking about Buffy ! » She shrugged and smiled in her quirky kind of way. « I’m still happy to see you, actually you’re funnier than Buffy, if we don’t consider the fact that you slept with my Xander. Where is he anyway? » She asked looking around.  
Faith chuckled and waved for Anya to sit down.  
« I’m happy to see you too Anh’. You’ll get to see Xan’ soon, I just… I need a little favor before we go back to the castle »  
« A castle? » she jumped a little, and Faith almost expected to see her clap her hands.  
« Yeah, lotta stuff happened, you’ve been gone for a few months. I’ll give you the cliff notes… »

Faith related what had happened since the fall of Sunnydale, her new relationship with the Scoobies, leaving out what was currently going on with Buffy, and eventually her almost death and her shared dream with Tara. She finished with the plan she had in mind to bring her back.  
« Wow …» the blonde mused. « I’ve been gone less than a year and Xander has been playing video games and pool with you all day long ! »  
« ’s that all you caught from my long ass story ? » Faith quirked an eyebrow and Anya shrugged.  
« What you’re asking isn’t possible, Faith » she stated like she was talking to an idiot.   
« I’m sure it is. I read stuff about parallel universes and - »  
« But you don’t just want to go to a parallel universe, you want to go in the past, duplicate it in a parallel universe and then bring Tara back, just saying it gives me a headache ! »  
« Well… not just Tara actually… »  
« Faith ! You can’t play God ! »  
« But this isn’t fair ! » the brunette argued.  
« Human life isn’t fair. That’s how it is… Ok, I’ll bite, who do you also want to bring back? » she asked after a while.  
Faith took a deep breath before muttering « Joyce… Buffy and Dawn need her, Anh’, she was taken from them way too soon »  
Anya gave her a sad smile. « Faith… even if you could do all of that, and I’m clearly not saying you can, but even if you could, bringing Joyce back wouldn’t change the fact that she was ill. You can’t change that. Maybe you can change Tara’s fate, or whatever you think you can do, but Joyce… it wasn’t an accident, you can’t stop her from getting sick… »  
« But maybe I can? Maybe if I stay there and convince them that she needs to check with the doctor sooner, or - or -»  
« Parallel universes are different, time passes differently, you could spend a week there and be gone for a year here »  
« So what? It doesn’t matter, what does is finding a way to bring them back ! I just wish - »  
« No you don’t ! » Anya interrupted, glaring at her. « Vengeance demon here, you can’t wish things or I’ll have to grant it, and trust me, it never ends the way you’d like »  
« Then why do ya do it? »   
« Hey, I’m a demon, not a fairy! » Anya scoffed and crossed her ams.  
« How come ya wearing a human face? »  
« Didn’t want to scare you » she shrugged and Faith smiled. « And I only wear it while granting a wish anyway »  
« ‘k… so… will you help me? And then, I’ll take you to Xander »  
Anya took a deep breath, shaking her head.  
« I’m going to regret it, but your intentions are pure, and as much as I’m supposed to be a demon, again, I still feel the human in me begging to help you. And I was brought back thanks to you so… » when Faith grinned, Anya held her hand up. « BUT, I still don’t know if what you’re asking is possible. I’ll have to research, go to numerous hell dimensions to gather information, and it could take a while… »  
« Then you go back to the castle. Doesn’t seem fair to keep you away from Xander longer than necessary. Don’t tell anyone what I’m trying to do, and don’t tell them I’m the reason you’re back. Actually don’t even tell them you saw me, and try to act surprised when they start telling you stuff ok? We’ll keep in touch and as soon as you know more, come find me here »  
« You’re not going back with me? » Anya asked, frowning.  
« I can’t do shit there, there’s always people around, or Buffy on my back. I need to be alone to be able to do it » she paused and took a breath. « And I kinda need to almost die or some shit like that, figure that’s how I got to see Tara last time. We could use her help now that we have a plan »  
« You need to what? Have you lost your mind ? Just stay put until I know more, ok? »   
« Whatever. Nice to have you back Anh’ »  
Anya nodded and patted Faith’s knee before getting up.  
« I’ll be as quick as I can. Bye Faith ! » she grinned before disappearing from the room.

Faith smiled. The first part of the plan was a success. The second part was running. Her smile faltered when she thought about Anya’s words regarding Joyce, though. But she would find a way, she had to. Maybe she would never be able to tell Buffy how she really felt - and she didn’t even know herself how she felt - but she sure as hell could try to show her. If Buffy could trust her again some day, she had to try to do this for her, the blonde deserved it. Dawn deserved it. They all deserved to be happy after all the pain they had to endure year after year, and she was set on making that happen, no matter what. Here was her chance to do good, to right her wrongs, here was her redemption, her destiny.

-

Almost a week later, Faith was having a drink at some local bar. She hadn’t heard from the vengeance demon yet, she wished she could have been there to see everyone’s reaction but their frantic phone calls were filled with quite the obvious reactions, and she also knew that if she’d have gone, there was no way they would have let her leave again. And as she had told Anya, she needed the distance to do what she needed to. So here she was, twirling the Jake and coke in her glass. Anya had asked her to stay to put, so she tried her best to do so, but she really wanted to see Tara, at least to be sure that her idea wasn’t completely insane and had a chance to work. She sighed and gulped the contents of her glass, motioning the bartender for another one. She felt that she needed to numb her crazy thoughts, and above all, she wanted to stop thinking about Buffy. She tried really, really hard not to think about the blonde, but she just couldn’t help it. She kept wondering if Buffy was still mad at her, if she missed Faith as much as Faith missed her. If she was on her thoughts as much as the head slayer occupied hers. The feeling drove her nuts. Buffy didn’t even trust that she was trying to be good, she still thought that Faith would betray them first chance she got. She should feel mad, she knew it, years back, she would probably have. She would also have probably proved her right by screwing things up. But she had changed. She really did. She was hunted by all the fucked up things she had done, night after night. She didn’t wake up with a start every night anymore, but the nightmares were still there, consuming her. So she tried, everyday she tried damn hard to redeem herself, not because it could help stopping that awful feeling inside her, but because it was the right thing to do. And she would never tell anyone that, but she knew that until Buffy could forgive her, she would never be able to just start forgiving herself. She didn’t even know why, she just knew it. She knew she had hurt the blonde, and in return, Buffy had hurt her, had gutted her, before forgetting completely about her sad existence. But Faith had never stopped thinking about her. Everyday in her cell, she’d woken up with the hope to one day make things right with Buffy.   
But of course, Buffy was giving her a run for her money. Nothing was ever simple between them, and when Faith had finally thought that they were on the right track, Buffy had to go and say stupid shit like that, leaving the brunette with that empty feeling in her chest.  
After a few more drinks, she threw a wad of cash on the counter and slowly walked to her motel, hands in her pockets to keep the chilly wind from getting to her body.

She entered her room and her mouth fell open. She didn’t get the chance to say anything before a fist connected with her jaw. She involuntarily took a step back from the force of the punch and her hand unconsciously went to her face.  
« You still have a mad right hook, B » she sighed, closing the door and heading to the mini fridge to grab a beer. Instead of opening it, she applied the bottle to her throbbing jaw, trying to appease it.   
« Do you have any idea how worried everybody is? » Buffy growled.  
“Bullshit” Faith muttered.   
“Excuse me ? Are you back to the pity party ? ‘Cause -“  
“Nah, I meant bullshit, that’s not why you’re here” Faith simply said and took a sit on her bed while Buffy stood, arms crossed, a couple of feet from her.   
“Of course that’s why I’m here ! Don’t think for a second that I am the one who wants you back, Faith!” Buffy spat venomously. Faith snickered. She was starting to see what the problem was and if it wasn’t so messed up, she would laugh at how alike they could be. She had to trade carefully here so she kept her voice even.   
“I’ll tell you what. I’m gonna talk, you gonna listen without interrupting. Then you can say whatever ya want and go back to Cleveland, ‘k?”   
Buffy glared at her but didn’t answer. She took that as her cue to talk.   
“‘K. Look, B, everyone, and by everyone I mean Dawnie, Xan, Red, Ken and even Andy, know where I am. And they’re not worried because I talk to them almost everyday.” Buffy’s eyes widened and she reddened a little but didn’t interrupt. “ could we for once just be honest? Just stop beating around the bush and tell me what the matter is, don’t use the gang as an excuse to barge in here and yell at me, or at least, do some research beforehand. That would avoid you making an ass out of yourself.” Buffy eyeballed her, fists clenched and for a second Faith thought she was about to get punched again. But after a heavy sigh, the blonde lowered her head before sitting down next to Faith.   
“Just... just come back, Faith. Don’t make it harder than it has to be. I get it, you’re mad at me, I said some stupid things that I shouldn’t have, you got time to cool off, now pack your things so we can leave?” Buffy avoided her eyes and what was supposed to be an order ended up being a question.   
“Ya know, I always thought I was shitty at apologies but I think I found my match, ‘cause damn, that was bad !”  
“Shut up” Buffy said, but there was no animosity.   
“Just tell me what I did to make you think that I was... evil again, or whatever” Faith eventually asked after a moment of silence.   
Buffy seemed to struggle for an answer, and Faith thought that she wouldn’t get one until she heard the blonde exhale quietly.   
“I... I don’t know how to trust you, Faith. But sometimes, without me noticing, I find myself forgetting about all the bad that happened between us, and that scares me, because I don’t know what I’ll do if you betray me - us again.” Faith nodded but stayed silent, letting Buffy say whatever was on her mind. “I could see that something was wrong with you and... when you wouldn’t tell me, I just couldn’t help but think about the past and I got angry because I was trusting you there, I didn’t mean to but I was, and you didn’t trust me” she lifted her hand before Faith could interrupt. “Not enough to tell me what was bothering you. So I snapped. That’s what we do, I think it hurts that much between us because we just know how to go for the kill. I know you probably didn’t mean to hurt me, but it did hurt that you wouldn’t talk to me, so I reacted the only way I know when it comes to you... I hurt you back...”  
Faith contemplated how to answer that. When the blonde had started yelling at her, she got a feeling that was what had angered Buffy. She didn’t want to care, but she did, and in a way that Faith knew all too well, she didn’t react too well and lashed out in fear of getting hurt. Faith knew better than anyone that kind of self-preservation so she couldn’t really get mad, even though it stung.   
Seeing as she wasn’t getting an immediate answer, Buffy wiggled in the bed, playing with the end of her blouse.   
“I’m sorry Faith... we were good and for once, I’m the one who messed it all up. I don’t want things to go back to the way they were before, between us, I... I actually like having you around...” Buffy said so softly that Faith doubted she would have heard her without her slayer hearing.   
“ ‘s ok, B. I’m no saint. I know how it is to push things away just so they can’t hurt ya. But I’m not trying to hurt ya. And if I did, then, my bad” she chuckled humorlessly, shaking her head. “No, not my bad, if I did, I’m fucking sorry because that’s the last thing I’d want. Damn, B, can’t you see how much I do care ‘bout all of ya? Even you...” she added more softly and avoided the green eyes that were intently gazing at her. “So I get it, but it doesn’t make it ok, and I’m not tryin’ to make ya feel bad or anything, but ya can’t just be at my throat every time you’re scared. I get that ya don’t trust me, I’m not even sure I trust myself, but if you can’t take that first step, we’ll never be able to have a somewhat healthy relationship”  
Buffy was stunned. She didn’t know how or when Faith became so serious and, dare she say, somewhat wise, but she was right nonetheless. Every damn little thing she said was right and as much as it pained the blonde to admit, this once, she would have to be the one caving and admitting her wrongs. She gathered the courage to overlook the past and took Faith’s hand. When the brunette’s whiskey eyes gazed into her green ones, she offered a shy smile.   
“Then I want to try. I’m not saying it will be easy, I’m not saying that we’ll never fight anymore, but I do want to try...”  
“Well... at least try to keep that right hook outta my face, yeah?” Faith grinned and Buffy lunged at her, feeling the brunette tense as she threw her arms around her in a hug. “When I said I didn’t cuddle, did I mention that I wasn’t that good with hugging either ?” Faith lifted her arms around Buffy uncomfortably. Buffy didn’t answer, she barely moved and just kept holding the dark slayer.   
“ I... I was so afraid you wouldn’t give me another chance...” she whispered, her head buried in brown locks.   
“Meh, ya lucky I’m still probably drunk” Faith lamely joked even if it couldn’t be more of a lie. She was damn cold sober the moment she had opened her door and found Buffy in there. But Buffy was still hugging her and she didn’t know what she was supposed to do. Her hands were on the blonde’s back, flat and motionless while Buffy’s were running up and down her back, sending shivers through all her body. She could feel goosebumps rising on her arms and shivered unintentionally.   
“Are you cold?” Buffy asked softly and Faith had to fight another shiver.   
“Probably... Ahem...” she cleared her throat and disentangled from Buffy, awkwardly running her hand through her hair. “Place doesn’t have a heater, maybe I caught a cold or somethin’” she got up from the bed and Buffy eyed her strangely. “Anyway, it’s late. In fact, how did you get there?”  
At that, Buffy jumped, her good mood apparently back.   
“Oh my god ! I can’t believe I didn’t tell you! Anya came back ! You should have seen Xander, I thought he was gonna pass out ! But they’ve been inseparable since ! Well almost... because she came back as a vengeance demon... well, still better than nothing, right?” Buffy beamed and Faith couldn’t help but smile. She was happy to see this kind of reaction and couldn’t wait to see Xander.   
“/yeah, the gang told me. That’s cool ! And unexpected but well, we live on a Hellmouth so we shouldn’t be that surprised”  
“My thought exactly! Anyway, she was the one who brought me here, she can teleport us back if you want but I figured you wouldn’t let you baby here” Buffy grinned and Faith vehemently shook her head in a joking way.   
“Damn straight I won’t! That bike is like some part of me now!” She lightly laughed before quickly turning serious again. That’s when things were bound to get shitty again. “But... uh... I’m not going back for now, B”  
“What?” The blonde whispered, barely audible, clearly not expecting this.   
“I uh... I’m dealing with some stuff here but I’ll be back as soon as-“  
“Faith... you asked me to trust you and I’m really trying here, but the lies stop right now. You’ve been hiding something for weeks now and I want to know what it is” Buffy got up and was back to the combined glare-crossed arms.   
“It has nothing to do with you ! I’m allowed to do shit on my own damn it!” Faith growled, pacing the room. “Why d’ya have to get your nose in my godamn business all the time?” The panic was making her say stupid things but she couldn’t seem to stop herself. “ ‘s that how you trust me? By trackin’ every fucking move I make?”  
“Wow...” Buffy breathed bewildered and let her arms fall limp by her sides. She cautiously eyed Faith who was glaring at her, biting the inside of her bottom lip. “You’ve always been a bad liar Faith. What is it? Are you in danger? You know I can help you, just tell me what it is and we’ll fix it together!” Buffy was growing desperate and Faith rolled her eyes. Why couldn’t she just let it go ?  
“No, I’m ok, I don’t need help, I just need a few days and then I’ll be back”  
“But why?!”  
“Because I’m trying to get Tara back, ok?!” Faith yelled and hung her head defeated.   
“Wh-what?”   
“I... I had a dream, when I was unconscious. I mean I don’t know if it was a dream but... Tara was there and we talked and I’m pretty sure I can bring her back. So I’ve been trying to figure out how, but apparently I can’t see Tara unless I’m dying or some shit, so I summoned D’Hoffryn so he would bring Anya back, and well, also cause Xander had been so frickin’ sad since she died. Anyway, I asked for her help and now I just need her to come back with the info I need so I get back in time and right this wrong” when Faith was done talking she took a apprehensive look at Buffy who was watching her like she sprouted a head or two sometime during the conversation.   
“You brought Anya back?” She eventually asked and sat back as if she wasn’t sure her legs would allow her to stand again in the near future.   
“Well, not me, I did some researches and discovered that the vengeance demons could grant a wish for their community or whatever in order to bring one of their fallen one. I merely suggested it to D’Hoff.” She shrugged, still not daring to come too close to Buffy.   
“And now... you want to go back in time... to save Tara...?”  
“Well, no. I can’t do that. I mean, I probably could, but it’d be too big of a risk, it could change things we don’t want to. So it’s more like taking her just before she’s killed, and replacing her with some charm or whatever. Then taking her to a duplicated parallel universe, so the past doesn’t change our present, and then we come back here. And there’s probably an easier way to do it but I didn’t wanna get Red involved in case it didn’t work out” she took a big breath after that long-ass explanation and stated anxiously at her blonde counterpart. “Say something B”  
“Putting aside the headache you just gave me...” she started and Faith chuckled “you brought Anya back and want to bring Tara back. That’s noble Faith” but Faith could see the rage behind the words. She could see something she hadn’t seen in a long time. And it unpleasantly looked like hate.   
“Before you start punching me again and callin’ me non flattering names... I intended to find a way to bring your mom back...” and as if these were some magical words, Buffy’s eyes softened. “I’ll do everything I can B, I promise... But Anya thinks it won’t change the fact that she’s sick... I don’t know how to help that...” she sighed and saw Buffy’s eyes get teary before the blonde looked away.   
“I thought... I thought that you didn’t even think about her. That you were trying to help everyone but that I wasn’t important enough for you to want to do that for me...” Buffy whispered, tears freely running down her face. Faith walked to her and sat by her side, this time she was the one grabbing her hand and squeezing it.   
“You’re the most important thing for me, B...” Faith said barely above a whisper and Buffy lifted her eyes surprised by the words. Faith bit her lip before brushing her lips lightly against Buffy’s forehead. The gentle move surprised Buffy as much as her words and she stayed silent, looking into her eyes for answers. But it was Faith’s mouth that gave them to her. “Damn B, I spent so many years trying to convince myself that I hated ya just so I wouldn’t have to deal with the fact that I... that I liked ya. And every time ya look at me, or ya take my hand for whatever reason, every time I’m near ya now, it fuckin’ sucks ‘cause I know it’ll never happen. And that’s ok. Kinda made my peace with that a long time ago. But please, just never think that I don’t care, ‘cause that’s all I fuckin’ do, care ‘bout ya...”   
So here it was, she’d said it. She laid herself bare for Buffy to tear apart but it didn’t even feel as horrible as she’d thought it would. In a sense, it almost brought her some peace. All was laid in the open, she didn’t have to be scared anymore about Buffy reading too much into her actions, or into her looks. The blonde was silently crying, her brows slightly furrowed like she was trying to solve a complex puzzle and Faith gently wiped the tears running down her jaws with her thumb.   
“How about ya rest for a while and then we’ll head back to the castle ? If ya still want me to come that is...” she said unsurely.   
Buffy didn’t say anything, she just laid down and closed her eyes, tears still falling. Faith sighed. She didn’t know what to think. Buffy hadn’t freaked out, she hadn’t punched her or yelled at her which was a good thing, but she was kinda catatonic and Faith was the one left with the freaking. She headed to the bathroom, deciding that a shower would help her ease her mind.   
She undressed and got the water running, waiting for a few seconds for it to get hot enough before she entered the shower. The water felt good against her tensed muscles and she closed her eyes, enjoying the feeling.   
She was going back to Cleveland. Now that Buffy knew, there was no point in hiding anymore. She just hoped that her stupid confession wouldn’t put a stop to their new found friendship or whatever that could be called.   
She grabbed her shampoo, putting a good amount of it in the palm of her hand and scrubbed her hair. After doing the same with the body wash, she rinsed and dried herself, cursing out loud when she realized she had no clothes in the bathroom. The towel was so tiny that it would cover her ass or her boobs, but not both and there was no way she’d put on her dirty clothes back. She sighed and peeled her head through the main room, where Buffy was still laying down, but Faith couldn’t see if she was sleeping or not from where she was. She tiptoed her way around the bed, the towel covering only her front -barely- and went to grab her bag.   
“Faith, come lay down for a-“ Buffy didn’t finish her sentence as she lifted her head and stared at Faith, frozen mid-movement, bended over her bag, bare ass half on display.   
Faith felt the rare blush burn her skin and cringed.   
“Sorry I forgot to, uh... would you mind turnin’ around for a bit? » She asked, uncomfortable. She usually wasn’t one for this shyness crap, but after her conversation with the blonde, she was feeling quite vulnerable and wasn’t particularly fond of being almost naked in front of her.   
Buffy turned her head without a word and Faith quickly got dressed in some dark blue jeans and a red tank top. She cleared her throat to indicate she was decent and started gathering her things and putting them in her bag. She was about to retrieve the picture from the nightstand but it was in Buffy’s hand.   
“I really like this picture...” the blonde softly said, fingers running on each face. “It was such a simple moment, but still, I cherish the memory...”  
“Yeah... I feel the same...”   
Buffy handed her the framed picture after a few more seconds of staring at it and Faith shoved it in her bag, looking around to make sure she wasn’t forgetting anything.   
“Ya ready to go?” She finally asked Buffy, turning her eyes back on the green ones that were studying her.   
“You don’t wanna rest a little ?” Buffy shyly asked, not getting up.   
Faith wanted to say yes, she really, really did. But it would be a mistake. She wanted to play pretend, lay close to Buffy and pretend they were something more, but she had finally admitted out loud - and maybe even to herself - that she liked the blonde more than she was probably supposed to, and pretend time was over. Only the harsh reality was left, and she didn’t want to suffer more than she needed to, so she shrugged it off and grabbed her jacket and helmet.   
“Nah, I’ll rest when we’re back in Cleveland. I only have the one helmet but ya can have it. You should probably take the jacket too, it gets cold on the road” she handed the blonde the items before putting on a sweater and opened the door, glancing back one last time. Not that she had anything of that much value.   
They got to the bike and Buffy looked hesitantly at her.   
“I’ve never been on a bike before, Faith...” she sheepishly admitted, biting her lip.   
“ ‘s ok. You hold on tight. If I lean, you lean, you don’t let go and you try to keep as close to me as you can for balance, ok?” Buffy nodded and put on the jacket.   
“Aren’t you going to be cold?”   
“Don’t worry ‘bout me. Heat’s bike will keep me warm” she almost wanted to add that having Buffy so close would insure she wouldn’t be cold but thought better of it and got on the bike, turning in on and revving the motor. She looked over at Buffy who was struggling with the helmet.   
Faith chuckled softly and lightly gripped her arm, turning her around so she could secure the helmet on the blonde’s head. Once it was done, Buffy took a sit behind Faith, putting her arms around her and holding tightly.   
“B... kinda gotta breathe here” she gently took her hands and lessened the hold just enough for air to get through her lungs. “ don’t worry, I’ll go slow” Buffy didn’t answer but hugged her closer. “Ok, we’re ready to go. One last thing, if I tap your leg, means that I’m about to throttle up, so you hold on tight, it’s just so you’re not surprised”. She felt a nod and patted the blonde’s hand that was on her stomach.   
Finally, she took off.


	8. Chapter 8

The ride wasn’t that long but it was a real challenge for Faith. Buffy kept brushing her breast - unintentionally - while adjusting her hands around the brunette and it was slowly driving her over the edge. She breathed a relieved sigh when she finally saw the outlines of the castle.   
She slowed the bike and parked it in front of the entrance stairs.  
« Home sweet home… » Faith said once Buffy had gotten off.  
The blonde didn’t answer and slowly walked to the door, glancing back once to make sure Faith was following.

« Faith! » she saw a blur of chestnut hair and was suddenly engulfed in a bone cracking hug.  
« Dawnie… can’t breathe… » she chuckled when the teenager released her and ruffled her hair, earning a slap and a scowl in return.  
« You slayers are such big babies, I wasn’t even squeezing that tight ! » Dawn scoffed before grinning.   
« Yeah, well ya sister spent 2 hours squeezing me to death, so Imma bit sore right now » she winked and Dawn grimaced.  
« Eww, I so don’t need to know what my sister’s been doing to you, Faith! »  
« Dawn ! » Buffy scoffed, outraged. « That’s so not what she meant ! »  
« Meh, You can take it the way ya want Baby S » Faith smirked, heading for the common room. She didn’t get the chance to put her bag down before she was engulfed in another hug, this one gentler but still powerful. She was dragged away from hearing shot by manly arms.

« Thank you… I don’t even know how I can repay you… but thanks for… doing this… » Xander was watching her intently, his arms still around her.  
« Anya sure can’t keep her mouth shut ! » she groaned and he chuckled.  
« I don’t know why you would want it to be a secret, what you did for me… it deserves a huge thanks party, and I needed to know who I should be throwing it for » he smiled and she just shook her head.  
« No need to thank me man, I happened to come across a book that said it could be done, so I just made sure it would be. No big deal. And I so don’t want a thanks party. Ya can treat me to a burger though, I’m starvin’! »  
« Deal » she patted his arm and saw Willow smiling at her from the entrance of the room.  
« Wha’, wanna hug me too? » she grinned at the redhead and Willow gently put her arms around her.  
« I’m happy you’re a part of this family, Faith. You belong here »  
Faith cleared her throat, the words were said so softly they kinda melted her heart a bit and made her feel uncomfortable. She still wasn’t used to the various displays of affection and kind words the Scoobies liked to throw around, and she sure as hell wasn’t used to them being directed at her. So as usual, she shrugged it off and offered the witch to join them for burgers. Of course Dawn wanted to join, and after 15 minutes they were all ready to go, only Buffy having declined the invitation.

When they were all seated at a table, they began chatting, Dawn and Xander lightly arguing about something or another and Willow used the distraction to lean into Faith and asked quietly.  
« Are you ok? Things with Buff seemed… weird? »  
Faith exhaled and ran her hand though her hair, avoiding the redhead eyes. She couldn’t get in too much detail, but she also felt the strange need to confide in the witch.  
« I… I told her I liked her » she whispered but the table fell silent, 3 pairs of stunned eyes gawking at her. « Jeez… don’t look at me like that, you’re creeping me out ! So I have a heart, who would have fuckin’ guessed, right? » She crossed her arms and looked away. Willow bit her lip and hesitantly put her hand on Faith’s arm.   
« We already knew you have a heart, Faith… » Willow said softly.  
« Yeah, I remember telling you that I have eyes! » Dawn kindly smiled.  
« And I just didn’t say anything ‘cause I know you don’t like to talk about this kind of things » Xander patted her hand.  
« Fuck, you guys all knew? » she only got nods and smiles in response.  
« It-it’s ok Faith… I take it she didn’t react the way you wished? » Willow cringed at her own question.  
« Well the two of you came back together so it couldn’t be that bad? » Xander said, shrugging.  
« And you did say that she was squeezing you ! » Dawn interjected.  
« Guys… She barely talked to me since I told her, I don’t even know why I did… She was lookin’ at me like I kicked her puppy and… well I guess I just thought she should know that I wasn’t out to hurt her. This is fuckin’ stupid… »  
« No Faith, it’s not. See the bright side of things » Xander said.  
« Which is? » Faith raised a brow, arms still crossed.  
« Uh… » he glanced at his two friends for support.  
« You have us. You’re not alone anymore, so just don’t disappear in the middle of the night, ok? » The redhead took Faith’s hand and the brunette shrugged again. That was enough emotional shit to last her a lifetime. She took a bite of her burger, avoiding anyone’s eyes and moved the conversation along, being done with that particular topic.

-

The next day, Faith was getting ready for patrol when she heard her door open and close. She raised her head to see Buffy standing there, a blank look on her face.  
Faith hadn’t seen the blonde since they’d come back to the castle, and she was actually pretty fine with it. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that it had been a mistake. What was she thinking, telling Buffy that she liked her ! God, she sure liked to cause herself more pain than necessary.   
Anya hadn’t heard from her sources yet, and Faith was determined to go out there and find herself some tough demon. She had told Anya her intentions and the vengeance demon, after scolding and yelling had promised to keep an eye on her to bring her back once she’d fall down.  
Faith secured a knife in her boot before standing up and watching Buffy.  
« Where are you going? » The blonde asked quietly.  
« Patrolling »  
« Alone? »  
« Yup » Faith started to get around Buffy to leave the room but a hand on her arm stopped her. She sighed. This was quickly becoming a freaking recurrence. She raised a brow and waited for the head slayer to voice her thoughts.  
« I won’t let you do this »  
« Excuse me? » Faith scoffed and shrugged the hand off of her. « Listen Blondie, I don’t take orders from anyone, and I sure am fuckin’ old enough to go patrolling without you babysitting me ! »  
« I heard you talking with Anya » Buffy simply said and Faith groaned.  
« God ! So you’re spying on me now? Still afraid I’m ‘bout so switch sides again? News flash princess, I’m all about the good deeds and the redemption stuff nowadays, so nothing to worry your pretty little head over »  
“Are you really going to do this?” Before Faith had time to confirm she was, Buffy kept talking “are you really going to tell me you like me and then shut me out, put your walls up again and play this “I don’t give a shit” attitude ?”  
Faith’s eyes widened at hearing the words. She clearly wasn’t expecting for Buffy to address this particular topic, and if she was honest, she didn’t want to. She wanted to pretend it never happened, because if she had felt lighter after saying the words, she now felt like some heavy building had landed on her chest. And she didn’t want to hear Buffy’s lame ass apology for not feeling the same. She didn’t want to hear her say that’s she’s flattered but she only saw her as a friend. That’d be bullshit. They were never friends, and Faith wasn’t even sure if they could be now.   
“Why do you care?” Faith challenged and stared at Buffy.   
“I won’t let you risk your life !” Buffy argued but the abrupt change of topic wasn’t lost on Faith. The brunette smirked and got in Buffy personal space.   
“Again I ask, why do you care ?”  
“Would you stop with the pity party? ‘Nobody cares if I die so I’ll just go alone and risk it all and don’t give a damn how people would feel if anything happens’ !” Buffy mocked but somewhere along her tirade her voice got angrier.   
“Wow calm down Twinkie, will ya ? Nobody’s throwing a pity party here, I’m askin’ ya a simple question and you seem to just struggle for an answer. It’s not even dangerous, Anya will watch my back, so... Why the hell do ya care?”  
“Because I should be the one watching your back, damnit ! God you’re so stupid !”  
And that being said, she rushed out, slamming the door.   
“That went well...” Faith sighed, falling back on the bed.   
Buffy got back in a second later, waving a knife and Faith immediately tensed up.   
“Is this what you want ?! Do you want me to stab you? Will it help?!” Buffy was yelling like a mad woman and quickly the gang rushed to see what the commotion was. They froze by the door, seeing Buffy threatening Faith with a knife. The brunette imperceptibly shook her head to signal them not to move.   
“Easy there, tiger. Been there done that, remember? That’s not us anymore...” Faith said on what she hoped was her most soothing voice, even if she doubted she possessed one.   
“You obviously have a dead wish ! Then who better than me to grant it!” Buffy was crying now and Faith was getting increasingly worried. And if the panicked faces at the door were anything to go by, she wasn’t the only one.   
“No I don’t, B. Ya know what I’d really, really like right now? For ya to come lay down for a while with me. Would you do that?” She softly asked, crossing her fingers in hope it wouldn’t infuriate the blonde some more.   
Buffy blinked at her, as if she first didn’t understand the request. After a few heavy seconds though, the knife fell off her hands and she rushed to the bed, desperately throwing her arms around Faith who held on tight. She motioned with her head for everyone to leave and with stunned looks, they did.   
“ ‘s ok B. It’s been a long couple of days. ‘S ok...” she soothed, running her left hand up and down the blonde’s back while her other hand was in Buffy’s hair.   
The head slayer had her head buried in her neck and she could feel the hot tears running down her skin. Her heart clenched at seeing Buffy like that. “B... tell me what this is all about?” She asked, her voice barely above a whisper. But Buffy didn’t move and she thought she wouldn’t get an answer.   
“I am so confused...” Buffy sniffed before continuing “We spent years trying to kill each other Faith... how can you like me? God, how can I like you...”   
If Buffy said anything after that, Faith wouldn’t know. Her brain froze the moment she heard the words and her mind stopped working on her. She could hear words in a vague distance but they weren’t registering. They didn’t make sense, like they were spoken in some language only Giles would understand. Buffy said she liked her. Didn’t she ? Or was it a question ? Like ‘how could I ever like you?’ That made more sense, but she was pretty sure that’s not the way it was said. Or maybe it was wishful thinking. Yeah, it must be because Buffy was threatening her with a knife no more than 2 minutes ago. Or was it longer than that? But why would Buffy get so mad and threaten to kill her if it wasn’t because she cared. So, that was a messed up way to show someone you care but actually, giving their history, it was probably the most logical way for them.   
“Faith? Faith? Faith!” She heard louder and she blinked a couple of times before realizing that she’d been crushing the blonde in her arms. She moved to let go but Buffy stayed in her arms. “Do you think I’m crazy?” She asked and Faith smirked.   
“Well, some people would have probably locked ya up with a nice straitjacket after a show like this, but ya know me, I’m probably certifiably insane, so... nah, don’t think you’re nuts. Ya just lost it cause ya never knew how to deal with my shit. Don’t blame ya... don’t know how to deal with it most of the times...” Faith shrugged and she felt Buffy’s hand softly ran up her arm before settling on her jaw. The blonde blinked and slowly closed the distance.   
Faith gently stopped her before their lips could touch, and Buffy opened the eyes she had closed when Faith was still talking. She looked at the dark slayer in confusion.   
“Don’t B, please. It doesn’t mean the same to ya as it means to me, and I’m gonna wake up in the mornin’ with an empty bed and a broken heart. Don’t think I could take it” that’s the more honest she’d been in her all life, up to par with her stupid love confession. Wasn’t it another one though? God, when did she turn into such an emotional sap ? She sighed and bit her lip, avoiding the sparkling green eyes in front of her, so close, yet so far.   
“How do you know what it means to me?” Buffy whispered but Faith didn’t have an answer. “I... god Faith I’ve been thinking about it non stop since we left the motel. At first I was in shock, I mean, that was the last thing I ever expected to hear from you, and can you blame me? We spent years fighting, trying to kill and destroy each other. Even when we were fighting on the same side we couldn’t get along, and I know that this one’s on me...” she took a breath, adjusting her position but staying close to Faith, her hand still unconsciously stroking her jaw. “It kinda came out of nowhere for me! But then, I couldn’t stop thinking about it, the flirting, the sexual innuendos, the light touching... And I mean, of course it had crossed my mind in the past ! Just, look at you, how could it not ! But- but as long as it was just in my mind, or-or in some occasional dream, it didn’t mean anything. But now it’s real, Faith! And you ! You asshole you wanna go out there and risk getting killed before I even know what the hell is that weird feeling I get every time I’m close to you like that !” She exhaled, closing her eyes and Faith blinked, her hand moving from Buffy’s shoulder to her neck without her own consent. “So yeah... I got crazy for a second here, because I can’t lose you, I’ve lost enough Faith, I think- I think I deserve to be happy for once. And if it’s with you, then it’ll only mean that fate has a freaking sense of humor” she smiled. “But I can’t have that if you go out there and get killed. And I know you’re a good slayer, one of the best actually, and I know you’re doing this for all the good reasons, but I’m allowed to be selfish once in a while and I’m gonna use that card now. Maybe I’m crazy... but I think we could be happy, together, and I won’t let anything get in the way, not even you Faith. So you said it wouldn’t mean the same to me as it would to you ? Well you’re right, cause I think this means way more to me...” 

Maybe Buffy wasn’t done talking, maybe she still had interesting things to say and Faith took a mental note to ask her about it later. But right now, she just closed the distance and kissed the blonde. She softly brushed her lips against Buffy’s, one hand still on her neck, the other on her waist. God, she was finally kissing Buffy Summers. And Buffy was kissing her back. It was soft, and slow, and yet so damn powerful. She’d never felt like that while kissing someone, or doing anything else, really. She had always thought that their first kiss would be in the heat of action, passionate, bruising, maybe after sparring or after patrol, but the reality of it was completely different and felt so much better. She felt Buffy trying to deepen the kiss, her tongue caressing her bottom lip and she granted access, involuntarily moaning both from pleasure and surprise at the blonde being the one to initiate it.   
Buffy was surprised too. She was actually stunned by the tenderness Faith was showing. The slayer who was always about the get some and get gone was kissing her with so much restraint. And it made all of it oh so good. The kiss was perfect, Faith was perfect, her hands applying a light and pleasurable pressure, her lips so full and soft that Buffy felt like she’d never get enough of them. She didn’t even stop to think that she’d never kissed a girl before because this kiss was beyond genders, it went beyond humans, and slayers, and vampires or demons. It transcended everything she ever knew and it almost scared her.   
After what felt like an eternity, breathing eventually became an issue and they reluctantly broke apart, but not before exchanging a few quick and light kisses.   
“Wow...” Buffy breathed, at a loss for words.   
“Yeah...You so did this to keep me here tonight!” Faith joked, needing to lighten the situation because her heart was pounding in her chest, so loud actually that Buffy could probably hear it.   
“Sure... asshole” Buffy grinned and the brunette lightly slapped her arm before retrieving her position on her neck, lightly stroking the skin there. “Did it work?” Buffy asked after a minute of silence, hesitation in her voice.   
Faith closed her eyes before answering “it did...”  
Buffy moved them both so they were lying face to face on the bed, a hand under her head and the other softly moving up and down Faith’s side, the dark slayer mirroring her position.   
“I... I can hear your heart beating...” Buffy whispered, as if she was afraid to break the moment.   
“Which is prob’ly a good sign, right ?” Faith teased, grinning. When Buffy didn’t answer with a smile or a laugh, she sighed and started to play with her forefinger ring, her hand still on Buffy’s hip. “I’m not really used to this... I... god... I imagined this moment so many times and now that it’s here, I’m as much excited as I’m terrified...”  
“So am I...”  
“Let’s just go to sleep, yeah?”   
“Really?” Buffy lifted her head, surprised.   
“Yeah... no need to rush things...” Faith almost shyly smiled and the blonde laid her head back, this time closer to Faith’s. She hesitated a second before leaning in and softly kissed the brunette, keeping it light and short, but it still sent shivers through both their bodies.   
“You’ll be here in the morning, right?” The head slayer softly asked, immediately scolding herself for asking it.   
“Yeah...” Faith breathed and scooted Buffy closer, putting her arm around her.   
She couldn’t help to ask herself what the hell she was doing, she was snuggling, in a bed, with Buffy. It seemed surreal but the soft caresses on her back were sign enough that this was really happening. She wanted to dance and she wanted to bolt. She felt a strange feeling deep inside her core -that felt like happiness but it didn’t happen enough in her life for her to be sure - but it terrified her at the same time. She could gain everything... but still, what she feared was to loose it all.   
“ ‘m not going anywhere Faith...” Buffy mumbled in a sleepy voice.   
Faith smiled and held her just a bit tighter. Maybe it was time she learned to trust someone, and Buffy seemed like the perfect choice for that.


	9. Chapter 9

“Here !” Buffy barged in her room the next afternoon, a sheet of paper in one hand and a vial in the other.   
They had woken up tangled in one another in the morning and had stayed in bed for a good hour after that, Buffy just basking and Faith trying to convince herself she wasn’t dreaming. They had shared a few kisses, but had kept it short, especially Faith, who didn’t want it to turn into a quick meaningless fuck. After that, Buffy had gotten up saying she had stuff to do and had left the room. She had come back in less than a minute after, had stopped in the doorway, shrugging before walking back to Faith to kiss her. Just the thought of it made Faith smile. And then frown. She was acting like some high school girl with a crush on the quarterback, for fuck’s sake !

“You’re gonna drink this” Buffy said, jiggling the sheet of paper, “I’m gonna read this” this time she showed the vial and Faith raised a brow in amusement “and then you’ll sleep. Before you ask, Anya was the one concocting it, I didn’t tell Willow. So yeah, you sleep, you talk to Tara or whatever and then you come back. And I’m here all the while to make sure you’re ok” Buffy nodded at her own words and Faith bit her tongue to avoid making a joke about how she was supposed to drink a piece of paper.   
Instead she just grinned and said “Yes mam!” To which Buffy glared and tossed her the vial.   
Faith opened it and drank the contents, grimacing.   
“They were short of strawberry flavor?”   
“Hush, now the incantation. This is Latin, I need to concentrate !” Buffy frowned, mouthing the words like she was making sure she read them right.   
“I have a weird feeling that I’m about to be turned into a frog”  
“Faith!” Buffy complained and the brunette faked zipping her lips with a grin.   
She laid down on the bed - no need for a concussion because of a stupid fall - eyes closed, and listened as Buffy said the words in what she supposed was Latin but in a way that clearly sounded like nothing she’d ever heard Willow or Giles speak. When nothing seemed to happen she opened them and sighed, ready to tease the blonde about her foreign language skills. Except that she wasn’t in her bed anymore, nor in the castle. But she wasn’t in Tara’s dorm room either.   
“God B, where the hell did ya send me!” She groaned, looking around.   
“It’s my family house” Tara said as Faith jumped. “Sorry” the blonde smiled sheepishly and Faith rolled her eyes. Except the blonde wasn’t really blonde anymore, her hair was more chestnut, and Faith noticed that Tara didn’t stutter this time. She might have sensed Faith’s questioning because she answered it. “It’s not your projection of me. It’s Buffy’s. I’m like the last time she saw me”  
“Cool, not gonna question it. And I probably should make this quick cause I have a feeling Blondie will be rippin’ me outta here in no time”  
Again Tara had a secret smile but Faith chose to ignore it before laying her plan to the witch.   
“So, imma on the right track ? That’s doable, right?” Faith asked after she was done explaining it all.   
“Why do you want me back so much, Faith?” Tara asked, genuine curiosity on her face.   
“ ‘cause that’s not fair ! It wasn’t your time ! You were killed by some stupid asshole who wasn’t even tryinna’ shoot ya !”  
“Accidents happen...”  
“Not like this, not cause of a slayer, it shouldn’t” Maybe Tara thought she was talking about Buffy, but she was talking about herself, really. She should have been there, it wouldn’t have happened. “Willow needs you, the Powers that be owe us that ! That’s for the greater good damnit !”   
Again, Tara smiled. Faith was growing impatient, she could start to feel a tug at her being and she knew her time there was coming to an end.   
“Just tell me if my plan could work T!”  
“When you do things for the right reason, you’re always rewarded” Tara answered cryptically, putting her hand on Faith’s face. The moment she felt it, she involuntarily closed her eyes and when she opened them, she was back in her room. Buffy was pacing furiously and Faith took a minute just to watch her.   
The blonde was mumbling and shaking her head every now and then.  
« I swear Faith, if you don’t wake up… always playing the hero… I’m gonna knock you out myself, oh you’ll spend time with Tara alright ! »  
« B ? Remember that convo about a straitjacket ? You’re developing new symptoms » Faith joked and saw Buffy take a relieved sight.   
« You’re an idiot »  
« An idiot you kinda like, right? » The brunette grinned and Buffy softly smiled, sitting on the bed next to the other slayer.  
« So, is it gonna work? »  
« Who knows ? Tara gave some cryptic shit about things being done for a good reason for them to work. Is it a good reason? I mean, maybe it’ll be seen as a selfish one? I wanna see people happy » Faith shook her head hearing those words leaving her mouth. A couple of years ago, she had been trying to kill those same people.  
« Wanting people to be happy is not selfish, Faith » Buffy hesitantly took her hand and was happy when Faith didn’t pull back right away. She still wasn’t sure how to act around the brunette, or what they were really. Faith wasn’t one for relationships, but Buffy herself wasn’t one to just fool around. Yet, Faith had been the one to offer to take things slow, that had to mean something right? She was put out of her reverie by her now cold hand. Faith was running hers through her hair, the other one playing with the same ring as always.  
« I dunno… People rarely want things in all selflessness. There’s always some compensation that benefits them. »  
« That’s the most depressing thing I’ve ever heard… »  
« In your line of work? Doubt it » Faith joked before turning serious again. « It’s true, though. And I don’t wanna risk things because I’m being selfish »  
« Then tell me, Faith, why is it so important to you? » Buffy softly asked and saw a mirthless smile on Faith’s lips.  
« ‘cause I’m selfish, B. Tara asked me the same thing, and the real reason is not as noble as I wish it was. I should have been there, next to ya, fighting on your side, it woulda never happened if I hadn’t been some evil skank doin’ her time in jail » She sighed, lowering her head.  
Buffy knew she had to trade carefully there, it was a sensitive topic for the brunette and she didn’t want their past to get in the way of what she knew she had to say.  
« You don’t know that, Faith. Maybe it wouldn’t have happened or maybe something else would have. Maybe it would have been Dawn, or Will, or Xander. You can’t think like that, you can’t beat yourself over everything that happened while you were locked up. The past is just that, the past, now you have to move ahead, you have to forgive yourself, because I know we all did here… »  
Faith nodded and Buffy chose to let it go for now, even though she could see that her counterpart wasn’t really convinced. « And I think you’re being too hard on yourself, because I know you, and I know there has to be another reason »  
Faith chuckled, but again, there was no humor there. « Yeah… and that reason is probably worse than the first one… » Buffy stayed quiet, looking at her softly and waiting patiently for Faith to elaborate. « I just… I want things to be the way they were, I wanna be able to be a part of it all, the all Scooby Gang, with everyone having things the way they should have always been… »  
« Why would that be selfish? » Buffy frowned, not understanding.  
« Because I’m not only doin’ it for you guys, I’m doin’ it ‘cause I want to belong to this family, and it’s not complete right now ! I… fuck, I don’t know B… I remember how things were when I first came to Sunnydale, things were simple, well maybe not simple, but none of us had went through half of what we went through this last couple of years. I want that feeling back… »  
« I want that too… » Buffy sighed, taking a hold of the brunette’s hand once more, holding on tightly but gently. « I don’t think it’s selfish Faith, I think it’s human… »  
« But will human be considered a good reason, an honorable motive ? »  
« I can’t think of a better reason to do things » The blonde smiled and Faith gave her a little grin in response. « And, in a professional vision of things, Tara is a great asset for the good fight, how could her return not be granted? »  
« Plus, I balanced the good and evil, after all, Anyanka is back » Faith winked, earning her a light slap on the arm. « What? It’s true! We gave the bad guys one back, it’s only right for us to get one of ours! »  
« Sweetie, don’t repeat that to anyone, ok? » Buffy shook her head, trying to hide her amused smile.  
« Sweetie, uh? We’re already on pet names? ‘cause I think ‘B’ is the best I could probably do » Faith grinned and Buffy just rolled her eyes, choosing to ignore her. « I’m kidding… baby » she chuckled and this time Buffy hit her arm quite forcefully. « Hey now ! Domestic violence, really B? » She shook her head in a dramatic manner and even added a ‘tsst’ in the end. « Just because you have force doesn’t mean you have to use it »  
Her laughs were buried under the pillow the blonde threw at her.

-

« You ready Faith? » Anya asked a few days later, as she was making the final preparations in the brunette’s bedroom. They were ready to go with the last phase of the plan. It had taken longer than Faith would have liked, but preventing the others, and especially Willow, from knowing what they were doing was more difficult than she would have thought. Of course it would have been easier from her motel, but she was glad Buffy had come and get her. Things were doing good between them, Buffy was still sleeping in her own bedroom, and it was actually Faith’s doing. She wanted for all of this to be over before things turning more serious. And by serious she meant before taking things to the bedroom. All of Faith’s life had been meaningless fucks with nobodies, throwing them out just after, or running away if it wasn’t her own room. She wanted things to be different with the blonde, and she didn’t want to start something in case she didn’t come back. Of course it was a bit late to say that, because they had nevertheless started something. The kisses shared, the sweet smiles, the longing stares, they all spoke volume and everyone around them was acting suspicious. They had tried to stay discreet around their friends, but Faith could see they were staring at them more curiously this last few days. After the knife incident, maybe they were acting a bit too friendly and it was rising questions.  
« Yup » she shrugged and Anya rolled her eyes. But it was Buffy, of course, who was the first to talk.  
« Don’t give us the nonchalant act Faith ! This is serious, you have to be careful there, remember that we’re not… uh… really friendly back then, so avoid us at all cost, you’re in jail, you can’t be seen by anyone »  
« Yeah, yeah, I know B, chill. It’ll be fine, I have Anya’s charm, I’ll be all invisible ! »  
« Ok Faith, repeat one more time what you have to do » Anya interrupted before the slayers could get into some stupid argument.  
« You send me back the day T was shot. I have to wait to see it all happen with my own eyes in order for T’s charm to work. Then I drink the weird stuff to come back. When it’s done, you send me back again just before it happens, I say the spell and abracadabra Tara is replaced by the charm created from my memories »  
« And where will the real Tara go? » Buffy asked.  
« Oh, she’ll go to my dimension, it was the only one I could be sure to get right for both her and Faith, and it will be way much easier than send them to some parallel universe like we had previously discussed » Anya explained, unaffected.  
« You’re sending them to a demon dimension? Why not bring them both here?» Buffy jumped, not being aware of that part of the plan.  
« ’s cool B, D’Hoff’ knows we’re comin’, nothing is gonna happen » Faith reassured.  
« It better not, or you vengeance demons are in for a lot of pain » she warned Anya who just stared at her expressionless.   
« Tara would need to drink the potion to be able to come back here, and as it’s not possible, Faith will have to spray her with this » Anya said, handing a dark vial to Faith. « This liquid brings anyone who is in contact with it to our dimension. Anyway, after that? »  
« After Tara gets there, D’Hoff will tell ya so you can send me there too. Once it’s done, you make sure nothing has changed in the past and you teleport us back here »  
« It seems pretty easy » The blonde slayer thought aloud.  
« It’s not ! You have no idea what I had to do to get my hands on the spells and ingredients needed for this ! » Anya huffed and Faith cringed at the staring contest between the two blondes.  
« Ok girls, I’m ready. Anh’ send me back to the past ! » she grinned but Buffy stopped the vengeance demon before she could start, which earned her a groan. The blonde slayer slowly approached Faith and took her hand.  
« Be careful, don’t do anything stupid, and if there’s a risk for you, you give up and you come back, ok? »  
« Don’t worry, B. I’ll be fine. » Faith smiled before hesitantly closing the distance and softly kissed the blonde. They tried to ignore Anya’s squeak and her « I knew it! » and just stared at one another. « There’s more where this one came from, I’ll make sure to be able to show ya when I get back » and with that, Faith took her position at the end of her bed and nodded at Anya.  
She smiled at Buffy, trying to hide the emotions she was feeling. She never meant to lie to the blonde, but the truth was she wasn’t going back to Tara, at least, not right now. She had a first stop to make and this one took place a few months before that. She just hopped everything would work out in the end. If not for her, for her friends, and for Buffy…  
Anya started to chant and Buffy blew Faith a kiss, to which she answered with a wink, before she felt everything around her spinning and slowing disappearing.

-

When the dizziness finally faded, she realized she was standing in the middle of Buffy’s old living room. And it was probably a good thing she was invisible, because a few feet away, the blonde and Dawn were on the couch with their mother showing off some dress while they poked fun at her. Faith smiled at the scene. Buffy had never told her much about their mom, but Dawn had retold her this particular scene once, during an emotional conversation. She chuckled at the ‘mom-ish’ comment and took the time to glance around. The room looked so different from the last time she’d been there. It lacked the various sleeping-bags and noisy potentials around. It was peaceful and she almost felt wrong to witness this family scene. But it was for a good cause, she remembered herself.  
Joyce was freaking out about the date and Buffy was reminding her mom of her own shitty love life, so Faith used the time to check her spells and potions in her duffel bag. It was a bit early for her to make a move, but she had to use the story Dawn had told her to guide Anya during the sending-her-back process.   
She carefully avoided past-Buffy all afternoon, fearing the blonde would somehow be able to sense her presence. She actually sighed her relief when Buffy left to go to some party and immensely enjoyed watching Dawn torture Giles while Joyce was enjoying her date. She had actually thought about making her move before that, but she wanted for Buffy to be home to be able to take care of things.  
When Giles was finally about to leave, complaining about Dawn’s choice of music and food, Faith saw Joyce walking to the house, a big smile on her face.  
The brunette laughed as the Summers mom teased her older daughter about leaving her bra in her date’s car. Faith would have never thought Joyce had it in her but it was good seeing her so careless and happy. And seeing Buffy like that, she wished the blonde could have been there to live that moment again. Hopefully, she’d soon be able to live a thousand more.  
Once Buffy left for her room, she watched Joyce smile, shaking her head while hanging her scarf and walking to the kitchen.  
Joyce was an amazing mom, so much better that Faith’s, and the dark slayer felt that she deserved so much more that the fate she had. It was time to do something about it.  
As Joyce took the first steps on the stairs, Faith tripped her, careful to make sure in was harmless but would still force her to go to the hospital. Her hope was that with her medical history, they’d do some tests and notice whatever was wrong before it was too late.  
Buffy came running down when she heard the commotion and rushed to her mom.  
« Mom ! You ok? Don’t move ! I’ll call an ambulance »  
Joyce was slightly bleeding and Faith cringed, feeling bad that she was the responsible for this, and she actually hoped she hadn’t worsened things.  
« I’m ok sweetie, I think I tripped, I don’t know on what though »  
« You were probably still grinning like a fool and wasn’t watching your step » Buffy joked, helping her mom up. « But just to be on the safe side, I think we should go check that you’re ok »  
« I promise I feel fine »  
Faith frowned, but she shouldn’t have worried, because Joyce had a stubborn daughter.  
« And that’s what the doctor will confirm once we’re there. Now put on a jacket, I’ll go get Dawn »

Again, Faith sighed with relief as the three made their way to the car. She hesitated to follow them to make sure Joyce was taken care of correctly, but seeing the time she already spent here, she knew she could just hope for the best and go back, before she stayed trapped in this timeline. After one last glance around, she took a vial out of her bag and gulped it down before reading the appropriate spell. Again, she felt the room start to spin and she took a strong hold on her bag, closing her eyes hooping to lessen the sickness feeling.  
When she opened them, she was in a room upstairs, what she guessed was Willow and Tara’s. She watched as Willow put on a blouse and kissed Tara. The couple exchanged a few words that put a smile on Faith. She couldn’t believe that their happiness would be taken away in a few minutes. She could see the love and tenderness between the two witches and her heart clenched when she heard a loud ‘bang’, a bullet lodging in Tara’s chest.  
« Your shirt… » were her last words before she fell to the floor, Willow rushing to her.  
Faith wanted to cast her eyes away, she didn’t want to see the pain, the despair on Willow’s eyes, but she had to see the all scene to be able to duplicate it. Willow was uncontrollably sobbing, repeating ‘no, no, no’ again and again. But soon the pain turned into anger. Her eyes became pitch black and Faith felt a chill run down her body.   
She could hear a commotion outside and knew that Buffy had been shot too, but she couldn’t think about that right now.  
Willow was still crying, calling Tara’s name and begging her to come back. The room suddenly darkened and Willow started to talk to some weird spirit, begging it to bring her lover back. But the spirit was having none of that, stating stuff about a human death by human hand and natural order. When Willow shouted, the thing growled and disappeared, leaving a heartbroken and devastated witch. But the only thing Faith could see in the redhead eyes when she left the room was rage.  
The slayer realized she was slightly shaking, her eyes glued on Tara’s still body. She knew right there that whatever the reason, she was doing the right thing. She wished she could erase the pain from Willow’s memory in the same way she hopped she did with Buffy and Dawn, but unlike Joyce, Tara was indeed an asset for them, and changing this particular event could change a lot of things in the future, and it could turn out disastrous for them. So instead, she had to save the witch but still make everyone believe she had indeed been killed.  
Seeing that no one was coming back, she was about to read the spell to go back when she remembered something. Dawn. The kid had found Tara’s lifeless body while everyone was out. She couldn’t change that. It had to happen in the same way it did. She would have to wait for the body to be taken away. She sighed, running her hand through her hair. The last thing she wanted was to stay here staring at a dead body, especially Tara’s. She kept reminding herself that it’d all be over soon, that everyone would finally be happy. Herself included. She tried to think of Buffy’s smile, the few kisses they had shared, the blonde’s words about how much it meant to her. Faith still couldn’t believe where they were now. They had tried to kill each other, they had fought, they had argued so much, and now, they were… what were they? Faith sure didn’t know. Was she really girlfriend material? She sure never thought so, but if she could be, there was no one but the other slayer to make that happen.   
She didn’t know how long had passed but she finally heard Dawn calling for Buffy downstairs.   
She braced herself for what was to come, and avoided looking at the teenager. Aside from the fact that she had to make sure the charm would duplicate exactly what happened, she didn’t want to see the pain in the Baby Summers face. When she heard the quiet gasp, she clenched her teeth and forced herself to keep her eyes opened.  
Dawn sat in the corner of the room and cried. For hours she just stayed there and cried. Faith would have given anything to be able to take her in her arms and hold her, but she had to stay an invisible and useless spectator of this horrible scene. Even if just this once. Next time, she’d save the witch.

Night came and Dawn was still sitting there, silent tears coming down her face. Faith remembered the teenager telling her about finding the body, but she never knew she had stayed so long next to her, waiting for someone to finally get there.  
« Dawn? » she heard Buffy voice calling from downstairs and exhaled. Finally.  
« I didn’t want to leave her alone » Dawn said in a voice so small that Faith had to strain her ear to hear the words. But Buffy heard them.  
« Dawn, sweetheart, come on » the blonde kneeled next to her sister. « Honey, we need to get out of here, okay? » Her voice shook for her next words, and Faith could hear the tears in them. « Dawn, sweetheart, be strong for me, okay? »

Faith couldn’t do this anymore, she covered her ears, trying to ignore the two broken girls.  
Eventually Buffy managed to take her sister away and the brunette heard Xander making a call to the coroner.  
As soon as they took the body, Faith took her spell out and drank the vial’s contents, she didn’t want to spend a second more here. How they all lived through this, she didn’t know. Just witnessing it made her feel sick.  
She vaguely heard the remaining of the Scoobies quietly arguing downstairs about justice, and limits, but she shut them out and read the Latin words, once again feeling the room spinning and disappearing around her.

-

The moment she realized she was back in the castle, she glanced at Anya to confirm Joyce was ok. Anya gave her a small smile and slightly nodded her head. The vengeance demon and Faith would be the only ones who would know what had really happened, everyone else’s memories had changed the moment Faith had changed the past. They would never know what had happened the first time around.   
Anya didn’t seem to be jumping off joy, but Faith assumed that it wasn’t in her nature.

« So, did it work? Will you be able to bring Tara back? » she heard Buffy ask and turned to look at her. The blonde was standing a few feet away, one eyebrow raised and her arms crossed. She clearly meant business. Faith had thought that their new relationship would have stopped that kind of look to be directed at her, but she guessed that she had been gone some time and had probably worried the head slayer. It didn’t matter though, Mrs Summers was ok, the first step of the plan had gone perfectly fine. She shook the images of Tara’s body out of her mind and gave the blonde a smile.  
« Think so. I saw all of it and I think that’d be enough for the charm to work. Was I gone long? » she asked Buffy but the blonde only shrugged. Ok, so maybe she was more pissed than Faith had initially thought. « So uh… you mad? » she asked hesitantly.  
« Mad? Why would I be mad? » the blonde asked confused.  
« Well, I was kinda hoping I’d get a hug, maybe a kiss? » Faith wriggled her eyebrows and grinned. Buffy looked at her strangely before rolling her eyes.  
« Ok, first, ew, and secondly, please keep your innuendos to yourself, Faith »  
Anya cleared her throat, getting the slayers attention.  
« Faith and I need to prepare things for her next jump in time, so Buffy, you can go » The demon simply stated. Buffy glanced curiously at Faith one more time before leaving the room without another word. Faith frowned before turning toward Anya.  
« Ok, what the hell? Was I gone for days or what? She can’t be that mad, right? »  
« Uh… Faith I… look I don’t really know how much orgasms you two had been having together before this but uh… apparently, it never happened this time around »  
Faith stayed motionless, a disbelieving look on her face. It couldn’t be right. Maybe Anya was wrong, maybe she missed something.  
« Wha-what do you mean it didn’t happen? »  
« I don’t really know, I don’t have any idea what their new memories are, but I knew something changed the moment you saved Joyce. Before, Buffy kept talking about you, how worried she was, how she hoped you were ok and bla-bla, honestly she wouldn’t shut up about you. And then, she said she felt dizzy and had to sit down. After that, she stopped talking about you, and when I asked her about it, she said you were a big girl and that things would be ok and all. It kinda made me think something had changed… »  
Faith sighed and ran her hand through her hair, probably more roughly than necessary. Of course. Karma was a bitch. She couldn’t get everything. She shook her head, defeated. She should have known things would turn to shit, it was all too perfect for it to last.  
« Is her mom at least ok?  
« Yes, she’s actually with Giles in England apparently. Buffy didn’t want her to risk getting hurt during the battle against the First so Giles found her some secured place there. And now he’s there with her. That’s what I gathered from my weird questioning with Buffy, who thought I was some stupid amnesiac by the way » Anya groaned. Faith just nodded absentmindedly, her thoughts focused on a different matter.  
« Good… good… Is it bad that I wished I could have forgotten it all too? » She chuckled somberly, of all people, talking about that with the vengeance demon felt really crazy. But still, she couldn’t stop herself. « I mean, if it never happened for her, isn’t it fucked up for me to remember it? What kinda mind fuck torture is that? But well… » she sighed, shaking her head again. « I guess what’s done is done. Let’s focus on getting Tara back… just… one question Anh’ » she waited for Anya to look at her before asking hesitantly « the others… the Scooby gang… are they… are we…? »  
Anya seemed to understand because she finally gave her a real smile « Yes, they all love you. I don’t know what element changed things between you and Buffy, but she did mention something about how close you now were with all of them, so I guess it didn’t change things between you guys »  
Faith gave her a weak smile, at least she didn’t loose it all. She nodded her head and started to retell what she had seen about Tara’s death. 

While Anya was preparing the charm, Faith let her mind wander. So Buffy was back to ignoring her. What Faith couldn’t get her head around was what had triggered this change. Did Buffy’s feelings only happen because of her mom’s death? Was it because Faith had been willing to change that for her? As she thought about the last week, she realized what had possibly changed.

If Joyce dying had never happened, Faith probably never had a reason to tell her how much she cared, so that would explain why Buffy had acted in such a detached way. What had made Faith open up was the fact that Buffy had thought she didn’t care enough about her to think about bringing her mom back. Yet, in this reality, she had no reason to. She had probably admitted she was trying to bring Tara back though, which would explain why she’d come back to the castle with the blonde. If nothing else had changed, of course. It was actually a game of guesses for now, she would have to question people around in order to get some answers. Man, this was messed-up.   
Buffy and herself were probably in the same place as they were after the blonde had confronted her at the motel. Back to talking terms, but still a bit wary of each other. The conversation had been going well, even before Faith admitted her feelings for the blonde, but it was nowhere near what it had been this last few days. How was she supposed to be kissing the blonde a couple hours ago and act like it never happened now? Still, at least Buffy didn’t seem as angered as she was after the kitchen incident, they were more or less back on track, maybe Faith could try to get things back to the way they were before she went back in time. Still, she had one more jump to make before worrying about it.

« You didn’t tell me if I was gone long? I spent some hours in the past to bring Joyce back, and then some more to witness Tara’s dea- well you know »  
« You were gone 3 days » Anya replied in the most natural way.  
« 3 days?! Fuck… How did ya explain it to people here? »  
« Uh? Oh, we just said you were running an errand in LA. The little brat was actually pissed you left without a word, but I think Buffy told her you had to leave in the middle on the night. We’ve been taking turns to come to your room and wait, to make sure you wouldn’t come back to an empty place » she grinned, proud of herself.  
Just as Faith was about to answer with more questions, Buffy entered the room.  
« Are we ready yet? » the head slayer asked, going back to her spot on the sofa, under Faith’s window.  
Faith looked at her, feeling her heart clench a bit. She wanted nothing more than to take the blonde in her arms, but she didn’t have the right to do so anymore. Buffy would probably think she’d lost it. Did it really matter though? She could still pretend it was the result of some weird reaction to the time travel. She took a hesitant step toward Buffy, and again the head slayer looked at her strangely.  
« You ok, Faith? » Buffy asked, frowning slightly.  
« Get up » Faith only replied.  
« What? »  
« Get up » Faith repeated, reaching for Buffy’s hand and helping her up. After a second more of debating with herself, she slowly put her arms around Buffy, trying to ignore the fact that Anya was still in the room.  
« Ok, you’re creeping me out now. It’ll be ok, Faith » Buffy tried to reassure in what she hoped was a soothing voice but came out more shaky than intended. She was taken aback by the gesture, Faith was usually the one feeling uncomfortable with hugs or any kind of affection display, and here she was, holding her like it would be the last time. When the brunette didn’t move, Buffy unconsciously tightened a bit her hold. « Are you trying to put the moves on me or something? » She joked, trying to lighten the heavy atmosphere. She felt Faith smile before pulling away.  
« Or something » Faith cryptically answered before walking back to her place at the end of her bed. « I’m ready Anh’. One last thing. If anything was to happen to me… Just… shut your mouth, ‘k? » she warned Anya, and the vengeance demon didn’t need clarifications on what she was referring to. She simply frowned but nodded.  
« What are you talking about? » Buffy asked, but she only got a wink in answer as Anya began chanting again. « Faith, wait ! What are you talking about, why wouldn’t you come back? Faith ! »  
But it was too late, the brunette disappeared a second later, leaving only the two blondes in the room. « What was she talking about Anya? »  
« I guessed it was just her covering all options, you know, we can never be too cautious » Anya shrugged, feigning ignorance.  
« That’s not what I mean. What are you not supposed to tell? » Buffy glared at the demon who unconsciously took a step back.  
« Buffy, as much scary as you are, the dark slayer scares me way more, so stop asking questions and just wait for her to return. Then you’ll grill her all you want » Anya firmly answered, and Buffy could only sigh and sit back on the couch, waiting for Faith to return.


	10. Chapter 10

Again, Faith found herself in Willow’s room, the same scene as before playing in front of her eyes. The couple was sharing a hug and Faith hurriedly took out the spell and vial for the charm and for Tara’s teleportation. She had to use them at the right moment, otherwise she’d risk sending Tara’s dead body to Anya’s demon dimension, and everything would forever be lost. She only had one shot so she took a big breath and read the spell words. She waited to hear the third gun shot before she threw the dark liquid on Tara while repeating the Latin words over and over. Less than a second later, she saw Tara get shot.  
« Your shirt » the witch said again, but Faith could hear that her voice sounded nothing like the last time. It was more anguish, probably the way Faith had interpreted it.  
Guessed it worked… Now, she only had to wait for Anya to teleport her to the vengeance demons dimension.   
This time, she did look away when Willow started crying and silently apologized. It’d be over soon, Willow would get Tara back, and hopefully, she’d get Buffy…

-

« Oh my God… » Anya whispered.   
« What? » Buffy jumped and rushed to Anya’s side, a worried look on her face.  
« She made it… Faith saved Tara… » The demon said, astonished.  
« That’s great! Wait, you didn’t think she would? »  
Actually, Anya never thought she’d be able to save neither women, especially Joyce. When she realized the brunette had indeed succeeded in altering the past and preventing Mama Summers’ death, she had to admit she was impressed. And now, she had brought Tara back.  
« Honestly, I thought she was delusional. But it couldn’t hurt to try, and now she actually made it ! » Anya smiled, humans would never cease to amaze her.  
« I can’t wait to see Willow’s face ! Now bring them back ! » Buffy squealed, excited.  
« Wait, first I have to bring Faith back from the past »  
« And send her to your demon dimensions I know… » Buffy groaned, not really pleased with that part of the plan.  
« Yes, now hush » Anya instructed, closing her eyes in concentration.   
After half a minute, Buffy grew uneasy at the frown on the demon’s face.  
« What’s wrong ? » The slayer asked in a small voice.  
« I… I swear she should already be with Tara and D’Hoffryn, but I can’t sense her there… »  
« But you teleported her, right? And why couldn’t she drink another potion and use the same spell as last time? »  
Anya sighed, exasperated by all the questioning Buffy was always doing.  
« Because, the ingredients are not easy to find, and I wouldn’t have energy to do this more than once, so Faith and I decided she would use the potion and spell once, and that I would teleport her the second time. Which I did ! But for some reason I can’t understand, she didn’t get where she was supposed to… » Anya said flippantly, which unnerved Buffy even more.  
« Then where the hell is she? »

-

Faith suddenly felt dizzy and clenched her eyes shut, her stomach churning. Anya was probably teleporting her and hell, this felt way worse than the spell did. When everything finally stopped spinning she opened her eyes, expecting to find herself in front of Tara and D’Hoffryn. But she wasn’t. She definitely wasn’t… Everything was dark, but she could make out stones and rocks, some strange boulders and a weird looking edifice. She took a look around and dodged just in time to avoid being impaled. Some ugly demon was facing her, waving a sword around. She took a couple of steps back, glancing around for some weapon. She never took one with her to begin with, never expecting to find herself in a situation where she’d need it. She was usually prepared for anything, but the whole ordeal with Buffy had distracted her and she was about to pay her carelessness. The demon looked like the one she’d fought with Buffy, and she was seriously starting to consider the fact that she was not in the vengeance demons dimension. But then, where the hell was she? And how did something like that happen?  
The demon kept on going at her and she could only avoid its attacks, not being able to retaliate. Suddenly though, it stopped and stared at her. Faith looked suspiciously at the huge purplish thing, keeping her defensive stance. But it didn’t come any nearer, and after a couple of minutes of an awkward staring contest, he took a step aside, reveling an even bigger demon. Faith gulped, it didn’t look good at all.  
« Slayer » the demon growled.  
« Yup, the one and only… no wait, that’s not true » she shrugged, smart-ass on full mode. « So, nice place you guys have here, would ya believe me if I told ya I got lost? Care to show me the way to Earth? »   
« Krumpt yav » the big demon instructed the smaller one in some weird language and suddenly she was on the ground, a sharp pain on her head. She tried to stay conscious, but soon, everything faded to black.

-

Buffy was pacing furiously, waiting for Anya to return. The demon had left to go retrieve Tara and try to understand what had happened. And the blonde slayer was left alone to deal at the castle. She had locked herself in Faith’s room, not wanting to have to answer any question at the moment. Her sister had asked about Faith about a dozen times the last few days, and Xander and Willow were also starting to worry. Nobody aside from Anya knew what the brunette was doing, and Buffy had actually been so sure Faith would be there to see Willow’s reaction. After all, Tara was back thanks to her. But now, her sister slayer was god knows where and just thinking about it, Buffy felt the tears start to fall.   
Would they never be able to make things right? She remembered how she had felt when Faith had gotten hurt fighting those demons and she felt a pang in her chest. Things were still so weird between them. She knew she had hurt Faith, accusing her of working for the bad side again, she had seen it in her chocolate eyes the night she left. She blamed herself for that, and even though she knew they had somewhat made peace when she had gotten her back from that awful motel, things were not the same. They had started to get close before that, and Buffy had to admit that it felt right, it felt good… But of course she had to get scared and react like that. Stupid… She shook her head at her own reactions. If something was to happen to Faith, the brunette would never know how happy Buffy was to have her here with her. To get past all that had happened between them. Buffy would never hear her laugh again, or see her smirk. She would never get the chance to shake her head or roll her eyes at Faith’s continuous flirting and innuendos anymore. She would never get the chance to find out if the brunette was just joking around or if she was serious and hiding behind humor.   
Did Buffy want her to be serious?   
« Are you trying to put the moves on me or something? »   
« Or something »   
Buffy had been the one to start the flirting, but she had meant it as a joke, to alleviate the tension in the room. But was there some kind of unconscious wishful thinking behind it? She had felt something weird when Faith was traveling the past, she couldn’t explain it. It was like she was missing something, an important element. It didn’t make sense.   
Maybe she still felt guilty about their fight and was worried she could never properly apologize to Faith. It must be it. She had kinda said her apologies when she had gone to bring the brunette back from Pittsburgh, but things were still kinda tensed between them, Faith was still wary around her, and Buffy didn't know how to get things back on track. Which was also why she had been so surprised by the way her sister slayer had hugged her, the way she could feel her whole body against hers, her rapid heartbeats echoing with her owns.   
Buffy turned her head the moment she heard Anya. Even if she knew Tara would come back with the vengeance demon, she still wasn’t prepared to the feeling of having the witch in front of her, alive. She didn’t look as confused as Buffy had figured she would though.   
“Tara...” Buffy whispered, slowly making her way toward the chestnut-haired girl. She enveloped her in a hug, holding on tightly.   
“I can’t believe she did it...” Tara breathed and Buffy looked at her surprised.   
“What - what do you mean ? Do you know what happened?” The slayer was the one feeling confused.   
“The moment I got in Anya’s dimension, a flash of memories came back to me, I remembered talking to Faith, her telling me she would bring me back. It made no sense at first, but when Anya explained it all, I realized that it wasn’t a dream. Well, it was but... you know” Tara lowered her head shyly.   
Buffy nodded her head, indeed it didn’t make any sense, but in her life, most things didn’t. “What about Faith?” She asked, turning to Anya. “Where is she?”  
“Stop asking me that!” Anya yelled, frustrated. “I don’t know, ok?! D’Hoffryn tried retracing the teleportation, but he thinks Faith was taken away before she got to our dimension. He's still looking into it”  
“Taken away? What do you mean, she was taken away ? So it wasn’t an accident ? Somebody did that ?” Buffy inquired, pacing again.   
“I don’t know... she could be anywhere Buffy... she could be dea-“  
“Don’t...” Buffy breathed, stopping in her tracks. “She’s fine, I know she is” she said strongly.   
“How-how do you know, Buffy?” Tara asked uncertainly. She wanted more than anyone for it to be true, she wanted to thank the brunette for giving her a chance to live, but the simple fact that the slayer had been kidnaped during a teleportation was scary. Whoever did this had power.   
“I just feel it. I could always feel her. It was an imperceptible humming when she first came to Sunnydale...” Buffy remembered. “But lately, it’s been a constant small tingling, and it intensifies the closer we are... I can still feel it right now, it’s barely there, but it is” she asserted strongly.   
“Well... I guess we’ll need some other witch to get to the end of it” Anya shrugged.   
Buffy nodded, she was determined to get Faith back. Play time was over, the slayer in her was ready for a fight, and whoever did this would soon regret crossing paths with Buffy Summers. 

-

Faith slowly opened her eyes. She was aching everywhere, but she couldn’t really check all limbs, as she soon realized she was tied with heavy chains, her feet not touching the ground. The room was cold and dark, but it seemed to look like some sort of basement, or maybe a cave. The air was rare and she didn’t know if it was the reason she had trouble breathing or if it was due to her injuries. She couldn’t remember the details of how she’d gotten there, aside from the purple demon launching at her. Had it happened a few minutes ago? Hours? Days? She had no idea but she was starving. She couldn’t tell the last real meal she had, only having a snack while waiting for Anya to send her back for what was supposed to be the final travel. Well, that had gone well… If nothing else, she at least hoped that Tara was ok.   
The slayer tried to free herself, pulling with as much force as she could muster but the chains didn’t bulge. Either she was weaker than she had thought, or there was some magic involved. Neither options fit well with her. She didn’t have time to dwell on it though, as she heard movement in the left corner of the room and soon, the bigger demon of the two she’d faced appeared.  
« Slayer » it growled and Faith rolled her eyes.  
« Yeah, you already used this line, try being creative, yeah? » He hit her square on the face and she spitted blood. « Ok, that was pretty creative »  
« Show some respect Slayer » the thing berated, gripping her chin. « You’re not in your dimension anymore, and here, the Gluckarn rule »  
She repeated the name in her head, making sure to remember it in case she one day got out of here. It could help research them, the name sure didn’t ring any bell for Faith though.   
« ‘k Gluck’ guy, wha’ do ya want from me? » Faith asked, trying to free her head from the rough grasp.  
« My son… you killed one of ours, but my son got away. Where is he? »  
So she’d been right, it was the same demons she had fought with Buffy. And they had been hard as hell to kill.   
« As you said, he got away so how would I know? » She asked flippantly. Again the demon punched her, this time on her stomach.   
“I have all the time in the world, Slayer. What about you?”  
And with a head gesture, he motioned for his guys to start beating Faith down, again.   
She once again fought to stay conscious, which apparently didn't suit so well with her opponents. One of them took out a knife with a sadistic smile on his lips. He lifted her shirt a bit while the others struggled to keep her still.  
" Looks like I'm not your first but I'll try to make it just as good, and if not, well we can still remind you of this one" he laughed before plunging the blade in her gut, in the already there scar from so long ago. The last thing she thought about before everything turned black was Buffy, on a rooftop, a shocked expression on her face while she held a familiar blade buried inside her.

-

Buffy was once again pacing the room, only half listening to Anya and Tara’s plan of research. She didn’t want to do research. She didn’t want to sit in front of some stupid book while Faith could be fighting for her life. The girls still hadn’t left the room since the witch’s return, they wanted to gather as much info as they could before rallying the troops. The problem was that, by what little she heard her two friends talking, they had close to nothing in regards of what had happened to her sister slayer.   
She was about to ask her two friends when they could finally act when she felt a phantom pain in her gut. She winced and clutched her stomach, feeling dizzy for a second. When it stopped, she furrowed her brows, trying to figure what felt so wrong about it. It took her less than a second to gather what it was.  
"I can’t feel her anymore..." she whispered, shocked. "I can't feel Faith!" This time it was said with a despair she would have never thought she'd hear in her own voice.   
Witch and demon turned to her with worry, noticing silent tears running down the blonde cheeks. Her hand was absently touching the same spot below her ribs, a spot that felt familiar, sadly so.  
"I stabbed her... I did this..." The slayer didn't even acknowledge the tears, nor the two girls in the room. Faith was gone. They hadn't been fast enough. All the things she wanted to fix would never get fixed. All the things she wanted to tell the brunette would stay unsaid. Because this future was taken from her. After a few more silent minutes, she put on a cold face and shook herself out of her stupor.   
" I don't care how, but find a way to who took her. I won't let her body in some demon dimension, and whoever did this won't go unpunished." And with these words, she left the room.


	11. Chapter 11

What should have been a happy reunion actually turned into a day of half mourning - half fight planning. Buffy had first announced Faith's death before Tara had a chance to make an appearance, so the joy of seeing her was tainted by the tragic news. Willow was holding the chestnut haired witch's hand tightly, trying to make herself believe that her lover was really here. But the person she should be thanking and hugging and praising wasn't. She would never get the chance to tell Faith how much it meant. They had been friends for quite a while, but she had never told the brunette that she cared about her, she took it for granted, and now, Faith was gone.  
Kennedy had left the castle as soon as Buffy had announced what had happened to Faith, therefore she wasn't there to witness the witches reuniting.  
Dawn only stopped crying long enough to run to Tara and bury her face in her neck, where she still currently was, her body softly convulsing with the sobs.  
Xander was with Buffy and Anya, eyes red, planning on how to retrace Faith teleportation in order to get there, while Andrew was on the phone with Giles, with the difficult task to retell the news.  
They had sent the baby slayers to their rooms, demanding not to be disturbed, and seeing the tension, nobody had complained.  
"According to D'Hoffryn, the only dimension that would make sense is the Gluckarn's, though he doesn't know what their reason could be." Anya said, opening a book to show the others the demons she was referring to. The moment she got to the right page, Buffy snatched the book from her hands.  
"It's the demon that hurt Faith, we killed one but the other got away"  
"Maybe we should try to find him then, he might be able to get us to his dimension" Xander offered, reading over Buffy's shoulder.  
"I guess it's time for demon hunting then..." the slayer was already heading for the weapons closet, not waiting for anyone to react.

-

It didn't take them long to find the demon, nor to bring him back. He was barely alive when they finally chained him in the basement. Buffy had let her rage lead her during the battle, and it had taken both Xander and Willow to stop her from killing the purple thing.  
Now, Anya was questioning him while they were preparing to travel dimension, to Faith...  
"Buffy?" Tara softly touched the blonde's shoulder and motioned for a quiet room. When they got there, the slayer watched her impatiently, wanting to keep her mind on the battle, she couldn't afford to stop and think or she'd loose it. "There's something you should know... although Anya has been asked to keep quiet, I wasn't, and I think you should know..."  
Buffy immediately thought about Faith's words to the vengeance demon about shutting up. And Tara knew. Her curiosity got the best of her, "Wha- what is it about?" Her voice shook a bit but she cleared her throat and kept a blank look.  
The witch took her hand and softly squeezed it. Faith wasn't here anymore, she would never get the chance to tell the blonde what she had done for her. She probably wouldn't have anyway, but Tara thought someone should, and so she did.  
"Faith changed the past. Before she brought me back, she went back in time and did something. Something that neither Anya of myself would have thought possible" seeing the blonde getting even more impatient, she got to the point "a few months before you died... your mom got sick".  
Buffy cut her off "yeah I remember that, Tara, it happened sometime during Glory shenanigans"  
"Yes... but... she actually died..."  
"What? No! I remember it, she fell and we got her to the hospital. They ran some tests on her and found a bleeding in her brain, they said it was a miracle that she... oh god..." As she was retelling her memories, some things started to come back, like some kind of dream. Images of her mom's still body on the sofa, of Dawn crying in her arms, of Willow and Tara living in her mom's old room. And more recently images of Faith telling her she would do anything to bring her mom back, because she cared about her more than she would ever know. Of Faith kissing her... "God..." she repeated, falling in the chair, head in hands.  
Tara was next to her in a second, wrapping her arms around her petite frame.  
"I thought you deserved to know... I don't know Faith... I mean... I didn't get the chance to know her that well, but... she really cared about you Buffy... that much I could see the few times we talked, even when she wasn't actually talking about you. She probably didn't want you to find out like that... especially if she wouldn't be here afterwards... but I think you deserved it. You deserve to keep this memory close to your heart..."  
Buffy didn't answer, she didn't say a word, Tara wasn't even sure if she was crying or not, she just kept her face in her hands, rocking herself in the witch's arms.  
"I... I think I have been in love with her for a long time..." the slayer eventually whispered, speaking the words so softly that Tara wasn't sure she was supposed to hear them. "I was so scared though... I kept pushing her away, because that's how we usually act around one another, and it seemed easier than to deal with these feelings... it's not even that she's a girl, but she's Faith... we tried to kill each other, we never really got along, but after the First... you want to know a funny thing?" She asked, not waiting for a response before shaking her head with a sad chuckle. "It was my mom who finally got me out of my head and made me go find her in this stupid motel a week ago. She said that Faith and I are supposed to work things out, and to be ok. She said that Faith had grown a lot and that she deserved to be forgiven. And so I went, because a mom is always right... and I only heard those words because Faith made sure I could have my mom tell them to me... and she'll never know I love her... and I'll never know if she loved me too..." she choked on her last words and this time the tears fell.  
"Oh Buffy..." Tara breathed, tightening her hold. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Willow at the door, silent tears in her eyes. They shared a sad look before the red head announced they had the info they needed and were ready to go. Buffy asked for a moment to gather herself before joining the gang in the leaving room.  
Her face a mask of faked detachment, she put her hands on the table in front of her and looked each of them in the eye. "Get the demon ready, we're leaving. And this is not a pacific trip, so weapon up". In a second, everyone was moving. They would this together, for Faith. 

Buffy and Willow were the first to get there, with the unconscious Gluckarn, soon followed by Anya and a green looking Xander. The witch could only teleport one person plus the demon and the same went for Anya, so it was quickly decided that the others would stay at the castle, much to Dawn dismay. Tara had offered to come but Buffy and Willow had refused.  
The slayer took in her surroundings, staying alert.  
"Willow and I need a moment. This teleportation thing isn't as easy as it seems" Anya complained, ignoring Xander's labored breathing.  
Buffy just nodded, still focused on this strange place. It seemed crazy but she felt... something. Something that reminded her of her "Faith's tingling", but not quite the same. Brows furrowed, she kept her eyes anywhere at once, feeling like they were about to get jumped. She took a knife out of her boot and got closer the to demon they were holding captive. He was starting to awake, so she put the blade under his chin - or what was probably a chin- keeping him still.  
"You brought me back..." he said incredulous after recognizing the place. She didn't have time to answer before they were surrounded by a dozen of similar demons.  
One stood out more, both in appearance and attitude. After a few seconds of watching each other warily, he finally spoke.  
"Slayer... you brought me my son..."  
"And you're about to watch him die for what you did to Faith" she growled, pressing the blade more firmly against the Gluckarn's neck.  
"Now, now... aren't you here for a trade?" He crossed his long purples arms and stared at her.  
"Yeah... a corpse for a corpse" she meant to be cold but her voice cracked and she felt her eyes sting.  
The demon growled and said some foreign words to one of his minions, making Buffy's posture stiffen. But instead of attacking, he left with a couple of his friends. "Slayer, your friend was a tough one, I'll admit. She took it like a champ... as you humans say" Buffy gritted her teeth but stayed silent. "She was feisty. But after a while? Not so much. How long was it for you, a couple of days? Here, one hour is a human week, I'll let you do the maths."  
Willow had to hold onto the blonde to prevent her from doing something stupid. "Buff, don't... he's just trying to bait you..." the red head softly spoke.  
The Gluckarn kept talking, as if he'd never been interrupted. "I admire her though, a strong fighter, and loyal too. She was willing to give her life to protect yours, you know? She didn't know where my son was, but she could have just told us where to find you. She never did" he shook his ugly head with amusement. "Funny thing was the most efficient way to torture her was to have her relive that day you stabbed her. Her mind is an interesting thing..."  
Buffy was about to lunch herself at him when she saw the demons come back. With Faith's body. The blonde fell on her knees, the wind knocked out of her. The brunette's name fell out of Xander's lips and Willow had to close her eyes. The dark slayer was covered with cuts and bruises, the most important one in her stomach, where a knife was still buried. The same knife the mayor had gifted her with so long ago. How it was possible, none of them knew, but it was really there. Or at least they thought it was.  
They threw Faith's body at Buffy's feet and waited for her to react.  
"She isn't dead, Slayer. At least, not her corporal form. I can't tell how much damage was done to her soul. My boys can sometimes get a bit carried away. Anyway, I fulfilled my part of the deal, now I want you to do the same. After that you can all leave and I hope we never cross paths again"  
He waited. Willow waited. Anya and Xander too. Even the Gluckarn's son was watching her with curiosity. But Buffy eyes couldn't be strained from Faith's still body. Brown eyes open, not like she was looking at her sister slayer, but more like through her. A dead look on her face. If she was still alive, why couldn't Buffy feel her? Or was this strange tingling that felt almost familiar but not really, from Faith ? She hesitantly moved her hand until she was brushing it on Faith's cheek, expecting a reaction, any reaction. But the brunette didn't move, didn't flinch, didn't react. A tear fell from Buffy's eyes and she shut her eyes, taking a big breath. When she opened them, she motioned for Willow to release the demon. She took the fragile body in her arms and without taking her eyes from her, she whispered "Let's go home..."

Faith was settled in her room, the knife taken off and thrown away. Willow and Tara did all the healing spells they could think of, Dawn stayed in the room most of the time, the scene familiar. Xander and Anya came and left, several times a day, as did Andrew. Even Kennedy came back, and while she avoided anyone in the castle, she could be seen entering and leaving Faith's room a few times when it wasn't already occupied by one of the Scoobies. Some of the baby slayers sometimes stopped at the door, too shy to get inside but wanting to be there for their teacher.  
And then, there was Buffy. Or, rather, there wasn't Buffy. She avoided the brunette's room like the plague, like she was the one who did this to the dark slayer. She spent most of her time on the phone with Giles or doing research, trying to find a way to wake Faith up. Her ex watcher had informed her that her mom and himself were coming back to the states, that they would find a solution, together, but she didn't want to wait. She wanted to be the one to bring Faith back, she felt like she owed it to her. So she kept searching for an answer. She kept reading and reading, so much so the words were eventually just blurred lines that didn't make any sense. 

Giles was expected later that day, and the tension was palpable in the castle. Willow entered the library, knowing the blonde slayer was likely inside. Buffy had several books open in front of her, and her head was resting on the table, a strained expression on her face, even while asleep.  
The redhead softly shook her shoulder, trying not to startle her, but failed as Buffy jumped up and took in a fighting stance.  
"It's ok, Buff, it's just me"  
The slayer nodded and sat back, her eyes falling on the book she had been reading before falling asleep.  
"Find anything ?" Willow asked, taking a seat next to her friend.  
"Actually... maybe... I had an idea last night..." she glanced at the witch before turning a page to show a spell.  
"A sleeping spell? I'm not sure I understand -"  
"Faith and I... we shared some slayer dreams before. But as much as I try to provoke them, I can't... so... maybe a spell would help, like a sleeping spell that would help me get to her mind?" Buffy asked hopefully.  
"Well, in theory, I guess that could work... but... the demon said that Faith's mind could be severely damaged, and I don't know how much of a risk it would be to send you there..."  
"Will, I don't care about the risk, I care about results, could this work? Faith did it with Tara, and she wasn't even back yet, so it is possible, isn't it?"  
"Yeah, but Faith didn't use a spell, I don't even know how she did it, Buffy. You could get stuck in her head without being able to find her, or being able to get out. We could fail in waking you. She could be so far gone that she'd want to kill you again..." she added the last part as a whisper and Buffy lifted her eyes, surprised.  
"What?"  
"Buffy... the demon said they were torturing her, having her relive you killing her again and again... Goddess know what kind of psychological damage it did to her... remember when she woke up from her coma... she wasn't exactly friendly..." Willow said, a sad expression on her face.  
"So what? We just let her like that? An empty body with an almost dead mind, and tortured soul, because it's more convenient ? Because, hey, we did it before and it didn't turn out so bad after all!" Buffy had gotten up and was fuming, face red and fists clenched.  
"Buffy, no! I care about Faith ! Actually I started caring before you did !" The witch accused, getting angry herself. "Remember, when you were punching her for the sake of it? Well she was my friend then, and she still is now! I just don't want to loose the both of you !"  
They stayed in a staring contest until Xander entered the room, eyebrows raised. Both girls sat back and exhaled.  
"I'm sorry Will... I... God I don't know what I'm saying anymore... I just need to do something... Tara said... ... I remember things... things that didn't happen for you, that you don't remember but -"  
"I know... I heard Tara telling you, and the more I thought about it, the more it came back to me... Joyce... you and Faith getting closer... I didn't know you felt that way about her, Buff, but I'm happy you do... because I know she feels it too..."  
"How do you know?" Buffy shyly asked, her voice shaking a bit. Willow smiled, taking her friend's hand in hers.  
"Because, like I said, Faith and I are friends, and even though she's not the most open person I know, she's actually pretty talkative when you get to know her"  
Xander looked at them with a bewildered expression. "Ok girls, I think someone here is being kept in the dark about things, things that involve two sexy slayers getting comfortable together and I demand to get details" he smiled his goofy smile and the girls chuckled. They would find a way... they had to... because Buffy needed to know if Willow was right or not. 

Buffy settled next to Faith on her bed, it being the first time she had entered the room since they had brought her back a week ago. The brunette seemed peaceful, eyes closed like she was sleeping, her face finally free of bruises and other reminders of her days of torture. But it wasn't days, not for her. Buffy had indeed done the math, Faith was gone for 47 hours... almost eleven months in that demonic dimension... how could she have survived this? How could she be the same person after that... but Buffy needed to believe she would. She needed to believe that she would be her Faith... even if she didn't get the chance to be hers... yet.

Willow watched her slayer friends, Buffy taking the brunette's hand in hers, a lonely tear running down her face. She still didn't know if this was a good idea, but Buffy was right, they needed to do something. So Tara and her were preparing to get Buffy asleep and "provoke" a slayer dream, or something like that. She wasn't quite sure but Buffy had assured them that she would know what to do once she got in the dream.  
"You ready baby?" Willow asked, smiling at the blushing girl. Things had been pretty crazy at the castle, but the witches were slowly getting back on track, especially since Willow had missed the chestnut haired girl so much, and that for Tara, the last few years had never happened.  
"Yes, we can start. Buffy?"  
"Yeah... go ahead" the blonde slayer breathed, closing her eyes and unconsciously tightening her hold on Faith's hand.  
She was about to complain that it was taking too long when she opened her eyes, taking in her surroundings. Sunnydale. The place she'd never thought she'd get to see again. Especially the high school, and not the way it was before they blew the city up. No, it was the same way she remembered it from her teenager years.  
She was in the middle of the old library, Giles glasses placed on the counter, a few books opened on the table, and a backpack she swore belonged to Oz. She glanced around, smelling the familiar scent of the room, a mix of books, tea and sweat from her training sessions.  
She could remember her younger self entering that place so many times, laughing with her friends, planning on how to defeat the new big bad, or avoiding yet another apocalypse. And she could remember the too short a time with Faith, training, bickering or challenging each other. She could remember the way their heartbeats increased, synchronized, every time the two of them were sparring, the way the brunette's breath would hitch when Buffy landed on top of her, the way she would make a joke or an innuendo and wink at her. But the place was empty, Faith wasn't there, so Buffy got out of high school and started wandering the streets of Sunnydale. She unconsciously ended at the motel, the one she didn't remember being so crappy, so unwelcoming... probably the way Faith had felt... unwelcome...  
She entered what had been Faith's room and was immediately assaulted by the familiar surroundings. Christmas lights hanging around, the brunette's clothes scattered on her bed, some drying on the old looking furniture, and some carelessly thrown on the floor. Her leather jacket was on the back of a chair, but the place was empty. There was a picture Buffy didn't remember seeing before and as she got closer, she saw her face next to the brunette's, both wearing a goofy smile, sitting at the library, Faith's feet on the table and an arm nonchalantly thrown on the back of Buffy's chair, the blonde hands behind her head and one leg resting on her counterpart lap.  
The slayer frowned, she didn't remember that day being immortalized in a picture, nor did she remember Faith having any picture on her nightstand, especially not one of herself. She took the picture in her hand and traced the smiling faces with her thumb. It was from a couple of days before Finch episode... they were finally starting to get past what happened with Gwendolyn Post, and Angel, and all the little things that had been keeping them apart... but it was like it wasn't meant to be... maybe they weren't ready yet back then... but she was now. She wouldn't get that chance taken from her again. With a determined face, she put the picture back in place and got out of the room, heading to the last place she wanted to go. But somehow she knew she would find Faith there.

When she got there, the door was open, but there wasn't any music blaring this time around. Everything was calm. She would have thought the place was empty if it wasn't for the soft light. She cautiously walked inside, heart clenching as she remembered the last time, the only time she was there. Apparently Faith was remembering the same thing because she find her on that same roof, a distant look on her face. She walked on some broken glass but the other slayer didn't flinch, nor she acknowledged her presence. Buffy walked to her and leant against the railing, her elbow touching Faith's.  
They stayed like that, silent, just looking at the night before them, for a long while. Eventually, figuring Faith wouldn't speak, Buffy was the one to break the silence.  
"I thought I had lost you... I... I couldn't feel you anymore. Suddenly it just... disappeared... you know when sometimes you have something, and you take it for granted, and it's taken from you... you realize how much it meant... and you would do anything to turn back time and fix things before it's too late..." Buffy chanced a glance at the girl but she stayed silent, so she kept on babbling. "Anyway, I'm not too good with the turning the clock thing, I mean, not like you obviously are, which by the way, I don't know if I should hug the hell outta you for what you did, or punch you for hiding the truth from me !" She shook her head, trying to organize her thoughts. Faith wasn't really being cooperative, and Buffy didn't know if she was willingly ignoring her or if she just didn't have anything to say. With Faith, one could never know. “That being said... maybe we could go back home, you know, talk in person, or real person, not the dreaming us, because well dream you is not really talkative and we need two person to have a conversation...” she closed her eyes and flinched at her own stupidity. If this was supposed to convince the brunette, she had to admit that she wasn’t doing a great job.  
“I am not going back B” Faith said, her voice hoarse, like she hadn’t uttered a word in months.  
“What? Why? You have to! You can’t leave me there alone ! And, and Willow wants to thank you, and Dawn has been crying nonstop and Xander wants to play stupid video games with you. And Andrew needs you to try on his new receipts and Giles and mom are getting back tonight to see you and...” she choked on her words, not wanting to believe that she had failed, not wanting for Faith’s stubbornness to be the reason they can’t work this out. “Faith, stop being stupid, you are not staying here”  
“I never realized it before... but ya did kill me tha' day. At first, I just remembered it like ya wanting to stop this craziness, to stop me from hurting anyone else, but the more I saw it... the more I felt it... I started noticing details. And I finally understood... you just came to kill me, to save Angel. Ya didn’t care about what I had done, to your friends, to Finch, to the professor... no... you cared about what I had done to you and your boyfriend... it wasn’t hard for you, you weren’t struggling with a decision, you had already made it... and it was to take my life, a human life, no matter how good or bad, to save him... and in a sense, I get it, because I would sacrifice any life for yours... and my life didn’t matter half as much as his. After a few months in tha' dimension, I started to see it more clearly, how stupid I'd been, all those things I did, just to have ya see me, and because ya didn’t think I was good enough, I ended up thinking I wasn’t, and I fucked up even more. I was too far gone and ya did the right thing, but now I know. Ya didn’t do it because it was the right thing to do... ya did it for such a selfish reason... and I always put ya on such a pedestal that it was what killed me. To realize ya were no better than I am. I lost my way. I struggled to get back on track... but you still thought I was lying, that I wasn’t on your side... when it’s the only side I’ve ever wanted to be... Now I know... I was stupid to think things could change. Because ya killed me tha' day, and all that remains is the ghost of a far away memory of what could have been, and what will never be”  
Buffy stayed stunned, struggling for words that wouldn’t come out, no matter how much she wanted them to. She opened and closed her mouth a few times, willing the words to form in a coherent sentence. When she felt a salty taste on her lips, she realized she was crying. Faith still wasn’t looking at her, the same blank look on her face as she stared at nothing in particular.  
When the brunette finally turned to face her, the first thing Buffy noticed was the blood stained shirt, her stomach churning at the sight. When her eyes reached the brown ones watching her, she couldn’t help but let a sob escape. Faith’s eyes, which used to look so vibrant and full of life, and mischief were now hollow, empty. And she had done this.  
“Faith... I... please... I’m...” but she couldn’t get a word out. At the moment she needed it the most, the words failed her. She wanted to tell her she was wrong but she also knew that to some extent, she wasn’t. They should have talked about it so long ago... they could have avoided this by having this conversation when things had started to get better. Buffy should have apologized, she shouldn’t have waited for Faith to confront her about the past. Now anything she’d say would seem like a stupid excuse. She had no other choice than to bare her heart and pray for a miracle. But before she got the chance, Faith turned again and quietly spoke.  
“I don’t blame ya B. I mostly blame myself. We were just kids... I couldn’t expect ya to figure out how my crazy brain worked. Like some kindergarten kid, the more I hurt you the more I...” she shook her head and chuckled.  
Was she going to say the more I love you? Buffy’s heart skipped a beat and this time the words came to her, this time she couldn’t keep silent anymore.  
“ I should have, because it’s exactly the way I’ve been acting this past few months, isn’t it? Picking fights with you, accusing you of having turned to the bad guys again ? The more you love someone, the more you hurt them? Maybe... but... it wasn’t just that... I was terrified Faith... because we hurt each other so much in the past... and I was scared that if I told you how I felt... you’d run away. Or we would just hurt each other again... I know it doesn’t make any sense... but it’s us, and we usually end up at each other throats, and then... you told me about wanting to bring my mom back, you said that all you did was care about me... and I knew... I just knew it would be ok, that we would work things out... and I told you Faith, I won't let anything get in the way, not even you, remember? So you're gonna come back with me, and we're going to get through this, because we deserve this, we deserve to be happy, and I won't let some demon play some mind games with you and tear us apart. Because... because I love you Faith, I think I have loved you for quite some time now, probably even before you admitted you liked me. You just helped me realize it. Maybe I'm the one who's always been a bit slow" she softly smiled, taking Faith's hand and forcing the dark slayer to look at her. "I should have told you sooner, but with everything that happened... and then my memories were taken from me... I felt so empty and I didn't even know why... but it didn't compare to..." she paused, trying to gather her thoughts "God Faith... please don't do this... I know I hurt you, I know I messed it up for us, but let me try, please let me try... I can't lose you again... I won't. I'll stay here if that's what it takes..."  
But she knew she couldn't. She was already starting to feel the pull from the real world. And Faith probably felt it too because she chuckled, shaking her head.  
"Still as stubborn as always, B. But you can't always win. And I can never win..." she added more softly.  
"Will you just stop it! We won, we already did ! Don't you... don't you love me?" Buffy choked on the words, struggling to not break down. Maybe she didn't... maybe that's not how she felt... When her question stayed answered, Buffy let go of the brunette's hand and wiped the tears away from her face with the back of her hand. "I guess it was never meant to be..." she whispered before going back inside. Faith didn't follow her, not that she had expected her to. She left the building, walking down the streets, arms wrapped around herself. She'd just bared her heart to the one girl she had spent so many years fighting with. But it was too little, too late. She couldn't even blame her sister slayer. She was tortured for so long that her reasoning became something like a mantra, telling her she'd never be good enough for Buffy, she could never be the person who Buffy wanted or needed. And she couldn't be more wrong... but the blonde had failed to show her that. Once again, she had failed Faith...  



	12. Chapter 12

She ended up at her place, the one that held so many memories, good and bad... she took a sit on the couch and watched the room, the pictures, which none held the brunette's face. She shook her head sadly. As she had told Faith, she couldn't turn back time and fix things. Now she had to live with her mistakes, even when Faith obviously refused to live with them.  
She closed her eyes and waited for what seemed like hours for Willow to bring her back but instead of increasing, the pull lessened, until she couldn't feel it at all and she eventually fell asleep. She opened her eyes to find herself still in her old living room, except that she wasn't alone anymore. She jumped a bit and put a hand on her heart.  
"Damn, you scared me!"  
"For a slayer, you're easily scared, B" Faith chuckled, not glancing up while turning the pages of a photo album. She didn't say anything else and kept her interest on the pictures in front of her.  
"What are you looking at?" Buffy asked, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.  
"Ya have some cool pictures." Buffy glanced at the album and saw pictures of the two of them, sparring, laughing, dancing, like a memory album. She knew none of this pictures existed in the real world and she suddenly felt really sad about it. "Ya still here" Faith said, it wasn't a question, she was just enunciating a simple fact.  
"Yeah... guess my dramatic exit kinda is diminished by that, right?"  
"Nah, you were dramatic alright. Kinda left before hearing the answer to your question though" Faith shrugged and kept looking at the pictures. She stopped at a particular page and Buffy saw the first real smile in a long time on her face. She bent to see what picture had caused this reaction and felt the tears well up at the sight. It was a picture of them at the castle, sharing their first kiss. That night she had gone crazy and threatened the brunette with a knife. That night Faith had hold her and told everything would be ok. That night she finally admitted she wanted more from her dark counterpart.  
"How did I manage to ruin this for us?" She whispered, voice so low that she thought Faith hadn't heard her.  
"Ya didn't ruin anything B. It was once again ruined for us. By demons, life, guilt, pain, fear... so many different things that we never stood a chance. Still, I think it was the most beautiful day of my fucked up life. That night, I watched ya sleep for hours. I couldn't believe ya were really there, ya know? And you kept cuddling against me, and I didn't want this night to ever end. I wanted to believe that for once, things would be ok..." Buffy sadly nodded, she had felt the same way.  
"Then, let's not let it end" the blonde whispered, taking Faith's hand. The dark slayer smiled and squeezed the hand interlaced in hers, stopping Buffy from closing the distance between them.  
She frowned but watched Faith take a breath before talking again.  
"Do ya know why you're still here?" Buffy just shook her head, brows still furrowed. "This is my head, ya know? I kinda rule here" she softly laughed, gently stroking the back of the blonde's hand. "Red couldn't get you back because I didn't want ya to leave. I spent half the night thinking about what ya said. I know that this mind fuck thing messed up with my head, and that half the shit I was saying didn't make any sense. But for me it did ya know? The first few months... you were the only thing that kept me from givin' up. I wanted to go back home, to get the chance to see if we'd still end up together the second time around. But they kept plunging that blade in my gut, while making me see you do it, again, and again, and again... at the end, I didn't know which version was the true one. I didn't know if I was making this worse by over analyzing it. And after a while... I could only see you wanting to kill me for your dead boyfriend. I couldn't remember us, I couldn't remember how soft your skin feels under my touch, I couldn't remember how amazing your lips felt on mine. I couldn't remember how much I wanted to make love to you... or how much I love you..."  
This time, Buffy didn't let her pull away, she closed the distance and kissed her with everything she had, everything she was. Theirs lips brushed against one another, with so much passion that it was almost too much for Faith. The blonde kept tracing her bottom lip with her tongue, and Faith finally granted her access. She couldn't keep herself from moaning at the contact, her hands unconsciously running on the end of Buffy's back, under her shirt. The kiss got more and more heated, and when Faith felt Buffy's hand run up her ribs, Faith regretfully pulled away, breath labored. Buffy kept nibbling at her jaw, her neck, behind her ear, which was driving the dark slayer insane.  
"B, wait" she breathed, tearing herself from the hot touches. "Damn, ya're gonna be the death of me" she laughed, straightening her clothes and running her thumb under the blonde pouting lip to clean the lipstick stain she had left there. "I... God I'm not one to turn down a hot make out session... but... maybe we should get back to our real bodies to do that? "  
Again she seemed to have said the right words because Buffy threw her arms around her, kissing her again.  
"Thank you..." the blonde slayer breathed in the crook of her neck.  
"Don't make me regret it, Blondie" she joked, getting them up and out of the house.  
"Where are we going?" Buffy asked after a couple of minutes.  
"Home" Faith smiled.

\- 

They woke up at the same time, surrounded by the two witches, Dawn and Xander. The moment Faith opened her eyes, the youngest Summers threw herself at her, hugging her tightly.  
"Don't you ever leave me alone in that crazy house again!" Faith chuckled at hearing the others playfully scowled her. "I missed you..." Dawn added more seriously, letting the brunette comfort her with soft strokes in her hair.  
"Missed ya too baby D." She whispered, tightening her hold a bit before releasing the girl.  
The whole gang took turns in hugging her and stating how happy they were to have her back. She shared a few words with each of them, longer ones with Willow who almost squeezed her to death while thanking her for bringing Tara back to her.  
"I'll never be able to repay you for that Faith..." the redhead breathed while squeezing the brunette's hand.  
"No need for any of that, Red. I couldn't have you mopping around anymore" she winked and Willow laughed, knowing the dark slayer well enough to know that she'd rather joke about things than to accept compliments. She let it slide for now, especially when she noticed Faith's eyes scanning the room, her brows furrowed.  
"Where's B?" She asked and everyone looked around, only now realizing the blonde had quietly left the room. Anya chose that moment to enter the room and answer the question.  
"I saw her downstairs not a minute ago. Faith, you're back, good. Everyone was sad and it was putting a damper on my great comeback. Xander wouldn't give me orgasms because of that" Faith chuckled and patted her blushing friend while getting up. She squeezed Tara's shoulder on her way out, earning a soft smile in return.  
She found her sister slayer in the backyard, arms wrapped around herself, eyes red.  
"So, B... you kinda disappeared on me back there... everything ok?" The blonde nodded silently, keeping her eyes far away. "Ok, if ya're trying to do an impression of me, I have to say, you're good. Though I'm pretty sure I didn't look that crestfallen..." she expected the blonde to at least smile but only got silence in return. "B, what's the matter ?"  
"Are you going to leave?" Buffy finally looked at her, a hurt look on her face.  
"Wha'? Course not, I thought we talked about it, back there" she pointed to her head, "if I remember correctly, we were in the middle of some hot make out party, I told ya we should get home, and then we got back there. What the hell happened in the meantime for ya to think I'd leave?"  
"Because every time we're finally getting somewhere, you freak out and leave" Buffy avoided her eyes, feeling the brunette get impatient.  
"Who's freaking out now, B?  
"Why do you never call me Buffy?" The blonde asked once again.  
"What? Again? What the hell does this have to do with anything ? Damn, ya losing your shit here or what ?" Faith threw her hands up, shaking her head.  
"I just want to know why. You never call me Buffy, it's always B, or Twinky, or Blondie, but you never use my name. Tell me why? I want to know the real reason, not that nickname excuse you already gave me" Buffy begged, her voice so broken that Faith had no other choice than to soften her own.  
"Because people call you Buffy, of Buff, or whatever. But when I call you B... it's only mine, ya know. At first I admit that it was to piss ya off, but after a while... it became our thing, I'd call ya B, ya'd sometimes call me F, and for a second, it was like it meant something... I know we still have shit to work out, and that things will take time, but we can't keep doing this. Pulling away every time the other one takes a step forward. So yeah, you know I usually call ya Buffy when things are serious, so I'll use it now. I love you Buffy, and I'm not going anywhere."  
"Promise?"  
"Yeah... I promise..." Faith smiled, this time being the one to close the distance. She wrapped her arms around the small frame of the blonde, letting her hands rest on the small of her back, while Buffy put her hands on either side of the brunette's face, lightly stroking her cheek with her thumb. The kiss started soft and slow, their lips softly touching, the quiet humming of their connection feeling more and more powerful with each passing minute. Soon, their tongues started to duel for dominance, their hands wandering under clothes, the heat between them growing more and more. It was Buffy who pulled away first, breathless, a smile dancing on her lips.  
"Let's get inside..." she whispered, hands gently caressing Faith's neck.  
The blonde took her hand in her's and led her inside, to her room. Thankfully, nobody tried to stop them, as the only thing on her mind was Faith, preferably naked, squirming under her. Or on top of her, at that point, she wouldn't mind either. The moment she closed the door behind them, she felt Faith's hands roaming her body again, her lips felt like they were everywhere at once, on her lips, her cheeks, her eyelids, her neck, her ears... the brunette couldn't get enough of her. Buffy slowly guided them to the bed, falling on top of the dark slayer, without breaking the kiss.  
"I want ya so bad..." Faith breathed, her hands stopping at the hem of her shirt, waiting for Buffy's nod to get it up and over her head. She gulped, seeing the creamy skin in front of her, the toned stomach, the encased breasts that she couldn't wait to free. As if reading her mind, Buffy reached behind her to let the bra fall. She took on Faith's reaction, a mix of amazement and lust.  
"I think we're still wearing too many clothes... especially you" Buffy smiled, sliding the brunette's tank top over her head. Of course, she wasn't wearing a bra. Her breasts were round and soft looking, her skin a bit darker than hers, and her hands seemed to have a mind of their own as they gently caressed her ribs, the sides of her chest before finally taking a soft globe in each hand and gently squeezing them, her eyes never leaving the dark ones watching her every move.  
"Faith..." the name fell from the blonde's lips, a soft pleading for more and it was enough to get the dark slayer moving. In a few seconds, they were both naked, Faith on top, a hand settled on each side of Buffy's face, keeping her weight on her arms to avoid smothering the other slayer.  
Buffy's hands softly roamed her body, her hand stoping at a familiar spot, the skin a thin lane rougher and she frowned.  
"Buffy... Stay here with me..."  
"I'm with you..." Buffy murmured before letting her hand travel southern, feeling Faith's hand mirroring her path. The brunette stopped breathing the moment she felt both their hands reach their destination. They had all night for foreplay, right now, it was about feeling each other, about forgetting the past, about taking that chance to finally be together, to be happy. So when she finally entered the blonde, who gasped and gripped her shoulder, she let go of everything but this moment. She began a soft pace, her eyes never leaving the green ones, darker than they usually were. After a couple of minutes, Buffy managed to get out of it enough to start moving her fingers, lightly stroking against Faith's clit, earning herself a groan in response.  
"Damn B..." Faith panted, her lips against the blonde's shoulder, her movements faster to try and stay in time with Buffy's.  
"God... oh God..." Buffy couldn't form a coherent thought. All she could think of was what Faith was doing to her. The way her fingers moved inside her, the way her lips brushed against hers, the way her eyes looked at her with a depth she'd never seen before. Way too soon for her liking, she started to feel the pleasure reaching its peak, her tows curled and her hold on the brunette's shoulder tightened to the point where she knew it was going to leave a mark.  
"Faith, oh my...ah!" She cried, a long moan escaping her lips as she struggled to not stop her own fingers from moving inside of Faith.  
She didn't have to wait long for Faith to join her in ecstasy though, a few minutes later, with a soft groan, and Buffy's name falling from her lips, the younger girl collapsed on top of her.  
The head slayer softly caressed the dark hair, her hands gently moving up and down Faith's back. She could feel her kissing her neck, her chest, and it was slowly driving her crazy again. Was it what it was like to be with Faith ? Never having enough of her ? Would she be able to compete with the people the brunette had been with ? Had she been any good?  
"B... I can feel you thinking, don't kill the mood, I'm not done with ya yet" Faith winked, straightening a bit so she could look at her lover. She smirked at the blush she could see forming on the beautiful face in front of her and brushed some blonde hair away from it. "It was... it was perfect B. You were perfect..." she whispered as if reading her mind, casting her eyes away. She had never been good with sharing feelings or any crap like that, but she knew Buffy needed her to try and make an effort. Didn't mean she was going to be any good at that, but she was willing to try.  
"Yeah... it really was... I love you Faith..." she murmured, her hand gently bringing Faith's face back to hers. The dark slayer smiled, and kissed her.  
Buffy knew that Faith wasn't the type to throw those words away carelessly and she was ok with it. It would make them all the more powerful every time she'd hear them.  
She rolled them around so she was on top and wriggled her eyes brows at the surprised look the other slayer gave her. Her eyes never leaving Faith's, her mouth closed around her left breast, her tongue getting out to get a taste of a raised nipple. The moan she heard send shivers down her spine and a wave of heat traveled her body, ending its journey as a pool of wetness between her legs. Oh yeah, she was more than ready for round two...

-

When Buffy opened her eyes the next morning - or afternoon, rather - she panicked for a second, finding the spot next to her empty. She looked around but Faith's clothes were still there, so the brunette couldn't be too far. She was about to get up when the door quietly opened, a gorgeous and almost naked slayer sneaking in the room. Buffy raised a brow, watching her. When their eyes met, the blonde couldn't help but laugh at the deer caught in the lights look her lover was giving her.  
"Trying to sneak out?" Buffy teased.  
"You just saw me sneaking in, B. I was thirsty, and you don't have any water here" she shrugged, taking of a tee shirt that was barely covering her ass, revealing that she was indeed naked underneath.  
"I'll keep a bottle on the nightstand for you. Now come back here, I want to snuggle for a while" the blonde wriggled her eyebrows, earning a laugh in response.  
"Oh yeah?"  
"Yeah... I didn't like to wake up alone... so you might have to make it up to me"  
Again Faith laughed, gliding in bed, hesitating for a second before putting her arms around Buffy, the blonde slayer putting her head on her chest, sighting contently.  
"So... I met Willow on my way back there..." Faith said, a smirk dancing on her lips. "It appears that you were quite... loud, last night". The slap she received didn't calm her laughter and Buffy just shook her head with a smile and a blush, taking her spot back in Faith's arms.  
With a smile of her own, the brunette closed her eyes and let sleep claim her back for a few more hours.

With the girls spending every waking - and not waking - moment together, it only took the gang a few days before they started grilling them about their new relationship. Starting with Xander questioning Buffy while they munched on the food Andrew was preparing.  
"So... you and Faith, uh? Can't say I saw it coming" she raised her eyes to stare at him, trying to gauge if it was a good thing or not. "I mean, ok, I might have half seen it coming" he laughed, pointing at his eyepatch. "Honestly, I knew how Faith felt, even she didn't really said the words. But I would have never guessed you liked her too"  
She nodded, staying silent for a few seconds, before replaying his last words. And feeling the need to correct him.  
"I... I love her, Xander. I know it seems crazy... but I do, I really do. And I think... no, I know she loves me too"  
"Of course she does!" Anya exclaimed, entering the room and stealing a carrot in Andrew's plate, who frowned and mumbled some complaints. "The girl went back in time for you, stayed stuck in a hell dimension for almost a year, and chose to come back for you. She might seem a little rude, but she's hot. I think she's a decent choice" the demon shrugged and stole some more food from Andrew who threw his hands up and pushed the plate in front of her.  
"Uh... thanks Anya... I think... Your approval means a lot" Buffy said, rolling her eyes. Anya nodded with a satisfied smile and Xander could only laugh.

-

Faith got cornered by Willow and Tara, shit eating grins on their faces as they pushed her in her room, closing the door behind them.  
"I'm not scared of ya, witches" the slayer raised a brow, a smirk on her lips.  
"Spill Faith!" Willow was almost jumping with excitement. Tara affectionately shook her head and took a sit on the couch.  
"I thought you heard it all the other night" Faith joked. The redhead rolled her eyes and tapped her foot impatiently. "Ok, jeez, don't get ya pants in a twist. I don't know what ya want me to spill though. We spent the night together, it was... awesome. She said she loved me... and now... well I don't know. It's usually the part where I get gone."  
"But you're not intending to do that, are you" Tara stated softly. It wasn't a question.  
"No... I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, but what I know is that I don't wanna fuck this up. Man, it seems crazy, me and B, together... but... I guess we've always been a bit crazy ourselves..."  
Willow grinned, nodding her head as if the brunette was making total sense. Her girlfriend chuckled and got up from the couch, walking to the brunette and putting a gentle hand on her shoulder.  
"You two are great for each other, I'm happy for you, Faith. Wether you believe it or not, you deserve it" she asserted, not leaving room for any kind of contestation.  
"Tara is right, and just so you know, we're all a hundred percent supporters of the Fuffy love !" The redhead grinned again, and she even went as far as clapping her hands a couple of times, earning an incredulous look from the slayer.  
"The what now ? No, wait, I don't even wanna know... I should probably go and see what B's been up to" she stated, shaking her head and exiting the room, trying to ignore the smart ass answer she received.

Of course, as luck would have it, she bumped into Joyce on her way to the kitchen. It wasn't that she was avoiding mama Summers, they even talked a few times in the last couple of days, with Faith finally having the chance at apologizing for all the things she had done, but she still felt quite uncomfortable around her, giving their history, and she would rather not have to talk to her without her sexy daughter acting as a shield.  
She tried a smile and a nod and kept walking but Joyce gently grabbed her hand and motioned for Faith to follow her in an empty office. She quietly closed the door as Faith nervously shifted from foot to foot, hands in her pockets.  
"So... what's up Mama S?" She finally asked when she couldn't take the silence anymore.  
Joyce smiled and took a seat on a chair, gesturing for Faith to do the same, which she did, not without a heavy sigh. It only amused Joyce, who watched the brunette nervously glance around before sitting on the chair across from her.  
"How are you doing Faith ? Feeling better ?"  
The slayer nodded, still unsure of where this was going. Or maybe not so unsure as rather unwilling to see where it could go.  
"Good... good... my daughter seems to have helped a lot with your recovery" Joyce stated, a eyebrow raised, and had Faith been drinking, she would have probably split her drink. Mrs Summers only smiled and nodded, not really waiting for an answer. "Before I give you the speech, you would probably like to know that Dawn has taken upon herself to be the one to give it to Buffy. She thought that someone should threaten her was she to hurt you, and well, you know her, she was thrilled to be the one to get the chance to do that".  
Faith wasn't sure if she was really understanding what the hell Joyce was talking about, but she thought that the polite thing to do was to not stay here staring at her like a mute, so she nodded her head and cleared her throat.  
"Uh yeah, sure Mrs S."  
Joyce chuckled before turning serious again. "I know that things have not always been easy for you Faith, or for you and Buffy, both together and separately. But here I am, trusting you with my baby, to take care of her. Don't make me regret it, yeah? And before you answer, rest assured that Buffy is about to make the same promise to her sister about not hurting you, just so you know that you're not the only one on the grill right now" she smiled to try and put the brunette more at ease. "I always thought that there was something special between you two, and even if it was put on hold for a while, here is your chance to make it right. And I know that it is what you want, so don't run away from it, Faith, even if it sometimes gets hard, even if it gets scary, you can take a step back to breathe, but just don't run, and you'll be fine, I can assure you that" she finished, putting her hand on the slayer's knee and obviously waiting for any kind of acknowledgement.  
Again, Faith stared at her, struggling with an answer. Buffy and her hadn't even really talked about their relationship and here she was, being given the parent's talk. She finally nodded her head again, quite uselessly. She thought for a minute more before speaking.  
"Mrs S... Everything is still a bit too new for me, but if there's one thing I'm sure of, it's that I care a great deal about B, and I'd never hurt her intentionally. Well... not anymore... So if ya want me to promise that I have only honorable intentions or whatever the saying goes, well, yeah, they're as honorable as they can be. I did some messed up things in the past, but I'm trynna be a better person, and that's part of thanks to B, she makes me wanna be better. So, uh, yeah, I'll take care of her?" She ended it like a question and Joyce smiled with a nod of her own. She squeezed Faith's leg before getting up.  
"Thank you Faith. Now you should probably go and find Buffy, somehow, I'm not sure that with her sister, she is doing as good as you just did with me" Mrs Summers laughed before opening the door. With a soft smile, she left Faith here, wondering what the hell had just happened.

-

She found the blonde in her room, mumbling to herself while tying a bit the mess that were her clothes.  
"Talking to yourself again Blondie?" Faith asked, leaning on the doorframe, an amused smile dancing on her lips.  
Buffy lifted her head and smiled, "I just had the strangest conversation ever with my brat of a sister".  
Faith chuckled, finally entering the room and taking a sit under the window. "Yeah, well I had to go through it with your mom, so I'm not sure who got it worst"Buffy raised a brow, waiting for more details. "I think it was the parent's talk, you know, the 'don't hurt my daughter or I'll put you through hell' or something like that. Can't say I had it before, so I can't be too sure" Faith shrugged.  
The blonde just laughed, joining her lover and getting herself comfortable between her legs, her back pressed against the brunette's chest.  
"Oh yeah, Dawn said and I quote 'you hurt Faith, I hurt your slayer ass ten ways to next Sunday, understood?'. Honestly, she scared me a bit", they both laughed.  
"Well, can't say I'm not happy that baby S has my back"  
Buffy turned in her arms so she could look tenderly in those beautiful brown eyes.  
"I'm happy too that she does... but she doesn't need to... cause I have every intention to take care of you myself" she whispered the words against her lover's lips, not waiting for another second before closing the distance. They pulled away a few minutes later and Faith gently caressed the blonde's cheek, hesitating for a second before voicing her thoughts.  
"Maybe we should talk ? I mean... I'd rather not, but I don't want it to come back bitting in our asses later..."  
"What about?" Buffy asked, suddenly worried about where this conversation was going. Faith sensed it and was quick to reassure the other slayer.  
"We're doing this, right?" Faith asked unsure. "The relationship thing I mean"  
Buffy softly smiled, finally understanding where Faith was going with this.  
"Yeah, we are... if you want to of course... I know that I do. I already told you, I love you Faith. And I... I know you do too. We still have things to talk about, and we will. Just... not now"  
"So... what now?" At the confused look she received, she added "I mean... what happens for us?"  
Buffy tenderly smiled, cupping Faith's cheek and running her thumb on her bottom lip.  
"Now begins the best part..."

And with a quick wriggle of her brows, she pushed Faith on the bed and straddled her. They shared a smile and the Bostonian couldn't help but quietly laugh.  
Life with the Scoobies would never be boring, but life with Buffy... She couldn't think of a better one.  
It had taken time, and challenges, they had fought, they had try to hate each other, and push each other away, but in the end, they had always ended up at the same point. Together. Maybe it was fate. Maybe it was destiny, like Tara had said, maybe the Powers that Be were to blame. Whatever the reason, Faith wouldn't question it, because being here with the blonde was the most genuine and perfect moment she ever had. Well, it was a tie with their first night together.  
She knew that they would probably fight again, but the making up part would soften the blow. She also knew that nothing ever stayed perfect, but in a way, she didn't want perfection. She realized for the first time that she had everything she ever wanted. People that loved her and that she loved too. People that would finally have a chance to be happy. And above all, she finally had Buffy.

"Yeah... it really does"

The end


End file.
